Marriage is a life-long commitment. And I mean commitment. You’re committing to share your life with another person forever.
Not only that, you’re committing to loving that person, taking care of that person, and doing all you can to make that person happy in your life together.
And though that sounds wonderful and amazing – and it truly is! – it can also be challenging.
At the beginning of a relationship, two people are drawn to each other. They want to be around each other, and get to know each other.
They want each other. As that deepens, they fall in love, they get married, and they choose to spend forever with each other.
Marriage is a beautiful, magical journey that two people in love choose to take together.
It’s a life-long adventure. And just like any adventure, it can be unpredictable and exciting. Just like any journey, it’s not always going to be smooth sailing.
As the years go by and life happens, marriages go through ups and downs. There will be times when you feel more in love than ever, and times when you just feel… apart.
And sometimes, things can get so rough and the distance may feel so huge between the two of you that you may feel your wife just doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
Making your wife happy and making her feel loved will make her feel more connected to you. It will strengthen your connection and your intimacy. It will keep the fire burning – or even rekindle it.
Joy, love, and intimacy are cornerstones of a good marriage. And making her feel loved and wanted will make her want you as strongly as she did in the beginning — if not more.
How To Make Your Wife Want You?
Husbands, read on for a woman’s perspective on how to keep the number one woman in your life and in your heart drawn to you, every day.
1. Focus on her
This may sound so simple, and actually it really is. Focus on your wife. Now, you may be thinking, But I already do that. The question is — Do you? Do you REALLY?
In this day and age of many, many distractions, it can be harder than you may realize to truly focus on the person you’re with.
When you are with your wife, make her feel that she is the only one in the room you want to turn your attention to.
Turn off the TV, peel your eyes off your computer, stay far away from your mobile phone. Now, look at her. Really look at her.
Talk to her, ask her questions and make her feel that you want to know her answers. Listen. Touch.
There are so many things going on every day, and so many things to think about and pay attention to. But that shouldn’t mean your wife and your relationship should be left on the wayside.
You may be sharing the same house, the same room, the same bed, but you can be together without actually being completely present. Now’s the time to change that, to go back to making her feel, once again, that she is the center of the universe — and there is nothing else you’d rather do than just to be with her.
2. Listen — and Respect What She has to Say
It’s understandable that when you love someone, when there’s something that’s weighing on them, you want to be able to find a solution and help them to solve the problem.
But while being Mr. Fix-It seems like a great idea because it shows how much you care, the truth is that a lot of the time, that’s not what is needed in moments of vulnerability.
You may be going on and on about steps to resolve what’s on her mind that you don’t realize that you’re not really listening anymore.
At a time when someone who will listen is exactly what she needs.
Show her how much you love her with how well you can listen. Don’t immediately scramble for solutions. Just listen — and let her feel that you are truly listening.
Be that someone that she can just unload on to, someone she can express her feelings and her fears and her anxieties to.
Let her know that she always has you to open up to, and that you will always take the time to listen and just be there for her, and that you respect how she feels and what she has to say.
And when she asks for advise, then Mr. Fix-It can come out and play — but always in a compassionate, understanding manner. Her feelings come first. The solutions can follow later on.
3. Notice her, and Get to Know all of her
What makes a person feel more connected to someone is when they see how that person just knows them so well.
That’s more true than ever when it comes to husband and wife.
And that’s something you have to make an effort to make her feel every day. Just because you’ve been together a while and are sharing a life together already doesn’t mean that you should stop noticing her and embracing every little thing about her.
And after all, as people, we are all always changing and evolving, so getting to know each other shouldn’t become stagnant either.
Drop her little comments about how her hair turns into a mix of colors in the sunlight, or how she loves sleeping on her right side.
Or how her brow crinkles the tiniest bit when she’s about to eat something new.
Always, the comments should express just how much you appreciate her — all of her, even the littlest things that she may feel nobody else ever notices. Let her feel how truly special she is to you.
4. Be the Man she Always Wants to be Around
Great relationships start from within. The better we are as people, the more others will want to be around us.
Now, yes you’re in a marriage so yes you’re committed to being around each other and being together.
But the key is in always WANTING to be around each other. So be the kind of person she’ll always want to be with.
