They say that breaking up is hard to do. And boy, is that ever true! Being in a relationship means you shared a part of your life and your heart with another person. It means that you were a big part of each other’s lives, and created many memories together. So when that ends, it can be hard to let go or move on. You may have tried and tried, but it may have proven to be harder than you thought. Or you may be doing okay in that department, and you wonder if your ex is, too.
Either way, you’ve found yourself reading this, which means things have been happening that are making you want to figure out the answer to the golden question: What are the signs my ex boyfriend still has feelings for me?
It may be that you are curious because you want to know he’s ok and moving on like you and you two can be on okay terms as exes. Or it may be that truth be told, you are still not over him and you’re wondering and hoping there’s a chance he’s not over you either.
Perhaps he’s been acting a certain way, and you’re not quite sure what to think and you’re trying to process it all and trying to decipher what’s going on.
Knowing the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) signs will help you to be able to identity them and figure out what’s going on in that head and heart of his. If you’re desperately wanting to find out, Are these signs my ex boyfriend still has feelings for me?, then this guide will definitely help you to be able to guard your heart and figure things out.
He may be kind of openly showing you some signs, or he may be acting cautiously, or he may be valiantly trying to hide his true feelings. Whatever the case may be, these signs can and will totally aid you in processing what is happening and how he’s acting towards you.
True, one or two of these signs isn’t a clear indicator that he still has feelings for you. But if you find that you ex is ticking off multiple things on this list, then he really and truly is still carrying a big torch for you!
15 Sure Signs Your Ex-Boyfriend Still Has Feelings For You
Does the way he’s been acting towards you making you pause and wonder? Do you find yourself processing his words and actions because they’re making you feel feelings? This list is here to help!
1. He’s in touch
It may be that he’s tried really hard to keep in touch with you after the break up. Sure, that’s actually not uncommon, especially for relationships that lasted for quite a while and ended amicably. You and he were part of each other’s lives for so long so there may always be that desire to somehow stay in each other’s lives still as friendly exes. But if your ex is particularly committed or insistent in always keeping in touch and maintaining communication, then it may be that he is still not over you and he misses having you as his partner.
It may also be that you haven’t heard from him in a while, maybe you’ve lost means to contact each other (changed numbers, locations, etc). But then circumstances present themselves and your paths cross and you have each other’s contact info again, and then he starts getting in touch with you more and more. Texting, calling… Just back in your life once he gets a window of a chance. And it’s not because he needs something or you have business to deal with, he just wants to talk to you. To hear your voice, to see how you’ve been and how you are, and to reconnect. That’s a big sign that he is missing you bad.
2. He asks about you or stays in contact with your friends and family
If you and your ex were in a serious relationship for a significant amount of time, then most likely you’ve accumulated many shared friends and loved ones: The friends you spent time with as a couple, your friends who became his friends and his friends who became your friends too, family members whom you’ve gotten to know. There are quite a few people who are in both of your lives, and continue to be so even post break up. Now, you may have found out that he’d been subtly asking about you to those people. You may have also noticed that he’s kept in touch with shared friends or some of your family members. Sure, it may just be that he wants to know how you are, or he really just is fond of your common friends.
But chances are, you are on his mind and even if he’s trying to not be in contact with you, he’s still finding ways to somehow feel connected to you and this is his way of managing this. Also, he may even be hoping these shared loved ones may mention how he asked about you to you – or mention stuff about having talked to him, etc. It may pave the way for you two to reconnect again, more organically.
3. He gets jealous
So of course, while you and he were together, it’s very normal for him to show signs of jealousy every once in a while. But once you two have broken up and you find him exhibiting some twinges of jealousy, then that’s not as normal. Sure, feelings don’t disappear overnight. However, if he’s not missing you in that way, then you being with someone else won’t push those buttons in him, or at least not so intensely.
So if you guys are in contact and you talk about who you’re currently seeing and those telltale signs start to rear their head – he’s dismissive or trying hard to seem aloof, or he’s very critical, or he says you could do better, or can’t seem to believe you’re with that guy – then there’s a biiiiig chance that he is missing you, girl.
