Relationships are complicated. They are tricky. They’re wonderful and incredible and can make you happy and fill your world with love like nothing else can. But they can also play with your mind and put you through the ringer with all the challenges and the push and pull that can go on.
One such push and pull that can come about is about attention. Many a woman is familiar with this scenario: Feeling ignored by her man. Whether it’s a guy you just started seeing, or someone you’ve been with for a while now, there comes a time in many a relationship when the man seems to be pulling away and ignoring you. And feeling ignored by your guy feels really crappy. There’s no sugar coating that. Of course it does.
But, girl, don’t let something like this totally eat away at your confidence and self-esteem and make you start lowering yourself by begging for his attentions and affections! There is something you can do that lets you stay the 100% awesome, empowered woman that you are AND get him to start shaping up and treating you right.
It’s very basic: Ignore him back! Yes, learning how to ignore a guy that ignores you will be able to A) Help you regain your confidence and know your self worth, B) Open your eyes as to whether he’s truly worth it, and C) If he is the kind of guy that is worth it, it will make him realize how much you mean to him and make him chase after you!
But though it is very basic logic, ignoring him back may be something that can prove to be a huge struggle for you. And that’s understandable. After all, when we like someone, it’s hard to play the ignoring game because that’s the opposite of what we want to do, which is to shower them with affection and be connected to them as much as possible. And on the other end of the spectrum, we can feel hesitant because of the fear of going overboard with the ignoring and push them completely away.
What you have to keep in mind through all of these is that sometimes, we have to do things that may be hard or challenging for the sake of our relationship and our own sense of self-respect. Relationships aren’t easy. Having feelings for someone isn’t easy. But with a few careful, smart moves, we can be well on our way to being in the kind of relationship we deserve, and being treated the way we deserve. And frankly, ignoring a guy who ignores you is sometimes one of those careful, smart moves.
When it comes to ignoring a guy that ignores you, just remember this: Utilize “ignore” in the right way, and you’ll be well on your way to a happy, taken care of heart. If that’s with him making your heart happy because ignoring him has awoken in him just how much he loves you and makes him chase after you, well, it depends on whether or not he actually deserves to be not ignored by you. But trust us, when you’re ignoring a guy that ignores you, if done right and if he’s the right guy will have him chasing after you before you know it!
How To Ignore A Guy That Ignores You And Make Him Chase You
These seven simple ways will get you well on your way to getting him to turn right back around and run after you!
1. Ignore the instinct to have overblown emotional displays.
Look, we’re all human. We all have emotions. We feel things. And it’s human nature to express how we feel. Especially when we fall in love. And when we get hurt. But though these statements are all generally applicable to everyone, it’s important to remember that men and women also process things differently, and at a different pace. Men and women experience, process, and show emotions not in the same way, because men and women are wired differently.
When you feel your guy is ignoring you, it’s natural to feel hurt by that. And you may find yourself expressing that hurt and getting emotional — very emotional, with big, overblown displays of emotion. Also, because you feel strongly about him, you want to show just how deeply you feel for him. While that may seem the best way, because being open with how we feel is important in any relationship, it may not be the best course of action at the moment, because your guy may get too overwhelmed and back away. Guys process feelings at a different speed. So being a little too upfront about your big feelings may scare them off.
The key is in this: Timing. It is, as they say, everything. Slow it down a little, tone down the showing of your emotions. That will give him space to think, to catch up, to really process where his head and his heart are at. And he’ll also begin to wonder why you’ve been giving him space and why you’re not being as showy with your feelings. Which will make him realize how much he wants you in his life. Backing off emotionally will make him come forward emotionally. Then eventually, you’ll be on the same page!
2. Ignore the tendency to overreact.
When we feel big emotions, we can’t help but sometimes lean towards overreactions. Again, that’s normal. Because of course when we feel so strongly or so deeply, then our emotions and reactions tend to be heightened and magnified. Now remember this: Feelings are valid. What you feel, how much you feel it, is valid.
