Here’s something we should all know: Making love and having sex are definitely not the same thing. Yes, these two terms are often interchanged when used to describe engaging in sexual activities, but they are so far apart. They’re not even on the same level!
And the major difference lies in this one simple thing: The intimacy shared between you two.
Let’s be real, because we all know how it goes. Sometimes, sex is just sex. It’s just lust, attraction, sexual tension, carnal desire. Two people can enjoy each other’s bodies without any sort of real connection.
But once there is a real connection, that’s when the act is elevated to a higher level. If there is a deeper intimacy present and shared between you two, then it’s more than just sex. It’s making love. And, guess what? There are actually signs he is making love to you, that can help you realize where his head and his heart are at!
The act of sex itself is a natural, hormone-induced occurrence. But the act of sex, when intertwined with feelings and intimacy and a real connection, could turn into a beautiful expression of love and affection. A man who is emotionally involved and invested in you will make love to you.
So what are the signs he is making love to you, and it’s not just about sex for him? That’s a question many have found themselves pondering at one point or another. We’re here to help you identify the signs he is making love to you so you can know just what is it you two have got going between the two of you!
17 Absolute Signs He Is Making Love To You
Is it just sex? Is it something more? Is he making love to me?
There is a lot of eye contact.
A man who is making love to you will want to take in all of you. His eyes will be all over your body, taking every inch of you in. But he will always, always find himself staring deeply into your eyes. Men who are just having sex won’t really bother with making eye contact with you. But a man who is making love to you will search for your gaze. He will maintain eye contact while in the act of making love.
This is a way for him to connect with you and to build intimacy between you two. It’s important to him to feel that connection with you, and to know that you are feeling the same. And when your eyes are closed, he will redirect his gaze to your lips (that he loves to kiss!) and your facial expressions, because he wants to know what you are experiencing and feeling.
Kissing is the number one thing.
If a man is making love to you, that means he feels things for you. And if there are feelings involved, then kissing will definitely be an integral part of your lovemaking. In a more casual encounter, men won’t really engage in a lot of kissing. Kissing is a very intimate act — it’s been said that it’s actually even more intimate than sexual intercourse, because kissing and touching signifies a deeper connection and a lot of affection.
A kiss is worth a thousand words. A man who has feelings for you will want to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you. Loving, passionate, tender kisses are practically impossible to fake. These kisses will convey to you his feelings for you, and that’s how you know that he is making love to you.
Your satisfaction is important to him.
If it’s just sex for him, all that will matter to him is his satisfaction. It will be a means for him to, well, get laid and get off. A quick release and a means for him to be satisfied. But if it’s more than just sex, if he is all about making love to you, then his focus will be on your satisfaction. He will want to know what it is that will satisfy you, and he will do it because he wants you to be satisfied. Your pleasure is his business, and pleasing you will be his pleasure.
Making love is all about mutual satisfaction. And because your man cares about you, then he will want you to be completely satisfied. And he’ll do everything that he can to do so – and enjoy every minute of it.
He focuses on foreplay.
The amount and quality of foreplay – or lack of it! – will tell you a whole lot about whether it’s making love or just doing the deed. Lovemaking is very much associated with foreplay that is sensual and intimate. If it’s just sex, then it will be a wham bam thank you ma’am kind of deal, quick and with a disregard for foreplay of any sort. A man who is making love to you will start by making out with you, touching you in all the right places, and engage in hot, pleasurable foreplay.
These erotic moves and gestures will build up your desire and get that fire burning even hotter, and will make the act of lovemaking all the more intimate.
He’s taking his sweet, sweet time.
Casual sex is often rushed, disconnected, all about getting that quick release. But if a man is about more than just sex with you, then he won’t rush you. He will take his sweet time getting all intimate. It’s all about that erotic passion, which he will slowly and leisurely indulge in with you. Taking it slowly means he gets to prolong the magic of making love with you.
