No matter where you are in a relationship – whether you just started dating your man or you and he have been together for a while and seem to be falling into somewhat of a rut – one question always keeps us wondering. That is the question of how to keep a man interested in you forever.
I mean, let’s face it: Winning over a man’s heart and his interest is definitely not easy. But keeping his heart and keeping him interested in you for the long haul is a whole new ballgame altogether!
Yes, it can be very, very daunting and challenging. But it’s actually not the impossible task that it may sometimes seem to be. Of course, every person has individual expectations and standards, differing from one to the next. But in relationships, there are certain things that are almost universal when it comes to what men look for in a partner.
So if this question of how to keep a man interested is something that’s been weighing on your mind, read on for our guide on keeping him hooked forever!
How To Keep A Man Interested In You Forever
This guide to how to keep a man interested will help you to hold on to your special someone!
Avoid being too clingy.
When you make that love connection and fall for someone new, of course you absolutely can’t get enough! You want to spend as much time as you can with your special someone, you want to be around them as much as possible, you want to be texting with them or talking to them over the phone when you have to be apart. That’s totally natural. You’re consumed with love and affection and all that good stuff, after all.
You also, naturally, want him to be feeling the same way about you. You want him to want to always be with you as much as you do him. And so sometimes. You can’t help but feel hurt or offended, or even unloved, when it seems he doesn’t feel the same way and wants or needs to spend a little time apart.
What you have to keep in mind is that you and he have separate lives, lives that have been there before you became a couple and lives that should still thrive now that you are together. Some time apart, a little breathing room, is good for any relationship. Maintain the full, individual lives you have. It’s healthy. What’s not healthy is being too clingy. It can be suffocating and isn’t good for any couple. Let each other breathe, give each other a little space. It will do wonders in keeping your relationship going strong.
But always find ways to show him you care.
A piece of advice you can commonly hear when talking about how to keep a man interested is to play hard to get. They say that you should keep your true feelings at bay and make him work for it because men are hunters and they are all about the chase. Very common advise, but honestly, also quite ill-conceived.
Yes, maybe during the courtship or the start of a relationship, it’s good to not come on too strong. To not, for a lack of a better term, be too easy to get. Because it is true that people will tend to value more what they had to work hard for. But when you actually are in a solid, steady relationship, then that’s a whole different ballgame altogether. Now isn’t the time to pretend you don’t give a crap. Now it’s all about finding ways to show him you care.
This doesn’t mean you have to go all out all the time and bombard him with grand romantic gestures. It just means showing him your affection towards him, in little ways. Just make sure he knows and he feels that he’s important to you. Quit playing games with his heart, as the song says — and be honest about how you feel. He’s in a relationship with you because he has feelings for you, so don’t be stingy about your feelings for him!
Say goodbye to emotional baggage.
We are who we are because of everything that we’ve been through. That is true. What brings us to the present are the roads we’ve taken in the past. And so of course, it’s natural to remember and even cherish our past. Being in a new relationship shouldn’t ever mean that we should completely forget and disregard the past. What you should do though is to check your emotional baggage at the door.
The only way you can be in a healthy relationship is if you have completely let go of the emotional baggage you have, whether it be from a past relationship or some past issues. That will hold you back from being the best person you can be for your special someone. Never ever compare your man to your ex boyfriends and never let him feel he has to compete with the ghosts of the past for your heart.
Make him feel that he’s the one you want to be with, and that he’s not someone who’s just there to help you heal from your emotional wounds. Letting go of your emotional baggage will help keep your main man at your side.
Avoid being way too nice.
Before you say anything, we’re not saying you should go and be a cruel little heartbreaker. Being a good person is always an important quality that everyone – guys and gals – look for in a mate. When we say avoid being way too nice, what we mean is that you should not pretend of bend over backwards to be overly nice just so you become more likable or appealing to him. Men can see through that, and they don’t want someone who’s just going to be a pushover to them.
What men do want is a woman who can challenge them. They want a partner who is strong, has a great sense of humor, knows what she wants and aren’t afraid to go after it, and who won’t be afraid to stand up to them and speak their mind either. Not saying you should start picking fights or being argumentative, or being mean when you see an opening. It’s valuable to be kind and to have a good heart to the person you love.
Just don’t overdo it to the point of losing yourself. Don’t be afraid to call him out when need be. Don’t be afraid to challenge his opinions. Speak your mind about your relationship. Be the kind and badass woman that you are, and that combo is sure to keep him hooked.