4. He’s all over your social media
These days, it’s easier than it’s ever been to check up on someone or even do some “stalking”. Social media has made it so easy to stay within (virtual) reach of someone. It certainly makes it easy for your ex to keep abreast of what’s going on with you, and somehow even stay connected to you and have a presence in your life still. So if you see that your ex is (still) following all your socials, always peeks at your Insta story, likes your posts, or even comments every once in a while, then that may be a sign that he misses you and is still not over you.
At the very least, these are clear signs that he doesn’t want to erase you from his life completely and still wants to be connected to you, and cares about you. Figuring out what all that means, well, a way to decipher that is by seeing if other signs on this list are being ticked off as well!
5. …Or he disappears completely
He’s ignoring me. He’s avoiding me. He’s disappeared completely. He doesn’t care. It’s over. Well, you may think that’s the case if he seems to have vanished from your life. But actually, that may be a big indicator that he misses you a lot and still may be longing to be with you. He may still have such deep feelings for you and want to be with you, and the only way he can deal with those feelings is by avoiding you. Otherwise, those feelings may overwhelm him, and so he can’t really be around you or see how you’ve been because it hurts. He knows he can’t be with you and can’t express those feelings he still has for you. So he may figure, it’s best to go cold turkey.
And that’s why when he disappears completely, it may not be that clear cut indicator that he doesn’t care about you anymore that you may be thinking. In fact, it may just be the complete opposite!
6. He drunk calls or drunk texts you
A favorite saying of mine is “In vino veritas” which means “In wine, there is truth.” Simply put, it’s saying that when there’s alcohol involved, a person’s walls are down and they are more sincere and their true feelings show. Situations like these are no exception. You might think, oh he doesn’t care anymore, because under normal circumstances he tries to act indifferent towards you or all casual and just friendly. But then when he’s drunk, you find yourself on the receiving end of a drunk call or drunk text from him and wondering why he’s reaching out and if he’s playing you or sending mixed signals.
But really, the signals are pretty darn clear here. When he’s sober, he probably tries to play indifferent or as having moved on because logically you two have broken up and that’s how it should be. When he’s had alcohol however, he can’t keep his real feelings from seeping through. And the reality is that you’re on his mind and he’s missing you. And that’s why he’s reaching out to you. No matter how hard he tries to fight it when sober, the urge to connect with you still wins in the middle of an alcohol-filled night.
7. It’s in the non-verbal
Actions speak louder than words. Yup, that is true. Sometimes, not a single word has to be uttered for real emotions to reveal themselves. The non-verbal signs are ever present to shine a light on what is not said. So try to be a little more observant when he’s around. It could be something as basic as his face lighting up when he sees you, or him not being able to help but smile. Or it may be that you catch him stealing glances at you, or you can feel his eyes on you when you’re not looking. You may also find some movements being mirrored. Or that even if he’s making an effort not to show any affection towards you or talk to you directly, he still somehow gravitates near you.
These things may seem small but they actually are a pretty great indicator that he is missing you!
8. He makes an effort to make you smile
A great indicator that someone still has feelings for you and adores you is when they go out of their way to make you smile. A person who cares about you wants to make you happy and to see you happy. And you can bet that if your ex is missing you bad and still has feelings for you, he’ll take every opportunity to try to make you happy! So when he calls you up and shares a story that he know will make you laugh, or when you’re around each other and he does a small gesture that he knows will make you smile, then it can be a sign that he misses you. After all, making you smile wouldn’t matter to him if he didn’t have any feelings for you anymore.
Also, humor is almost always a surefire way to cut through any awkwardness or any ice from a breakup. It’s something that can get your guard down eventually, and if that’s something he wants, then he’ll totally try to make you laugh and make things comfortable between you two again.
9. He acts like the two of you are still together
When you were still together, you acted a certain way towards each other. You were comfortable with each other, affectionate, and you had routines or rituals that you used to do together. After a break up, these things change. Things get a little more detached, a little less personal, and that special intimacy isn’t something you touch on anymore.
But when you find that some of his actions still seem to be how they were before, then that may be an indicator that he misses you and your relationship. You may find him still affectionate, or he may still talk to you in that easy, familiar tone, or he may still touch on that intimacy you two once shared whether in conversations or in how he looks at you. These are all pretty good signs that the strong feelings he had for you are still ever present, and he misses you.