A man who has feelings for you will savor the heat and the passion between the two of you. And he will make it last as long as he can for you and him both.
He says your name, and whispers sweet nothings.
Making love is all about having that connection. A man who feels for you and is making love to you may say your name, whisper it in your ear, shout it out loud. He will say your name during this passionate moment because that’s how much he cares about you. You are at the center of his universe during your intimate encounter. And saying your name will establish that connection all the more.
You may also find that a man who is making love to you may also whisper sweet compliments or comments. It may be as simple as “You’re so beautiful” to the sweetest whispered “I love you.” He has feelings for you, and therefore will want to make your passionate encounter as connected and intimate and personal as possible.
All of your body gets his utmost attention.
A man who is just getting off won’t really pay all that much attention to your entire body. Maybe just the parts he needs to finish, but everything else won’t matter to him. But if he’s catching feelings for you and the act is all about lovemaking, then he will want to show you how important you are to him and he’ll want you to feel like a queen. His queen. So he will lavishly shower your body with attention, every inch of it. And that includes, yes, going down on you. This is something that a man who truly cares about his partner’s pleasure will want to do, with pleasure.
Your body is his temple and he will praise and pleasure every curve, nook, crevice. And he will savor every single minute of it.
Read more: 15 Clear Signs He Misses You
He shows his affection for you.
If its just about sex for him, then he won’t really be affectionate towards you. He won’t show his sweet, gentle side, and won’t bother giving you affection. But if there are feelings involved, then you will see that in his gestures and his behavior towards you. How he acts with you and towards you will show you his emotional connection with you as well as his affection. A man who has feelings for you will show his affection, be it via a tight hug, or brushing your hair gently off your face, or softly kissing your head, or entwining your fingers with his.
If you find him doing these things and letting his affection peek through, then it is more than just casual sex for him.
He wants to explore and experiment.
This goes back to what we talked about earlier, about how a man who is in it for more than just sex will place utmost value on your satisfaction. So what you want, your desires in bed, will be incredibly important to him. He will be very open to new things, and to exploring and experimenting, because he wants to do what will pleaser you. It’s not about what he’s used to or what he knows will get him to come. It’s about trying new things, doing what you want and desire so that you will come.
A man who has feelings for you will want to go beyond just satisfying himself, so he will open himself to new things so that you will be as pleasured as possible. This is a sign that he is all about making love.
He soothes you and makes you feel comfortable.
If a man cares about you, then he will care about making you feel comfortable and safe in his arms so you can enjoy every moment of your lovemaking. He will show how much he feels for you by going out of his way to make sure that you feel comfortable with him. He will want to know about any anxieties or concerns you may have and he will do what he can to soothe them and to soothe you.
A man who is making love to you will want you to feel safe with him and to be relaxed, free from discomfort or anxieties, and free to fully savor the intimate moment you and he are sharing.
Your boundaries matter.
A man who wants more than just a sexual encounter with you will treat you right, outside of the bedroom and in it. He reveres you, he worships you, and most of all, he respects you. More than about satisfying his fantasies and his carnal desires, what will matter to him is making sure that you are okay with what you both are engaging in. He will find out your boundaries and he will respect them. Whatever your reservations may be, whatever your lines are when it comes to physical intimacy and erotic acts, he will honor and respect them completely. You will never be forced into anything you’re not comfortable with, because that’s not something he would ever want.
You’ll know he is making love to you when this respect for boundaries is something that he values above all else.
He lets himself be vulnerable with you — and you, with him.
Men like to show a certain masculine bravado. They tend to keep their vulnerable side reeled in, behind a facade of casual nonchalance. Even in the sack, when he’s just doing it for the sake of doing it, then you won’t really see any of that vulnerability. But if a man is in it for more than just the sex, you’ll find him letting his guard down and letting you see his vulnerable side. You’ll know that this is lovemaking for him if he is not afraid to let you see, really see, into him, because this only occurs with people he truly feels a connection to.
