At times, we find ourselves coming across things that turn out to be total game-changers. A specific type of relationship called female led relationships or FLRs is shaking up the game when it comes to relationships.
Whether this is something you’ve heard of or it’s the type of relationship you’re in, or even if you’re encountering this term for the first time, the fact is that female-led relationships do exist. They’re changing the landscape of relationships as society has come to know it, taking what’s for so long been considered by many as the “norm” and turning it all upside down.
Though it’s hard to pinpoint a single definition, the one common thread is that a female-led relationship is one where the dynamic is unconventional! Where male dominance once prevailed, we’re now ushering in a new dawn of female empowerment.
Agree with it or not, female led relationships are very much real. It’s time to delve into what it is — and how to be in one if that’s what your heart desires!
Female Led Relationship: What It Is
As I said earlier, there is no one main definition of a female-led relationship. This is because there are many types, and as they call it, “levels.” But basically, a female-led relationship is one where the woman gets to be in charge. It’s where society considers traditional roles reversed, and the female has a more significant, more impactful role in the relationship. True enough, this type of relationship won’t agree with everyone. But when it works, it can be pretty awesome for those who choose to be in a relationship like this!
The FLR Rules
To better understand what a female-led relationship is, some rules can help define what FLRs are all about.
- When it comes to household decision-making, the female takes most if not all of the reigns. Her male partner can share his input and his thoughts, and she can consider it.
- Many of the financial decisions are also in the hands of the female. Her male partner trusts and respects her decisions and how she chooses to handle things.
- Household chores and tasks are spread between the female and the male, and the male may be the one handling chores like cleaning, cooking, and the like.
- With her strong position of authority, the female can choose to use that to guide or inspire her male partner to work on self-improvement, like removing vices such as excessive drinking and smoking.
- The female also takes charge of the social calendar, making decisions regarding the social gatherings and events to attend
The FLR Advantages
So you may be wondering what it is about female led relationships that draw people towards seeking to be in this type of couplehood? What about female led relationships attracts all that attention?
1. Why Women Favor FLRs
I think women are drawn to female led relationships because after being on the receiving end of unfair and unjust treatment for hundreds of years in male-dominated setups, they now can have a voice and be empowered in the relationship they are in. Here are some reasons women choose FLRs:
- In female-led relationships, women have a fair shot at decision-making as well as implementing changes in the relationship, their family, and their household as a whole
- It’s more empowering for women to have that authority to take charge of financial aspects, manage tasks and chores within the home, and make decisions about parenting and in the relationship
- Because women are on equal ground with their male partners if not on the higher footing, then there is less of a power struggle between the couple, which translates to less tension and stress and an overall more relaxed relationship
- Men are more open to motivation and guidance from their partners in female-led relationships, so women have more of a chance to inspire and mold them into their ideal partner
- With the absence of overpowering male dominance in female-led relationships, women may feel more loved, respected, and cared for by their partner and thus can lead to more love and affection
2. Why Men Favor FLRs
It’s easier to see why women may seek female-led relationships. It can be a little more puzzling for men because it may seem like giving up the authority and power that more traditional relationships give them. But actually, FLRs have a lot of benefits for men too. Here are some of them:
- Men appreciate the lack of tension and stress that female-led relationships have because both the man and woman have a say in the decision-making.
- For some men, being the sole or main breadwinner and main authority figure in the relationship isn’t their thing because of preference or personality, and are happy to take on more traditional female roles like cleaning, cooking, and the like
- Having that expectation of making all the big and hard decisions alone can be a huge weight on some men’s shoulders. They welcome sharing this responsibility with their partner and make for a more open, relaxed partnership.
- Unlike the olden days, men are now better equipped to understand their partner’s value as more of an equal. This allows them to appreciate fully and know their partners’ worth.
3. The Good In FLRs
Being in a female-led relationship has a lot of awesome perks and pros specific to each gender — and FLRs also bring many benefits to relationships as a whole that both men and women can appreciate.
Open communication. Traditional relationships aren’t big on communication and discussions since it’s more one-sided. Female-led relationships are all about transparency and understanding. There’s more open lines of communication between men and women, which makes for a stronger couplehood.
Less pressure. Society has long dictated traditional roles for men – sole decision-makers with everything relying on their choices, and women – submissive and quiet. But not everyone fits into the mold “assigned” to them, and being placed into those roles can bring a whole lot of pressure. With equal footing and shared responsibility and power in female-led relationships, both partners are freer to be who they are and are happier and more relaxed together.
