There is a world of difference between just doing the deed and making love. That’s not a big secret — and yet, many people seem to forget just how significant this difference is. Let us spell it out for you: Sex is something that is instinctive; it’s, as they say, biochemical, it’s a deed that every primal, red-blooded man and woman will know how to do. Making love is so much more than that. It is sensual, slow, not a means to an end, and it’s about connecting with your partner. Love making involves romance and emotion.
That’s probably why they refer to it as “the act of having sex” and “the art of making love”. Sex is an act, an instinct. Love making is an art, an exquisite dance. It’s not about self-gratification. Love making is something that gives the act of having sex more depth because it encourages the couple to connect – mind, soul, and body.
Love making starts way before the act of intercourse, and it ends much, much after that. And if done right, it can be pleasurable and exciting and mind-blowing in ways you can’t even begin to fathom each and every time.
So how can you reach the heavens of pleasure every time you make love with your partner? Well, these love making tips will definitely help to spice up your relationship. With these love making tips, each romp in the sack will bring you both to the throes of ecstasy and fill your bodies with absolute pleasure.
Love Making Tips For Her: Spice Things Up For Him
Every guy differs in his choices and tastes, but there are some things that are quite universal when it comes to intimacy and pleasure. Here are some love making tips to spice things up during your sexy times with your man.
1. Know yourself. Pleasure yourself
- It’s common and very old-fashioned to think that it is the man’s job, and only the man’s job, to turn a woman on. Quite the contrary, many men go crazy seeing their partners pleasuring themselves and getting themselves turned on, even before they start doing anything.
- Sex and intimacy is something that is enjoyable, but the moments leading up to it are equally as enjoyable. As a woman, it may be more pleasurable for you to have some time beforehand to get into the mood and get aroused. Your guy will be ready and willing to do that for you, but he will also absolutely love it if you sometimes took the initiative too!
- Knowing your body and knowing what arouses you will help you to take more pleasure from your intimate moments with him. You can close your eyes and start fantasizing about every single thing you want him to do to you and imagine that he is doing it all at that moment.
- You don’t have to tell your man about all the details of your fantasies while you are arousing yourself — just make sure he sees how your body is reacting and behaving and how pleasurable it all is for you.
2. Let the actual deed be fun
- When it comes to sex, most women tend to think only of the act itself and the pleasure it brings at the end. Fantasies are great, but in reality, things don’t always go as smoothly – and that’s ok! You and your man may try some positions and new things that may be awkward in the beginning or may take a little figuring out, and it may get uncomfortable for a while.
- The important thing is to have fun doing whatever it is you’re doing! Whether it be attempting new positions or working through a failed experiment, embrace those moments and let them bond you together even more. Laugh together, don’t take things too seriously, and this will all ease the tension and help you both relax and just have a blast.
- Laughing together and having fun will also help you be more comfortable with each other, and this comfort and ease will boost his confidence and his sexual performance.
3. Treat him to some hot visuals
- Men are very visual creatures. That’s a universal fact. Treating him to a visual extravaganza will totally up the hotness factor for him and excite him even more. Visual stimulation can be a very powerful medium to get him even more aroused and in the mood. If you treat him to more of that, honey, he’ll never stop begging for more.
- Guys love watching and seeing their partners aroused and in action, and they love seeing their partners getting stimulated because of them. There are a ton of ways for you to treat him to some hot visuals, but remember that it all depends on your comfort zone.
- Making sure that you are enjoying yourself is key to providing him with visual stimulation because it is that genuine enjoyment and pleasure that will reflect on your face and body.
- A few visual goodies you can treat him to: Touch yourself, play with yourself while maintaining eye contact with him. Make noises to show your pleasure, move your body, guide yourself to reach climax – whether on your own or with him joining you.
4. Fondle him. Stroke him
- Guys absolutely love it when their partners’ stroke and fondle and caress and play with them. Make good use of your hand, touch him when he loves to be touched, explore his pleasure spots. Show his manhood, authority, and firmness.
- Lubricants can also make things even more pleasurable, like massage oils or those that are meant for intimate moments.
