50+ Conversation Starters for Couples That are Effective

Choosing the right conversation starter for any couple can be an incredible tool for nurturing their relationship. Effective communication helps you get to know various aspects of each other, leading to a thriving relationship. 

When you’re with the right partner, you sense obvious mutual signs. These include butterflies in the tummy, wanting to chat with each other, and intense excitement to see each other again. This could mean love, a liking, or infatuation is brewing. Yet, you’re always hopeful the road leads to real love.

Love is magical, and couples wish for it to be everlasting. By hitting the right conversations, you can ensure you’re in love for a longer time. Furthermore, you can take a mundane relationship to become magical again, all because of the quality conversations you had in getting there. 

Your relationship might be new or mature, yet the questions we’ve shortlisted are sure to start beautiful conversations. 

Listed below are several incredible conversation starter questions for couples. All of these are effective in strengthening the relationship. You need to choose the questions that are best suited for you and your partner in your existing relationship.  

60 Effective Conversation Starters For Couples

Every couple is at a different stage in their relationship. To help you choose the most relevant questions, we’ve grouped the questions into separate categories of conversations:

Conversation To Get To Know Each Other

conversation starters for couples

Whether you’re in a new relationship or working to strengthen an existing one, you must learn every bit about your partner. As an outcome, you will learn if you’re a good match and what you can do to become a better couple. 

1. What is your ideal holiday?

Is it pristine beaches, a ski-resort, a cruise, a camping trip, or something else? Find out if there are travel interests you have in common with him. 

2. What things make you the happiest?

Let each other know what makes you happy. To you, it may be a romantic dinner date, flowers on your birthday, or late-night drives. To him, it could be a ball game, a movie outing, or going for a walk in the park.  

3. What’s your biggest turn off-in a person?

You don’t want your partner to exude specific attributes that you may deem are major turn-offs: lacking a sense of humor, dishonesty, secretive behavior, and being lazy. Let each other know what turns you off, and work on your respective attributes.

4. What turns you on?

As a woman, assertiveness, emotional presence, equality, and curiosity might be what turn you on. He may get turned on by your beauty, cooking, adventurous side, and appealing character. Find out each other’s turn-on triggers ASAP! 

5. What are your pet peeves?

Finding out about each other’s dislikes is an incredible way of ensuring you don’t end up annoying each other during the relationship. 

6. Who is your favorite musician?

A conversation that starts with a simple question can lead to unexpected heights. Talking about your favorite musician, one moment could lead both of you to be on the dance floor the next.   

7. What is the name of your favorite movie?

Who knew a mention of ‘Moulin Rouge’ could end up spicing up your relationship with immediate effect. Communication is magical in more ways than one!

8. Who is your favorite actor, and why?

From Jim Carey’s comic timing to Meryl Streep’s versatility, your favorite actor’s name reveals a lot about attributes you admire in a person. Therefore, this is a pretty useful conversation starter for couples.

9. Who is your biggest idol?

Yours might be a family member, while he might state a historical leader. Find out what traits fascinate your partner the most. 

10. What is your dream career?

Finding out each other’s dream career is a great conversation starter. You learn about each other’s ambitions and level of focus in life. 

11. Which animal best describes your personality?

Describe an animal with words you’d use for a description of yourself. For instance, you are a glamorous and breathtaking Persian cat. At the same time, he may be a macho and courageous Lion (keeper for sure).

12. What do you love most about yourself?

This being another great question to ask someone you recently started dating. It allows them to reveal their strong points. Be wary of braggers on overdrive! 

13. Which is your favorite season?

If he likes them all (Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter), you’re in for uninterrupted fun. Otherwise, it would be fun to discover if you have a liking for the same season. 

14. What makes you ferocious?

When you’re working towards establishing a strong bond, you’ll do everything except what makes your partner extremely angry. Finding out, in the beginning, is the most effective way of avoiding rubbing your partner the wrong way.

15. What’s been your life’s biggest struggle thus far?

In life, the struggle can be in any area — financial, health, family, or relationships — yet the biggest ones are never forgotten. Learning about how your partner dealt with a major struggle and how much they succeeded in overcoming it indicates their level of maturity. 

16. What do you like doing for fun?

Going on a Picnic, cooking together, couples massage, and singing karaoke are all fun activities. Perhaps you’ll hit some common ground on this one. Won’t that be fun?