Spontaneity is a good thing.
You know how at the beginning of a relationship, you’re all about trying new things with your guy? You’re open and game to try new things, and you’re relaxed, funny, and all about being easy going and fun. That’s part of the rush and thrill that comes from starting something new with someone special.
But the reality is that life’s tempo catches up with us, and as you settle into your relationship and get into a rhythm with your significant other, and start going through the day to days of responsibilities and adulting and such, then you tend to lose sight of that free-spirited, fun loving person. Remember, it’s part of what made him fall for you! So even with all the obligations and the every day grind, let your inner free spirit out to play too.
Don’t forget to have fun with him, to go with the flow and be relaxed and go on adventures with him, big and small. Embrace every chance to spice things up, and his interest in you will stay red hot!
Be innovative and take initiative.
We’ve all heard it: Men are hunters and women are prey. Words often said, but really quite untrue! Sure, it seems to be an unwritten rule that it’s the guys who should always make the first move and the girls should just sit and wait.
But the reality is that real men actually appreciate a proactive woman! As we stated earlier, it’s an attractive quality in a man’s eyes for a woman who knows what she wants and gets it. So in your relationship, don’t be a passive participant. Don’t be afraid to take charge, to make the first move and to initiate things. This goes in your day to day, in your plans, in how your relationship goes, and yes, even in the bedroom. Don’t be afraid to try new things and show him what you want, in all aspects.
This will show him that he’s got an equal partner in you. And hey, it’ll also light his fire, if ya know what we mean! This is definitely a greatly to keep a man interested.
Be interested in him.
This seems obvious, no? But it’s actually something that’s overlooked because it seems so simplistic. It’s true, though: One of the easiest, most basic, and most effective ways to keep a man interested in you is for you to show interest in him. It’s about showing a genuine, real interest in his passions, his work, his hobbies, his life, in who he is. It’s about not just being his lover, but being his friend.
This may not so important, but trust me, it is. Make an effort to learn and know about his likes, listen to his stories, get to know the people who matter to him. Don’t pretend – he’ll see through that. If you really like him, you’ll have a genuine interest in him and his life. Let him see that, make him feel that he can be truly himself and he can trust you with anything, no judgments.
If he feels that you are someone he can be who he really is with, and you truly care about what he cares about and you genuinely like him and are interested in his life, then his interest in you will grow exponentially and you’ll win him over completely.
Be nice to your guy’s family and friends.
When you truly care about someone, then you care about those that he loves too. Or at least, you have respect and concern for them, because they are important to the person who is important to you.
One of the most means to keep a man interested in you is to show kindness to those near and dear to him — his family and his friends. By this, we don’t mean you should suck up to them or stalk them or be overly enthusiastic and aggressive in getting close to them. It should happen naturally and organically, and if you hit it off with them, then great! Having his loved ones adore you is a great plus in your favor. And you enjoying spending time with them is a greta plus too.
But if that may prove to be too much too soon (or at all), then at least show respect, care, and an appreciation for them because they are people who love the one you love. Seeing you be genuinely nice and appreciative of those who are most valuable to him will mean the world to him.
Tease him. Seduce him.
In the early throes of a wonderful, exciting new relationship, we all put extra effort into being attractive to our partner. So think back to the start of your relationship, when you took special care and effort into being someone he will desire and can’t stop thinking about. You teased him and seduced him and made him want you bad, and he could not get enough!
As your relationship grows and you move deeper than the initial honeymoon phase, a mistake many do is they stop exerting all that extra effort. You may find that you have started taking for granted that your man is attracted to you and loves you, and may have stopped that fun, sexy phase.
Never stop! No matter how long you’ve been together, always find ways to make him remember the butterflies, and feel them again. Keep surprising him in the bedroom, show little public displays of affection, even send him flirty messages throughout the day. Avoid falling into a rut, and keep things hot and sexy between you two. That’ll keep his engine revved up for you.
Entice his brain.
While we talked about how keeping him excited sexually is important in keeping his interest, it’s not the only thing you should seduce and excite. You should be able to entice his brain as well! Yes, that’s right. You have to focus on his mind too.
The brain has a lot of power, and the mind is a sexy, sexy thing. You should make an effort to excite him intellectually even before exciting him sexually and that will definitely pique and maintain his interest. And the brain can actually be the biggest tool of seduction, if used right.