Having said that, it’s also important to keep certain feelings at bay. We’re talking about the tendency to overreact. Because you get so consumed by what you’re feeling, there may be a need or an instinct to respond in a way that may be perceived as overreacting. Don’t shut down or deny yourself of your emotions, but at the same time, manage them wisely and as best as you can.
You have to keep in mind also that men and women think and operate differently. While women tend to obsess over the smallest things and ponder over the slightest details, men are less likely to have given those things much thought. So while you may already be going crazy because he didn’t put a smiley in his goodnight message, it may just be that he forgot and it wasn’t that important to him because the important thing was his wishing you a good night.
The same can be said about when you’re feeling ignored. He may be ignoring you at the moment, but the last thing you want to do is overreact to that. Don’t create drama out of this. That may make him think that avoiding you is the wise choice. Instead, play it cool. Sure, you can be honest and tell him that you don’t appreciate being ignored. But say it matter of factly, and without any drama. Then just shrug it off and let him be. This will make him see you as a woman who is real with her emotions but doesn’t overthink or overreact, which will make him more attracted to you. He’ll also start to wonder, Why does she seem okay with my being aloof? Why doesn’t she care? And this in turn will make him turn around and start chasing you more.
3. Cease ignoring your fabulous self, and he will cease ignoring you!
So you feel ignored. You feel like you’re being brushed off. What should you do? If your instinct is to be extra attentive to him and fawn all over him in the hopes that this will make him see what he’s missing and stop ignoring you, well we hate to break it to you, but that’s exactly what you should NOT do.
Because you feel he’s been ignoring you, then few times he shows you even the smallest amount of affection or attention can make you want to grab onto those slivers of emotion for dear life. You may want to accept that last minute invite, answer every infrequent call or text asap. But that’s not going to help at all. Being that accommodating and available will just make him feel its okay to ignore you most of the time because you’re just there at his beck and call.
No, what you should do is to ignore those instincts to always be ever available to him — and STOP ignoring yourself! It’s time to put yourself at the number one spot. You are a fabulous human being, with a full, interesting life and amazing relationships with family and friends. Appreciate that. Embrace that. And instead of wallowing in your desperation for his attention, immerse yourself completely in putting yourself first and living your life to the fullest!
This is the way to being happy with yourself and with your life, and not needing his attention to feel complete and full of joy. And this is also the way for him to truly see what an incredible woman you are, and how much he WANTS go be part of your awesome life and shower you with attention. He will desire to be someone that a strong, independent woman like you will find time to put in your busy schedule, and he will work for it!
4. Stop ignoring your real feelings too.
I understand how this one may seem confusing. After all, we’ve been discussing how the best way for someone who is ignoring you to turn back around and shower you with attention is to stop giving him attention and stop showering him with your emotions, so he will realize how much he wants to be the recipient of your affections. And yeah that is true. But like all things, the secret lies in the art of moderation.
If you are always, always ignoring him and being aloof towards him, then logically, this might make him start feeling that he’s just hitting a brick wall and he doesn’t have a chance. He might feel like there’s nothing there for him, and so he might lose hope and just step aside.
So while you shouldn’t be too generous with your attentions, especially when he’s been a little stingy with his, you also shouldn’t always hold back. Play the role of the busy, fabulous, independent woman who doesn’t need to beg for attention. But sometimes, soften up too and let him see glimmers of affection that you have for him as well. Show him that you’re interested. That you like him. That you care. Let him see that sweet, affectionate side of you too, every once in a while. This will make him desire to want to see more of that side of you, and thus, end up chasing after you more.
The magic word here is balance. Strike up the right balance of keeping yourself just within arm’s reach but not wrapped in his little finger. Make him feel that ignoring you isn’t what you deserve and not what he wants to do because what he wants is more of you. And show him that he does have a shot at your heart, it he plays his cards right.
5. Avoid ignoring your wants.
Sometimes, a way for a man to show that he is ignoring you is by taking complete control. He will ignore your wants, your wishes, your plans. He’ll make plans for himself and for both of you without taking into consideration what you want. And because you don’t want him to ignore you even more, you’ll just heed to his whims and disregard your own.