Surround her with positivity and with joy. By that, we don’t mean faking happiness or turning into someone you are not.
Just be someone who always looks for and sees the good — most especially in your wife.
Make sure your words are kind, and that your actions are gentle. Don’t be rough or abrasive or always mouthing off negatively.
Yes, the world can sometimes not be as ideal as we’d like, and it’s important to always be honest and to communicate. Be open with her, but do so with kindness and with goodness.
She’ll be drawn more to you when she is reminded of what a good, amazing person you truly are.
Also, being positive fosters a positive environment, which is something we all want to be in.
5. Be Kind to the Outside World
Okay, so you may be a great man when you’re with her. You’re kind, you’re sensitive, you’re understanding… But then you go out into the world and you’re faced with other people and outside situations, and you may find yourself reacting in a less than positive manner.
I mean, sure, you might think, But I treat her well. But she will still notice how you are with others, and that may make how you are with her feel a little less real.
Treat others well and your value will go up higher in her eyes. Not only that, you’re perceived value will go up too.
The people around you will see what she sees in you, and she will feel even prouder than she already is to have you as her husband. And she will remember all the more why out of everyone in the world, she chose you.
6. Take Care of Yourself
Remember how when you first started seeing each other, you’d put in a lot of effort to groom yourself, plan out the evening, make sure that things go smoothly, and she doesn’t have to worry about anything?
You introduced her to a man who could take care of himself.
As the years went by and your relationship grew, you became more dependent on each other, because of course, you need each other, and making sure that you both feel needed by the other is important in a relationship.
But there is a difference between needed and neediness. Neediness, now that’s not attractive.
Your wife needs to feel that you need to be with her, but that you don’t need her to make every single decision or look after your grooming or health.
As your wife, she will still look after you and do things for you.
Appreciate that, but don’t be needy about those things.
Be the man you introduced her to all those years ago — the man who could take care of himself. This will make her feel that you can take care of her and your family too.
7. Care About her
And by this, I mean really and truly take care of her and care about her needs.
It’s easy to care on a surface level, but to really make an effort and take the time to address your partner’s needs, that’s a whole different ballgame. And that’s what a strong relationship should be about.
In truly caring about her, it’s not about asking her what she needs (although of course, communication is always important) — rather, it’s about looking into yourself and asking yourself what you can do for her.
What it is that you want to do so that she can be happier in her life. And then to want to do it for her. Not because you feel you have to or need to, but because you truly want to.
A woman will know when you are saying or doing things because you feel you have to, and when you really want to, for her.
It makes a huge difference when your wife feels that you are choosing to do something because you love her and you want her to be happy.
It makes her feel that you truly value her, and the relationship you have with her.
8. Celebrate her, and Value her
Your wife is the woman you want to share the rest of your life with. She is the one you want to wake up to in the morning, fall asleep next to at night. She’s the one you want to build a home with, and raise a family with. She’s your heart’s desire. Make her feel that, always.
Celebrate your wife — her achievements, the things she does, her beauty, her heart.
Let her know how happy you are to have her, and how much you really and truly value having her in your life. How completely and wholeheartedly you value her.
Give her compliments. Sincerely express your love and appreciation for her. Always make her feel loved. That will go a long way in keeping your relationship rock-solid, and the flame burning hot.
If you look closely at all of the ways I’ve listed, it all comes down to this one thing: To catch and keep a woman’s attention and love, shower her with attention and love.
As husband and wife, you already have a relationship that’s strong and founded on how you feel about each other and how much you love each other.
As you go through your journey together in life, it’s what you do and how you act that will make her want you, draw her closer to you every day, keep the two of you connected, and make your journey together full of joy, passion, and love.
Hey there, Martha here, a full-time mom of two, currently trying to bring a small impact in everyone’s life whom I can reach through The Queen Momma. I usually write on topics related to parenting, pregnancy and motherhood. Having gone through a few rocky relationships myself, I consider myself somewhat of an “expert” on topics related to dating and relationships.
I formerly worked at Special Needs Network Inc and BrightStar Care of Beverly Hills as a head manager. I have a passion for assisting organizations and individuals in achieving their objectives and have had the opportunity to do so throughout my professional career. At present, writing for The Queen Momma is a great addition to my professional career.