Show him that you are interesting and smart and witty and you have so much to offer, not just when it comes to your skills in the bedroom. You are intelligent, and someone who can challenge and spark his mind too. That’s truly attractive to a man, and will get him totally hooked on you.
Make an effort to always look and feel great.
It’s a well known adage that men are very visual creatures in nature. That’s true — but it may actually mean something other than what you think it means.
Hearing this, you might think, oh he wants someone who looks perfect, who looks like a supermodel, a woman who’s attained that standard of beauty that media perpetuates that is, to be real, impossible. But that’s actually not true. You may find yourself obsessing on what you perceive to be your flaws or shortcomings, but while you think that your man is focusing on those, what he is in fact focusing on and completely worshipping are your best physical traits.
He is totally attracted to you, imperfections and all — all you need to do is remember that and believe it, and always make an effort to take care of yourself and look good and focus on being the best you that you can be. Be your best self, feel good about yourself, and that will make you even more attractive in his eyes. A woman who loves herself and feels good about how she looks and is confident about it is someone a man finds truly attractive, and will keep him interested in you for the long haul.
Take good care of your man.
A lot of guys probably wouldn’t admit this easily, but honestly, many men long for someone who will take care of them. Someone who will look after them and show them that they matter and be there for them.
Now bear in mind, there is a big difference between taking care of someone and mothering them. We’re talking about the former and definitely not the latter. Do not mother him like you are mothering an immature child, over pampering and constantly hovering around. That’s very smothering, and not what he needs.
What you should do though is take care of him. Ask him about his day, remind him to eat, wait up for him til he gets home, care for him when he is sick… Those are small things but they mean a lot and will be very much appreciated by your man. These sincere, simple gestures will warm his heart and keep his interest on you.
Match your level of effort to his.
A major mistake that many make when in a relationship is giving way too much way too soon. It’s understandable, because when you love a person, you want to shower them with that love and show them how deeply you feel and how strongly you care.
But, and this is a big one, you have to be careful not to do what they call a “love bomb”. Simply put, you should avoid overwhelming him with your emotions too fast, especially if you aren’t getting that same level of effort from him. That will just give him the upper hand and may even lead to him taking your relationship, and yourself, for granted. Never be the only one who is trying.
Building and growing and establishing a healthy relationship is a two-person job. A relationship is a partnership after all, and you and him are both responsible when it comes to making it all work. So try to match his level of effort. Don’t give too little, because that might lead to him feeling neglected emotionally. Don’t give too much, because that may scare him off. Walk side by side and at the same pace. Balance is key. And this will ensure a relationship that will last.
We saved perhaps the most valuable piece of advice for last, because this will help you not only in keeping your man interested, but also with all the other aspects and relationships you have in your life. Remember these magic words: Be yourself.
That’s right. Stay true to who you are. Embrace who you truly are, and don’t stifle it or bend over to change yourself just to keep your man. That isn’t the real, true way to stay in a real man’s heart. Sure, it might seem to work for a while, but in the long run, if he realizes that you are a woman who isn’t ready or brave enough to be who she truly is, he won’t respect you or feel like you are a keeper.
The best way for you to attract someone? Just be yourself. It sounds cliche, yes, but it is true. Your true, authentic self, that’s always, always better than trying to be someone else. Show him the real you. Let him in. Love yourself and respect yourself, and know your worth. That will draw him more towards you, and let him know that you are someone who is truly worth keeping. And a real man will become more interested with each passing day he gets to know the real you more.
When it comes to how to keep a man interested, the steps in the guide are really helpful in ensuring that your special someone is in it for the long haul with you. But a little reminder: Before you proceed, be absolutely sure that your man is a keeper, and he’s the one for you. Never do anything that is way out of your zone of comfort just to make him stick around, and only exert all the effort in you are sure about your man.
Hey there, Martha here, a full-time mom of two, currently trying to bring a small impact in everyone’s life whom I can reach through The Queen Momma. I usually write on topics related to parenting, pregnancy and motherhood. Having gone through a few rocky relationships myself, I consider myself somewhat of an “expert” on topics related to dating and relationships.
I formerly worked at Special Needs Network Inc and BrightStar Care of Beverly Hills as a head manager. I have a passion for assisting organizations and individuals in achieving their objectives and have had the opportunity to do so throughout my professional career. At present, writing for The Queen Momma is a great addition to my professional career.