17. What relaxes you the most?

It could be soothing music, a nice massage, soaking in a warm bubbly bath, meditation, or gazing at the stars. Find out, and do some relaxing together!

18. What are your favorite Clothing & accessory brands?

Finding out each other’s brand preferences in advance makes gift searching, for birthdays and special occasions, less cumbersome and more gratifying. 

19. What’s been the weirdest date you’ve ever been out on?

This is a lighthearted and subjective question. The topic is sure to make the atmosphere jovial during the conversation. 

20. Do you have any bad habits? If yes, what are they?

Your answer could be smoking, drinking, substance abuse, farting in public, or anything worse. Be ready to expect any answer from this open-ended conversation starter. Be honest and help each other overcome the bad habits best of your ability.

Conversation To Understand Each Others Deeper Needs

conversation starters for couples

Sometimes what matters to you is a deeper connection. To find out each other’s deeper needs, you need to be asking one of these conversation starter questions.

21. What’s your take on life after death?

Talking about belief in an afterlife, reincarnation, and karma concept makes for an exciting conversation that breaks the monotony in a relationship. Go for it! 

22. Where do you see yourself five years from today?

Gauge each other’s goal orientation by asking this question. In case your partner’s vision is blurred about their career, family & marriage plans, relocation, or another aspect, you could help them focus. 

23. Do you believe in any social cause? If yes, which one and why?

There are lots of causes related to climate change, poverty, civil rights, gender inequality, and many other globally trending issues. Such topics make for some pretty good conversations. Let each other know your deeper thoughts about the well-being of society and the world at large.

24. Do you feel you have a purpose in life? What is it?

This is a great conversation starter. It lets you know your partner’s more in-depth plans — the long term purpose in life — as they grow old. You’ll find out what your partner’s staunch beliefs are and how much these are in line with your purpose. 

25. When was the last time you broke out in tears? What happened?

Only a very heartfelt comment, event, or action could cause you to break down emotionally. Whether those were tears of happiness or sadness, it helps to talk about each other’s emotional trigger points.

26. What’s your take on love at first sight?

It’s magical when you see someone for the first time and feel a euphoric relaxation as your body shakes with excitement — love, at first sight, is real — and you have butterflies in your stomach. 

27. What has been your biggest strength In our relationship?

You should know which of your partner’s unique strengths are most responsible for enhancing the relationship. For instance, one of you embodies patience while the other exudes compassion. 

28. What’s missing in your life?

Find out what’s missing in your significant other’s life — something big or small — and help them achieve it. Make it happen for your significant other!

29. Have you faced any insecurity in a past relationship or this one?

This is an excellent way of finding out each other’s most profound thoughts, needs, and desires. Subsequently, work together on the insecurities to overcome them. 

30. What is it that you just won’t forgive?

Cheating, lying, or not remembering your birthday (or anniversary). Some things are just flat out unforgivable. Night to you may be a day to him. Find out each other’s red flags before it’s too late.

Conversation To Build-up The Relationship For The Long-term

conversation starters for couples

These are the top questions for couples that are focused on building a healthy relationship. It’s about working together to resolve any differences, with the view towards building a long-term companionship.

 31. What could we do to make our relationship stronger?

Have a child, date often, frequent holidays, or spend more time without technology. Make a big change or a series of small ones to make the bond stronger. 

32. What’s our number one strength as a couple?

You both might agree a common strength has brought you this far as a couple. Recognize the common forces and never let go! 

33. Where should our relationship be 5 years from now?

Each of you can have an independent career focus. Yet, conflicting geographic, family, and living arrangement plans can hamper your medium to long term aspirations. Work towards a common purpose, as a couple, instead of independently.

34. What scares you most in our relationship?

Is it the thought of separation? Is it financial instability? Is it losing sexual interest? The good news is that couples who talk about these factors in advance often chart out a prevention plan. That way, the spice in their relationship has only one way to go – that’s up!

35. How should we keep the romance alive in our relationship?

Great solutions include: joining a gym to be more fit, talking dirty with each other, watch porn together, go on frequent vacations, or give each other cute pet names. Talk about all this and be as creative as you can. No one’s stopping you! 