And the same goes for you. Once you feel that there are feelings involved, that it’s about making love and not just sex, then you will feel more vulnerable too. Because you’ll be able to feel that what’s happening isn’t just some casual thing. He’s letting you in completely, and you’ll find yourself opening up to him on a whole new level as well.
He wants to connect more with you after.
Let’s be real: Some guys just want to do it. They just want to have sex. One good indicator of what he’s actually there for – sex or making love – is how he treats you afterwards. If it’s just sex, then after he’s done, he’s done. He won’t really bother spending more time with you or cuddling with you or engaging in a little bit of pillow talk. He’ll just go about his business.
But a man who made love to you will show an interest in connecting with you after your passionate encounter. He’ll want to cuddle with you, or talk with you. He wants that emotional connection, and he’ll make an effort. And he wants to know that you’re feeling what he’s feeling too, and that you’re okay after making love, because he cares deeply for you. So if you find your man spending time with you afterwards and connecting with you even in any small way, then you’ll know what his intentions truly are.
He values communication.
A guy who just wants to get laid won’t care about your thoughts, your desires, and your opinions. And he won’t really make an effort to open up about his thoughts and desires either. After all, it’s just sex, it’s just doing it, so those things don’t matter. But if your man is making an effort to communicate with you before, during, and after, then you know it’s more than just the sexual act for him. If he’s opening up about his desires and he wants to know about yours too, then he’s in it for the love making.
Communication is a big sign that he feels for you. And we’re not just talking verbal communication, but also the non verbal communication. He will try to be so in tune with you that he’ll be able to read your body language and pick up on non verbal queue, and respond to them too. He’ll be paying such close attention to you and your body that he’ll be able to understand what your body is saying.
Positions make all the difference.
Of course, sexual encounters are all about having variety and spice, and, as we mentioned earlier, being open to trying new things. So different positions are something that can be expected during erotic moments. But pay close attention to the positions you and he usually do. Lovemaking is all about choosing positions with care and thought. Positions in lovemaking are driven by a desire for more intimate connection, so he’ll want positions where he can kiss you or feel your body on his or be able to look you in the eyes.
If it’s just about sex for him, then he’s more likely to opt for positions where he doesn’t really have to look you in the eye or kiss you. But if he wants to make love to you, then he’ll want you two to start off with positions that can allow for more affection, intimacy, and connection.
You can see it in his face.
For a guy who’s just there for the sex, your sexual encounter will mean just one thing for him: Release. It’s just a way for him to come and be satisfied. But if it was lovemaking for him and not just sex, then you will see it in his face. Because it’s more than just the pleasure for him, but the connection he feels with you and just being able to be as intimate with you as possible. He won’t be able to help but smile or let his happiness and contentment show, and you can see this in his face.
It’s the sweetest thing to see, and it’s an amazing tell-tall sign that it’s so much more than just a sexual thing for him.
You’ll genuinely feel the difference.
After all is said and done, trying to define making love isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem. It may vary for each person, because we all have different ways and means of showing emotion, seeking connection, and establishing intimacy. But at the heart of it all is this one simple thing: it the heart is involved, if there are feelings, then you will feel it. You’ll be able to genuinely feel it. It may sound cliche, but it’s true.
Making love is a shared pleasure, a shared intimacy, with shared emotions. You’ll both feel happy and content. And you’ll feel that connection with your partner, and how connected he also feels to you. Feelings are hard to fake, and especially in an act so raw and unfiltered. You’ll feel it deep down. Because making love is all about connecting with your partner, physically, mentally, and emotionally. As many have said, it’s when two truly become one.
Having sex can be a great, pleasurable encounter. Making love can be an otherworldly shared experience. It all depends on what you and your man are searching for and ready for at that point in time. If you’re looking for something deeper and your man desires a higher level of intimacy as well, then these signs he is making love to you will definitely be able to guide you into seeing what’s really there between you two!