Unconditional support and shared priorities. Because there is more respect, acceptance, and understanding for each other, both partners are able to give full support to each other. And their equal partnership leads to fewer power struggles and more shared priorities, which gives way to more family first decisions that make for a happier home filled with love.
Heightened intimacy. Both men and women feel safer and more valued in the relationship, which leads to a deeper connection and fosters a relationship filled with attentiveness, affection, and intimacy.
Female Led Relationship: The How-Tos
So you want to be in a female-led relationship? Well, we’re here to help you identify what makes for female led relationships so you can make conscious choices that will take you to the kind of couplehood you are longing for —- and how to make it work!
1. The Relationship: Know the types and which one you want
Male led relationships to follow a basic traditional blueprint of men wielding all the power and authority. But female-led relationships are more complex, with more layers that give way to varying levels. There are four main types of differing degrees, depending on which feels most comfortable for both partners.
2. Low-Key (Lower level FLR)
This is what’s considered the mildest FLR. Here, the man seeks the woman’s opinion and thoughts on a handful of matters, and she is free to give her input on these which are given bearing. The woman doesn’t really “lead” in the relationship. Still, she does have a bit more power than in a more traditional setup.
3. Moderate (Moderate level FLR)
Here, the woman’s authority is a little more present. In day to day matters, she may take the lead. But she sets boundaries as to how far she wields that authority. She may choose not to exercise it in certain aspects of the relationship. She may have the knowledge that she has a certain level of authority over her partner. Still, she may opt not to exercise it. But knowing that she does have that power can lead to more feelings of equality and security.
4. Formal (Higher level FLR)
In a formal FLR, the woman knows she has the power — and she likes it. It is more established that she has the authority in the relationship. The simplest way to define this is by saying that traditional roles are generally reversed. The woman is more the head of the household, the main breadwinner, and leads the family. This may also spill over to intimacy, wherein the woman exercises more dominance. The man is generally happy to take on the more “female” role, and the couple has a good, healthy relationship.
5. Extreme (Extreme FLR)
When we say female led relationship, we mean totally female-led. Here is an extreme FLR; the woman is the complete authority figure. She takes charge in every aspect of their relationship, their household, their family, even in her partner’s life. The woman treats the man as on lesser ground than she is, and he is fully submissive and controlled. This is not considered a healthy relationship.
6. Making It Work: How female-led relationships can work for you.
Female-led relationships are a bit more unconventional because they are not what’s been traditionally the norm ever since. So maintaining a happy FLR needs more effort. With a little work and a lot of love and commitment, you can rock a female-led relationship.
- Be transparent and communicate. Talk to each other about your feelings regarding your relationship set up — and listen to each other.
- Revisit and review. Things change, and what you want can change too. Revisit your relationship every so often and make sure you tell each other what you want.
- Embrace lines and know your roles. You and your partner both always have to be comfortable with the relationship you have. Understand and respect each other’s roles and boundaries.
- Don’t let other people define your relationship. People can have different opinions — but you and your partner are the ones in this together, so the only opinions that should matter are yours and your partner’s.
- Say no to abuse. Any relationship involves power, especially FLRs. Make sure there is no power being abused, and there is always respect.
- Love hard. FLRs are about roles and empowerment and valuing what each other brings to the relationship. But don’t forget that at the very heart of that relationship should be the love you have for each other.
Balance Is Key
Whatever kind of relationship you desire and choose to be in, it’s very, very essential that there is balance. That is very true when it comes to female-led relationships. So remember:
- Respect should always be present and given to each other.
- Both partners should always be a part of the big decisions regarding the relationship they choose to have.
- As the woman leads, she should always remember to encourage sharing and openness from her partner. And the man should always be open with how he feels.
No matter the type of relationship you have, the key is to have a strong, natural connection. Amidst the choices, the roles, the effort, and the giving way that comes with being part of a female-led relationship, you and your partner should always be connected and in tune. Every relationship has its challenges. But if female-led relationships are what’s right for you, you and your partner can look forward to a healthy, happy union that works — and works well for you both!
Hey there, Martha here, a full-time mom of two, currently trying to bring a small impact in everyone’s life whom I can reach through The Queen Momma. I usually write on topics related to parenting, pregnancy and motherhood. Having gone through a few rocky relationships myself, I consider myself somewhat of an “expert” on topics related to dating and relationships.
I formerly worked at Special Needs Network Inc and BrightStar Care of Beverly Hills as a head manager. I have a passion for assisting organizations and individuals in achieving their objectives and have had the opportunity to do so throughout my professional career. At present, writing for The Queen Momma is a great addition to my professional career.