Here’s something we should all know: Making love and having sex are definitely not the same thing. Yes, these two terms are often interchanged when used to describe engaging in sexual activities, but they are so far apart. They’re not even on the same level!
And the major difference lies in this one simple thing: The intimacy shared between you two.
Let’s be real, because we all know how it goes. Sometimes, sex is just sex. It’s just lust, attraction, sexual tension, carnal desire. Two people can enjoy each other’s bodies without any sort of real connection.
But once there is a real connection, that’s when the act is elevated to a higher level. If there is a deeper intimacy present and shared between you two, then it’s more than just sex. It’s making love. And, guess what? There are actually signs he is making love to you, that can help you realize where his head and his heart are at!
The act of sex itself is a natural, hormone-induced occurrence. But the act of sex, when intertwined with feelings and intimacy and a real connection, could turn into a beautiful expression of love and affection. A man who is emotionally involved and invested in you will make love to you.
So what are the signs he is making love to you, and it’s not just about sex for him? That’s a question many have found themselves pondering at one point or another. We’re here to help you identify the signs he is making love to you so you can know just what is it you two have got going between the two of you!
Clear Signs He is Making Love to You
Have you had sexual encounters with this guy multiple times? Was it lust at first but now you have started to develop feelings for him? Are you wondering if he feels the same for you?
Then, girl, the best way to know that is to look for signs that can tell you if he is all in with just his body or with his mind too.
When you get physically intimate with someone just because you are feeling a sudden need to have sex, it is like getting physically attracted to someone. It is a kind of sex with no strings attached.
This means you don’t have feelings for that guy, just you two fulfilling your carnal desires.
But things are different when there are feelings involved.
In that case, you give all of yourselves to each other. You show your most vulnerable sides to each other. And the best thing about making love is that you feel an emotional attachment to each other.
Here I have come up with the clearest and the most common signs he is making love to you, and it’s not a one-night thing.
There is a Lot of Eye Contact
A man who is making love to you will want to take in all of you. His eyes will be all over your body, taking every inch of you in. But he will always, always find himself staring deeply into your eyes. Men who are just having sex won’t really bother with making eye contact with you. But a man who is making love to you will search for your gaze. He will maintain eye contact while in the act of making love.
This is a way for him to connect with you and to build intimacy between you two. It’s important to him to feel that connection with you, and to know that you are feeling the same. And when your eyes are closed, he will redirect his gaze to your lips (that he loves to kiss!) and your facial expressions, because he wants to know what you are experiencing and feeling.
Kissing is the Number one Thing
If a man is making love to you, that means he feels things for you. And if there are feelings involved, then kissing will definitely be an integral part of your lovemaking. In a more casual encounter, men won’t really engage in a lot of kissing. Kissing is a very intimate act — it’s been said that it’s actually even more intimate than sexual intercourse, because kissing and touching signifies a deeper connection and a lot of affection.
A kiss is worth a thousand words. A man who has feelings for you will want to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you. Loving, passionate, tender kisses are practically impossible to fake. These kisses will convey to you his feelings for you, and that’s how you know that he is making love to you.
Your Satisfaction is Important to Him
If it’s just sex for him, all that will matter to him is his satisfaction. It will be a means for him to, well, get laid and get off. A quick release and a means for him to be satisfied. But if it’s more than just sex, if he is all about making love to you, then his focus will be on your satisfaction. He will want to know what it is that will satisfy you, and he will do it because he wants you to be satisfied. Your pleasure is his business, and pleasing you will be his pleasure.
Making love is all about mutual satisfaction. And because your man cares about you, then he will want you to be completely satisfied. And he’ll do everything that he can to do so – and enjoy every minute of it.
He Focuses on Foreplay
The amount and quality of foreplay – or lack of it! – will tell you a whole lot about whether it’s making love or just doing the deed. Lovemaking is very much associated with foreplay that is sensual and intimate. If it’s just sex, then it will be a wham bam thank you ma’am kind of deal, quick and with a disregard for foreplay of any sort. A man who is making love to you will start by making out with you, touching you in all the right places, and engage in hot, pleasurable foreplay.