The only thing that will make him do is operate that way even more. So girl, time to stop with bowing down to his wishes and plans! Take charge, and make your own plans. Whether it be something you want the both of you to do, or something that you want to do on your own in your life, just do it. Mention it to him, tell him he’s welcome to come with you or join, but you’ll have a great time regardless. Do what you want, and have a blast.
This is a great way for him to see that you are self-sufficient and you don’t need him beside you to function or to be happy. This will make him see what interesting plans and wishes and goals you have — and make him want to be a part of it. It’s also a way to subtly make him feel ignored, because you are brushing off his plans and making your own. And it’s an effective way for him to want to chase after you more and take your wants into consideration even more!
6. Do not ignore the power of jealousy.
It’s been said time and time again: The menfolk are very competitive in nature. When they feel that jealousy or competition, that will fuel their desire to accept the challenge and be in it to win it.
Know what’s another thing that’s human nature, and not just to men but to women as well? Taking something for granted. We’ve all been guilty of that, not realizing the value of something that’s right in front of us. That’s why the saying “Don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone” is so often used in sad love songs.
So yeah, he may be ignoring you for one very basic reason: He’s taken you for granted. He may have become so sure that you’ll always be there, that you are his, that he figures it’s okay to ignore you because you’re not going anywhere anyway. Here’s where the power of jealousy and competition comes in. We’ve got three simple words for you: Spark his jealously!
Let him see you talking and engaging with other guys: A little light banter, some mild flirtation. Show him that no, your attentions are not undivided, and you are not someone to be taken for granted. Allow him to feel a little bit threatened by what he perceives to be competition. This will fire him up and make him realize just how much he wants you and how much he has to work for you and fight for you — and will make him step up so the best man (him!) can win.
A word of caution though: This tactic can be quite dangerous gif not done right. If you overdo it, it may send the wrong message and make him feel that your interests lie elsewhere and not with him. So again, balance is key. Operate wisely and with care, and just do enough to let him realize that he should not be taking you for granted and that he should be exerting his efforts towards keeping you!
7. Mirror, don’t ignore, his lead.
How ‘bout a little game of Follow The Leader? You know how it goes. Whatever the leader does, do the same. No questions, no drama, no forcing things to go your way.
Here’s how it goes. So he’s ignoring your texts? Ignore his texts. He’s not calling you? Don’t call him first. He’s not going out of his way to spend time with you or talk to you? Heck, stay away from him too. Don’t ask him why, why, why. Don’t be emotional. Don’t create drama. Don’t be super available in the hope that he will stop ignoring you. Don’t force what you want and beg that he stop ignoring you. Just don’t. Let it all go. Let it be. Follow his lead.
This will make him feel that he doesn’t have the upper hand with you. It will make him wonder why you seem to be so unbothered by his withholding attention. It’ll make him think long and hard about why you seem to be ignoring him. And it will make him realize just how much he wants to be with you, and ACT in a way that will make him deserving of you.
This is perhaps the most important of all, because it will remind you of one basic truth: It’s not worth it to invest in someone who doesn’t invest in you. So don’t give so much more than what he’s giving you. And step away when he’s not exerting more effort for you. He’s not worth it.
If, however, he really does have deep feelings for you, then mirroring him when he does the silly thing of ignoring you will make him see just how silly he’s been acting and stop doing it. It will make him feel in his heart of hearts that he really and truly wants to be with you and make you the center of his world. And will act accordingly, doing all he can to chase after you and win your heart.
Ignoring a guy that ignores you all comes down to one simple bottom line: For most men, the more you chase them and shower them with too much attention, the more they will back off and pull away. But when you ignore them and make them work for it, then they will work for it and chase after you! Being able to ignore a guy that ignores you whom you actually really like, and knowing the right way to go about it, can be very challenging. But with a little effort and patience and caution, this will help you get the right guy to win you over!