- With the lubricant, rub your palms together and then place one hand on the base of his manhood. Use the other to move up and down. Use gentle and firm motions, as well as twisting and circular strokes.
- Stroke the tip of his manhood with your palm and go down and up and back again. If this is within your comfort zone, you may choose to go down on him during all of this for a mix of hand and oral pleasure.
5. Tie him up
- Again, this all comes down to comfort zones. If you are both comfortable, you can explore the use of ties for some control and submissive action. If this is something you are both down for, he will get excited and love it when you exert power and control in this way. But of course, make sure it’s not difficult for him to feel relaxed while tied up!
- If you’re both games, use comfy, silky, sensual ties such as a scarf or a tie, and use this to tie him to the bedpost — loosely. A pillow under his head will keep him all propped up so he has a better view of what you will be doing to him.
- Keep in mind that the idea is to keep your man in place while you savor and explore and pleasure him in the manner you please. The ties themselves are symbolic and shouldn’t be too tight; just sexily remind him that he is not to move at all unless and until you say so.
- To up the ante and make things even more fun and spicy, you can choose to give him a (very sexy) punishment every time he disobeys and is a “bad boy”.
6. One word, three letters: WET
- Guys are turned on by the sensation of wetness on his turned-on body, so it can be a great idea for you and him to start things off in the shower.
- Get under the shower, turn on the nozzle, and kiss him sensuously as the water starts drizzling and flowing down your bodies. Put your arms around him and get on your tiptoes slowly, as you deepen the kiss.
- Lathering and soaping each other up just elevates and magnifies the sensations. Lather and soap his aroused body, or even better, do it to each other. You can even show him, teasingly, where you want him to soap you up.
- Kiss him as you soap and lather each other to turn up the heat even more, and for him to see how aroused, you are.
7. Dress your body naughtily
- We repeat: Men are visual creatures. A very quick and very sensuous way to arouse him is to dress up in naughty outfits for his viewing pleasure.
- While walking around the house oh so casually, like you’re not really putting much of an effort, strut your stuff in some kinky or lacy underwear.
- You can also opt for an oversized and loose white button-down shirt, leaving the buttons strategically open.
- If you are comfortable enough and want to amp things up, take it to another level by just doing away with the undies and just bask in the hotness of your birthday suit, with maybe a pair of sexy boots or heels.
8. Talk dirty, baby
- Dirty talk is something that, when done right, can absolutely drive him wild. It will totally turn him on like you wouldn’t believe.
- Dirty talk does not mean being abusive or stooping down to gutter-level language. When we say talk dirty, we mean using your sexiest voice and telling him, seductively, each and every sexy thing you want him to be doing to you and your body.
- You can also tease him and arouse him even more by telling him each and every sexy thing you want to be doing to him right here, right now.
Love Making Tips For Him: Spice Things Up For Her
Here are some love-making tips you can explore as you are getting intimate with your lady love to make sure her pleasure is sky high and have her crave for more.
1. Set the mood
- If there’s one thing you should know, it’s this: Your woman will be more aroused and will drown more in pleasure if you make an effort to set the mood for your sexy times with her.
- It all depends on what she prefers and how she desires to be pleased. Whatever her likes and her turn-ons are, set the perfect ambiance for your woman.
- You can pepper the house with scented candles. Dim the lights. Fill up the tub and put some rose petals and sensual batch salts. Stare deep into her eyes, cozy up to her, tell her just how ravishing she is, and then lean in for the kiss.
- To turn up the heat, even more, you can add some music. Having some sexy, sensuous beats in the background will help her get even more in the mood.
2. Play with her clothing
- In the heat of the moment, a lot of guys just rip off a woman’s clothes and get down to business. Are you one of those guys who think this is the most optimal way to please her? You may want to re-think that.
- Instead of quickly ridding her of her clothes, why not transform the act of undressing her into something that is very pleasurable for her? There are many, many things you can do with her clothing as you sensuously peel them off of her.