These erotic moves and gestures will build up your desire and get that fire burning even hotter, and will make the act of lovemaking all the more intimate.
He’s Taking His Sweet, Sweet Time
Casual sex is often rushed, disconnected, all about getting that quick release. But if a man is about more than just sex with you, then he won’t rush you. He will take his sweet time getting all intimate. It’s all about that erotic passion, which he will slowly and leisurely indulge in with you. Taking it slowly means he gets to prolong the magic of making love with you.
A man who has feelings for you will savor the heat and the passion between the two of you. And he will make it last as long as he can for you and him both.
He Says Your Name, and Whispers Sweet Nothings
Making love is all about having that connection. A man who feels for you and is making love to you may say your name, whisper it in your ear, shout it out loud. He will say your name during this passionate moment because that’s how much he cares about you. You are at the center of his universe during your intimate encounter. And saying your name will establish that connection all the more.
You may also find that a man who is making love to you may also whisper sweet compliments or comments. It may be as simple as “You’re so beautiful” to the sweetest whispered “I love you.” He has feelings for you, and therefore will want to make your passionate encounter as connected and intimate and personal as possible.
All of Your Body Gets his Utmost Attention
A man who is just getting off won’t really pay all that much attention to your entire body. Maybe just the parts he needs to finish, but everything else won’t matter to him. But if he’s catching feelings for you and the act is all about lovemaking, then he will want to show you how important you are to him and he’ll want you to feel like a queen. His queen. So he will lavishly shower your body with attention, every inch of it. And that includes, yes, going down on you. This is something that a man who truly cares about his partner’s pleasure will want to do, with pleasure.
Your body is his temple and he will praise and pleasure every curve, nook, crevice. And he will savor every single minute of it.
Read More: 15 Clear Signs He Misses You
He Shows his Affection for You
If its just about sex for him, then he won’t really be affectionate towards you. He won’t show his sweet, gentle side, and won’t bother giving you affection. But if there are feelings involved, then you will see that in his gestures and his behavior towards you. How he acts with you and towards you will show you his emotional connection with you as well as his affection. A man who has feelings for you will show his affection, be it via a tight hug, or brushing your hair gently off your face, or softly kissing your head, or entwining your fingers with his.
If you find him doing these things and letting his affection peek through, then it is more than just casual sex for him.
He Wants to Explore and Experiment
This goes back to what we talked about earlier, about how a man who is in it for more than just sex will place utmost value on your satisfaction. So what you want, your desires in bed, will be incredibly important to him. He will be very open to new things, and to exploring and experimenting, because he wants to do what will pleaser you. It’s not about what he’s used to or what he knows will get him to come. It’s about trying new things, doing what you want and desire so that you will come.
A man who has feelings for you will want to go beyond just satisfying himself, so he will open himself to new things so that you will be as pleasured as possible. This is a sign that he is all about making love.
He Soothes You and Makes You Feel Comfortable
If a man cares about you, then he will care about making you feel comfortable and safe in his arms so you can enjoy every moment of your lovemaking. He will show how much he feels for you by going out of his way to make sure that you feel comfortable with him. He will want to know about any anxieties or concerns you may have and he will do what he can to soothe them and to soothe you.
A man who is making love to you will want you to feel safe with him and to be relaxed, free from discomfort or anxieties, and free to fully savor the intimate moment you and he are sharing.
Your Boundaries Matter
A man who wants more than just a sexual encounter with you will treat you right, outside of the bedroom and in it. He reveres you, he worships you, and most of all, he respects you. More than about satisfying his fantasies and his carnal desires, what will matter to him is making sure that you are okay with what you both are engaging in. He will find out your boundaries and he will respect them. Whatever your reservations may be, whatever your lines are when it comes to physical intimacy and erotic acts, he will honor and respect them completely. You will never be forced into anything you’re not comfortable with, because that’s not something he would ever want.
You’ll know he is making love to you when this respect for boundaries is something that he values above all else.