10. Conversations you two have are all about you
Okay, so it’s post break up. You two have stayed connected or have somehow reconnected. You’re having conversations, talking and sharing… And you realize that the conversations always seem to revolve around you! You find him talking about things about you he remembers, habits he knows you had or expressions you’d always utter, or something you did or said when you were a couple. Or he’d constantly ask about you, ask how you are, want to know everything about you and what you’re thinking. However which way, the conversation just always sees to be about you and he can’t help but talk about you and want to know about you.
That level of interest clearly shows one thing: Your ex really misses you! He still feels strongly about you and can’t get you off his mind and he is All. About. You.
11. He shows interest in your love life
When two people are in a relationship, then of course you are each other’s big loves. Once you’re no longer together, it’s hard to fathom sometimes that the person you’re with would feel as strongly for someone else. Especially if there are still feelings involved between the exes. So think about it: Does your ex seem particularly interested in your love life? Does he ask questions about who you’ve been seeing since you broke up? Does he ask about the real score between you and your current man? Does he ask you to defined your present relationship, and maybe not sound as supportive as he should?
Those are all strong indicators that your ex has been missing you and still loves you. And he feels that no one can measure up to him because he knows in his heart that he could still be and still is the one for you.
12. He opens up to you
When you and he were still a couple, you used to share everything with each other. What happened during your day, your thoughts and feelings, especially the big things that happen in your life. Now, you’re no longer together. But as you reconnect with each other, do you find him opening up to you? Does he share what’s been going on with him? Has he told you something big and personal that he wouldn’t tell anyone else? Has he shared a very major thing that happened to him and told you that this is something nobody else knows?
These are huge signs that your ex misses you and what you had and he still considers you as one of the most special people in his heart.
13. Sexual innuendos are very much present
When a man misses you and wants to be with you still, then he longs for that intimacy you two used to share. And that includes physical intimacy. He’ll still desire you as much as he used to, and so he’ll sneak in little sexual innuendos to test the waters and remind you of that intimacy as well. He may bring up all the wild stuff you used to do, or the passionate moments you had, or even jokingly remind you of the funny, unforgettable incidents that may have happened during an intimate encounter. Having these sexual innuendos be present in your conversations mean that he craves the intimacy that you used to have and wants to be as close to you as possible, emotionally and physically.
If you’re worrying about being just a booty call, trust us, this is something your gut will be able to tell you. A booty call may be more casually brought up. But if its real intimacy he misses and wants, then he’ll be more cautious about it and see if you feel the same way, and that’s where sexual innuendos come in. But know this: Either way, if sexual innuendos come up, then you can be sure that your ex is absolutely craving for you.
14. He goes back to what’s unresolved between you two
As your relationship fell apart, there were issues and factors, certainly, that contributed to the break up. There were hurts and painful moments, confusion, questions that have not been uttered and answered, and things that were said out of hurt or things that you wanted to say but weren’t able to. Usually, once the relationship is over and you have both moved on, then those things are forgiven and you make your peace with all of it.
But if there’s a feeling of being unresolved, then that means that your relationship likewise is unresolved for one or both of you – and one or both of you are not over it. If you find that he delves into those unresolved things, that he touches on things that seem to have a lack of closure and finds a way to talk about it with you, then he still values your relationship and what you had, and he wants to make things right. He misses you deeply, and he is still consumed by what you two shared together.
15. He always talks about shared memories and what you had together
When you are in a relationship, you share a life and you collect memories. You share so many moments and emotions. You were in this crazy wonderful loved up ride together! And when that relationship ends, it doesn’t mean you forget the memories – you cherish them, but at the same time you won’t really keep coming back to them or talk about them, at least not if you’ve moved on.
But if you see that your ex still seems to always bring up memories from your time together, and always refers to things that happened between you or inside jokes or happy moments or stuff that’s unforgettable or special between you two, and intimately talks about your time together with you, then that is a definite indicator that he misses you deeply in his heart. After all, if he’s over you and doesn’t feel strong emotions for you anymore, then apart from the random and infrequent mild reminiscing, he won’t engage in talking about “what used to be” or “what might have been”. But if he still misses you and loves you with all his heart, then you’ll find him delving into your relationship and everything you shared more often.
Now that you’ve read this through and you know all the major signs, then it’s time to really think about things. And if he does still have feelings for you, the next thing to figure out is, What are you going to do about it?
After all, the two of you did break up for a reason. But then again, the fact that feelings are still there, well, they are still there for a reason, too. The next step is up to you!