- As you begin to undress her, make it enticing and slow and teasing. Take that time to amp up the mood, giving her a taste of every single pleasurable thing that is coming her way. Let your fingers brush her skim gently, and let your lips graze her intimate spots.
- Play with the clothes on her body by removing some of them and leaving a few key things on her, like taking off her top and leaving her bra on. You can use your teeth as you teasingly open her buttons and give her a playful nip or two around her nipples or tummy as her top is unbuttoned. Before you move on to taking her bra off, why not touch her first over her bra until you feel her nipples getting hard, and then you can peel that off of her too.
- On the flip side, you can also ease her bottoms out from under her while keeping her panty on her. Caress and massage her gently with your fingers or even your tongue over her underwear until you feel her getting wet.
3. One word, eight letters: FOREPLAY
- When it comes to pleasuring a woman, there is nothing quite like foreplay.
- While some (or many) guys want to just get right in there and do it, a woman can be like an engine that needs to be revved up just right. That time you dedicate to giving a woman foreplay is time that she will savor and enjoy and turn her on until she just can’t wait anymore. It will also get her wet, which will make the act of sex even more pleasurable for her.
- Keep in mind that foreplay is not about being too rough or groping too tight. Though of course, if a little manhandling and roughness is something you both enjoy, you can move on to that as you go along!
- A few super sexy foreplay tips to try: A slow, sensuous massage. Teasing her by massaging her hips and nipples and by stroking and caressing her breasts. Touch her down there as you caress and massage and stroke to get her wet and ready.
4. Go to town, downtown
- Men, the ladies may not always verbalize it or spell it out, but once you go to town downtown and do it right, she will lose herself in the pleasure of it all and long for more.
- Try and explore some foreplay with her to lead up to going down on her. Start slow and sensual, making use of both your fingers and your tongue.
- Your lady may desire different things as you are going down on her — don’t hesitate to experiment and explore and see what it is she can’t get enough of and what makes your woman feel oh so good.
5. Tease to please
- Yes, when you are head over heels with desire, the carnal instinct is to just jump right into it. But why not tease her and please her leading up to the act? She will be writhing with ecstasy!
- Avoid leaving any gaps between when you go down on her and when you start intercourse. Don’t lose the moment and the build-up!
- As you start sexing her up, make sure to not get dirty and rough and hard and fast all at once, racing to the finish line. Rather, take things nice and slow and deep to prolong the pleasure.
- When going down on her, as you drive her almost to the point of climax, start having intercourse but again, take it slow. As she gets more in the mood and closer and closer to climax, pause, and then begin again. Repeat over and over until she goes wild and asks or begs or demands harder, faster sex.
6. Take charge
- Women love to take the reigns and be (ahem) on top of things. But they also love it when their man takes control. This is a great way for her to get even more turned on. Of course, by taking charge, we don’t mean to say that you should just disregard her wants and desires and just do what it is that you want.
- Rather, ensure that her pleasures and desires, and wants are on your mind as you show her you are dominating and taking control. Hold her in your arms, firmly and sensually, and turn her body in the way you desire as you fondle and play with her body. But as you are firm and in control, still remain gentle too and do not do anything that may hurt her.
- As you take charge, speak to her and tell her what you want and what she should and shouldn’t do while you are in control. For example, you may want to tell her to moan even more loudly as you see her reach climax.
Making love with your special someone is an intense and incredibly personal experience shared by the two of you. These love making tips will help you to spice things up and heat things up, and make the art of love making one that you and your partner will never get enough of — and connect you to each other as nothing else can.
Hey there, Martha here, a full-time mom of two, currently trying to bring a small impact in everyone’s life whom I can reach through The Queen Momma. I usually write on topics related to parenting, pregnancy and motherhood. Having gone through a few rocky relationships myself, I consider myself somewhat of an “expert” on topics related to dating and relationships.
I formerly worked at Special Needs Network Inc and BrightStar Care of Beverly Hills as a head manager. I have a passion for assisting organizations and individuals in achieving their objectives and have had the opportunity to do so throughout my professional career. At present, writing for The Queen Momma is a great addition to my professional career.