He Lets Himself be Vulnerable With You — and You, With Him
Men like to show a certain masculine bravado. They tend to keep their vulnerable side reeled in, behind a facade of casual nonchalance. Even in the sack, when he’s just doing it for the sake of doing it, then you won’t really see any of that vulnerability. But if a man is in it for more than just the sex, you’ll find him letting his guard down and letting you see his vulnerable side. You’ll know that this is lovemaking for him if he is not afraid to let you see, really see, into him, because this only occurs with people he truly feels a connection to.
And the same goes for you. Once you feel that there are feelings involved, that it’s about making love and not just sex, then you will feel more vulnerable too. Because you’ll be able to feel that what’s happening isn’t just some casual thing. He’s letting you in completely, and you’ll find yourself opening up to him on a whole new level as well.
He Wants to Connect More With You After
Let’s be real: Some guys just want to do it. They just want to have sex. One good indicator of what he’s actually there for – sex or making love – is how he treats you afterwards. If it’s just sex, then after he’s done, he’s done. He won’t really bother spending more time with you or cuddling with you or engaging in a little bit of pillow talk. He’ll just go about his business.
But a man who made love to you will show an interest in connecting with you after your passionate encounter. He’ll want to cuddle with you, or talk with you. He wants that emotional connection, and he’ll make an effort. And he wants to know that you’re feeling what he’s feeling too, and that you’re okay after making love, because he cares deeply for you. So if you find your man spending time with you afterwards and connecting with you even in any small way, then you’ll know what his intentions truly are.
He Values Communication
A guy who just wants to get laid won’t care about your thoughts, your desires, and your opinions. And he won’t really make an effort to open up about his thoughts and desires either. After all, it’s just sex, it’s just doing it, so those things don’t matter. But if your man is making an effort to communicate with you before, during, and after, then you know it’s more than just the sexual act for him. If he’s opening up about his desires and he wants to know about yours too, then he’s in it for the love making.
Communication is a big sign that he feels for you. And we’re not just talking verbal communication, but also the non verbal communication. He will try to be so in tune with you that he’ll be able to read your body language and pick up on non verbal queue, and respond to them too. He’ll be paying such close attention to you and your body that he’ll be able to understand what your body is saying.
Positions Make all the Difference
Of course, sexual encounters are all about having variety and spice, and, as we mentioned earlier, being open to trying new things. So different positions are something that can be expected during erotic moments. But pay close attention to the positions you and he usually do. Lovemaking is all about choosing positions with care and thought. Positions in lovemaking are driven by a desire for more intimate connection, so he’ll want positions where he can kiss you or feel your body on his or be able to look you in the eyes.
If it’s just about sex for him, then he’s more likely to opt for positions where he doesn’t really have to look you in the eye or kiss you. But if he wants to make love to you, then he’ll want you two to start off with positions that can allow for more affection, intimacy, and connection.
You Can See it in his Face
For a guy who’s just there for the sex, your sexual encounter will mean just one thing for him: Release. It’s just a way for him to come and be satisfied. But if it was lovemaking for him and not just sex, then you will see it in his face. Because it’s more than just the pleasure for him, but the connection he feels with you and just being able to be as intimate with you as possible. He won’t be able to help but smile or let his happiness and contentment show, and you can see this in his face.
It’s the sweetest thing to see, and it’s an amazing tell-tall sign that it’s so much more than just a sexual thing for him.
You’ll Genuinely Feel the Difference
After all is said and done, trying to define making love isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem. It may vary for each person, because we all have different ways and means of showing emotion, seeking connection, and establishing intimacy. But at the heart of it all is this one simple thing: it the heart is involved, if there are feelings, then you will feel it. You’ll be able to genuinely feel it. It may sound cliche, but it’s true.
Making love is a shared pleasure, a shared intimacy, with shared emotions. You’ll both feel happy and content. And you’ll feel that connection with your partner, and how connected he also feels to you. Feelings are hard to fake, and especially in an act so raw and unfiltered. You’ll feel it deep down. Because making love is all about connecting with your partner, physically, mentally, and emotionally. As many have said, it’s when two truly become one.
Having sex can be a great, pleasurable encounter. Making love can be an otherworldly shared experience. It all depends on what you and your man are searching for and ready for at that point in time. If you’re looking for something deeper and your man desires a higher level of intimacy as well, then these signs he is making love to you will definitely be able to guide you into seeing what’s really there between you two!
He Has Deep, Meaningful Conversations With You
When it is just sex and no love, you tend to make the whole process fast and go for a quick release.
But things are not the same when you are making love. When you have feelings for someone, you tend to make the entire process of getting intimate slow and sweet.
You indulge in deep and meaningful conversations during foreplay. You talk about how you enjoy being so close to your partner.
This makes the bond between the two of you strong. And you start trusting your partner.
Does your partner do the same thing when you are together in bed? For example, does he like having private talks when you are in bed?
Then, honey, this guy is making love to you.
He is Vocal
When you have sex with someone, you just get into the act and get it done. You only think about your satisfaction, and that’s all. You are not interested in the satisfaction of your partner.
Is your partner the opposite of it? Does he think about your physical satisfaction along with his own? Does he ask you what you like the most in bed or what are your most erogenous zones?
If your answer to all these questions is a big “yes,” then girl, it is a sign that he is not in this just for sex. Instead, he is genuinely interested in you.
He Creates a Romantic Environment
Does this guy try to set up the environment when you are getting physically intimate? Or do you guys do it no matter the setting because you want to have sex?
If your partner falls under the first category, then the chances are that this guy has fallen for you.
Whenever you get intimate with him, he tries to set up the environment romantically. For example, he may decorate the room, put flower petals on the bed, play romantic music in the background, and light some candles.
No matter what he does to create the mood for physical intimacy, he does it because he wants to make it memorable for you.
This suggests he takes you for not just a sex partner but much more than that. And that means he is making love to you.
He Doesn’t Doze Off Right After the Act
Do you know what most men do right after having sex?
Then turn around and go to sleep!
Yes, I know, that is super annoying. But that is what happens when you have no-strings-attached kind of sex with a guy.
They have sex with you out of sexual tension. And when the deed is done, they just turn their back and sleep peacefully.
But things are a bit different when a guy makes love to you. He loves you, so he enjoys every second of lovemaking with you.
This is why when you cum together, he doesn’t turn his back on you. Instead, he kisses you or holds you close to his heart.
If your guy does this, know he regards you as more than just a sex partner.
He Doesn’t Pressurize You for Sex
A guy doesn’t always act sober when he wants to satisfy his carnal desires. There may be times he wants to pressure you to have sex.
As the relationship is just based on your physical needs, this may not seem like a big deal to the guy.
But when a guy develops feelings for you, he will never pressure you to get intimate. Instead, he will respect your feelings, wants, and desires. He will put your approval first before his.
In short, it will be a mutual thing where you both respect each other’s will.
He Confesses His Feelings for You
Does your guy tell you that he loves you while you are in bed?
Then it’s a clear sign that he has feelings for you. And he is not only for sex.
He expresses his love for you means you mean a lot to him. He loves you not just for your body but for who you are.
When a guy is in love with a girl, he makes that extra effort to make physical intimacy enjoyable for you and him.
But if you see that your partner doesn’t utter a single word or doesn’t make eye contact for once, be sure that he is with you just for sex.
He Hugs You While Doing the Act
When you are just in it for sex, you don’t seem to care about the other person’s feelings. All you want is to satisfy your physical needs. And so, all you go for is a quick release.
So, does your partner act when he is doing the act? Does he grab your boobs like it almost goes to the point of hurting you? Does he play with your nipples like he is popping a bubble wrap?
Does he use his nails to scratch your back so that you almost bleed?
If your guy does any of these, then know he is in a sexual frenzy. And he is just having sex.
Making love involves how your partner holds you when you are in the act. One of the common signs he is making love to you is that he will hug you with all his passion, cuddle you, and kiss you.
He will make you feel wanted. He will want to be inside you and be one with you.
He Maintains a Good Personal Hygiene
How does this guy appear in front of you when you are about to get physically intimate? Does he always come in front of your well-shaved, well-groomed, smelling nice, and wearing clean clothes?
You know, when a guy likes you and wants to make love to you, he will give that extra effort to keep himself clean and presentable so that you enjoy his company.
He will not just appear wearing unclean clothes, with his dirty beard, smelly armpits, and unbrushed teeth. Because if he does all these, it will mean that he is least interested in how you feel about his overall appearance.
He knows that he is with you just to satisfy his physical needs. And what that’s done, he will move on without wasting time thinking about how the whole experience was for you.
If you guys behave like this, you know what to think now. Right?
He Showers You With Compliments
How does your partner behave when you are not having sex or making love?
If your partner is all about praising you, and showering you with tons of compliments throughout the day, know that he is in it, not just for sex.
When a person genuinely likes you, he tells you how you are different from others, how you do things perfectly, how you have a strong personality, how beautiful of a smile you have, how generous you are, and things like that.
And when he says all these, he will never fail to lose eye contact with you. This shows how he is in awe of you and adores and respects you.
But, when a guy is with you just for sex, he will compliment you just for the sake of it. His compliments will mostly revolve around your physical features and how good you are in bed.
And he does this just to make you happy for the moment so that he can get into your pants and satisfy his sexual desires.
He Stays the Night With You
Does your guy always want to stay the night with you after you are physically intimate?
Girl, this is a sign that he is totally into you and he makes love to you.
When a guy wants to spend time with you even after satisfying his physical needs, he is genuinely interested in you. He has developed feelings for you, and he wants to know you more.
Spending the night doesn’t always mean going for a second round. It can mean spending quality time with each other, cuddling, sitting close to each other, holding each other’s arms, cooking, watching your favorite movies, drinking, etc.
After all, it’s just your closeness that he wants.
He Keeps in Touch with You After Getting Physically Intimate
If you have a partner who makes love to you, then he will always make sure to keep a check on you not only when you are together in the bedroom but also when he is away from you.
He will text you romantic and sweet texts throughout the day. He will call you whenever he misses you and wants to hear your voice. He will FaceTime you whenever he wants to see your face.
He will ask you how your day was and if you are okay. He may even turn up at your door to give you company when you are not feeling well.
But, if this guy doesn’t do any of the above things, then know that what he does is just sex and not lovemaking.
A guy just in it to fulfill his carnal desires will not call you or text you after having sex or going home. Instead, he will contact you only when he is physically aroused and needs you to meet his physical needs.
He Makes You Feel Good About Your Physical Features
As humans, we all face insecurities at some point or the other. And when it comes to having physical relations, almost all women feel insecure about their bodies.
We are worried about how we look and how our body smells. It can be any specific feature of your body, too, such as your skin tone, your nose, your mouth, your height, and your body shape.
No matter which part of your body you feel insecure about, if your guy makes you feel confident about your physical features, know that he has a lot in his mind for you other than making love to you.
But, when a guy is with you just for having sex, he may objectify you and make bad comments about your physical features.
He can say offensive things about your body if some specific part of your body comes in his way of having physical pleasures.
You Both Wait for the “Next Time.”
Do you and your guy complement each other so well while doing the deed that you look forward to spending time and being intimate with each other again?
If your answer is “yes,” then honey, this is one of the clearest signs that he makes love to you.
You and your partner are drawn toward each other like a magnet. You long to be together again as soon as he leaves. Then, finally, you can’t get enough of each other.
When you are together, you cuddle, kiss, and be super close to each other apart from making love. As a result, you are extremely comfortable in the company of each other.
But things are not the same when the guy you are with just has sex with you. He doesn’t long to meet you or want to see you again.
He doesn’t want to spend quality time with you or share sweet romantic moments.
Do the above signs indicate he is making love to your match with your partner?
If your answer is “yes,” then honey, your man is making love to you. He is in it for the long haul. And he has certainly developed some serious feelings for you.
And don’t forget to tell me how happy you are in this relationship!
Dedicated to all mothers, soon-to-be-parents and on the way to family life, The Queen Momma is a blog where all the wonders, adventures and magic happen!