36. How much space should we give each other?

You may not be into hanging out with your girlfriends, yet he may look forward to the weekly outing to the bar with his pals. It’s healthy for a relationship if you give each other space. 

37. What’s my best physical feature according to you?

If you love his six-pack abs, tell him now. Do it before he forms a new habit like gobbling beer! Similarly, if your Persian cat eyes turn him on, consider replacing your glasses with contacts ASAP!.  

38. Where should we plan our next couple’s vacation?

Don’t wait till the day before Christmas or Spring break to plan your trip. If you say Miami and he says the Alps, it’s fine. Chart out both Christmas and Spring plans so that you can enjoy each other’s desired destination.

39. How different do you perceive your life being had we never met?

The contribution of your significant other has given your life a new meaning. This question allows the chance to pour out praises and appreciation for one another. 

40. What’s factor contributes the most to making a relationship successful?

It’s different for everyone, and views change with time. It’s always healthy to discover each other’s point of view from time to time. Popularly the factors include mutual trust, pleasure in bed, having kids, or a combination of all that. Some couples want everlasting love and nothing more. 

Fun Conversation To Get The Date On A Roll

conversation starters for couples

These emerge from lighthearted questions you don’t need to think twice about. There’s no better conversation starter than these questions, especially when your date is the silent type.

41.What’s your favorite color?

Red usually spices up the atmosphere! It would be fun to see what your significant other says.

42. Do you like ice cream with fries?

What about pineapple as a pizza topping for an answer!

43. What type of class would you like to sign up for as a couple?

Couples massage, ballroom dancing, and conflict management are all sure to stir interest and bring smiles.

44. What word do you hate the most?

This one is always full of surprises. It helps you start your date with much-needed humor. How’s “juicy” for an answer?

45. Tell me about your first kiss?

We seldom forget the best moments of our lives. The first-ever kiss is one of those moments you’ll always remember vividly and hate not to talk about. 

46. What’s your favorite cuisine?

Chinese? Mexican? Italian? Or, maybe he loves everything, and you want to try everything he has. It would be fun to find out and indulge.

47. What’s your weirdest talent?

Imagine how much fun it would be to hear him talk backward, or if you showed him your slow-motion — Baywatch type — walk! These are common examples. Talents can be weirder. Do pop the question for a fun convo!

48. Which cartoon character do I have the closest resemblance with?

You’d hope he’d say one over the other about you. Yet, it would be interesting to note whether he’s content with you comparing him with ‘Dumbo.’ That’s what makes this a fun question!

49. What’s your favorite pet animal?

Be ready to be agreeable, surprised, or even shocked! Nevertheless, it would be fun and exciting to learn why a particular answer was given.

50. What’s been your wackiest dream till now?

Be honest! You’re sure to tickle each other’s funny bones. We are not in control of our dreams, especially not the wacky ones. Hence, don’t take it seriously if his answer is scary sounding.

Conversation To Spice Up Your Sex Life

conversation starters for couples

A sex life that is enjoyable and fulfilling is an important part of a relationship. Each of you has certain expectations, and it’s important to talk about them.

51. Have you ever dreamt about me? Describe the dream?

When you’re in love with someone, you may start seeing them in your dreams. You can tell each other what went on in the dream. Perhaps it was a steamy bed scene you dreamt of. You may end up wanting to make each other’s dreams come true. 

52. How much importance do you give sex in a relationship?

It’s a polite way of figuring out if the sexual aspect of your relationship is being fulfilled. If it isn’t, talk to each other about what more you can do to bring it up. 

53. Is there anything specific you would like me to do to spice things up in bed?

Up until now, either or both of you might have been too shy to state what you enjoy. Now’s the chance to boldly make those kinky requests and get the scene afloat.

54. What are some crazy places where you’ve had sex?

Those so-called strange places can be a lot of fun — leaving aside the roller coaster — try the bathroom, the sofa, or the back seat of a car (no one should look)!

55. Do you love to cuddle?

Besides, with stuffed animals or your pet dog, that is!

Conversation About Having Kids

conversation starters for couples

A couple may have conflicting views when it comes to having kids. Before having a child, each of you needs to be on the same page when it comes to views about whether to have a child, when to time the first child, and how you want to raise the children.

56. Do you want to have kids one day? How many? 

Once your relationship has matured, it’s time to start conversing more practically about the future. If you’re now married, then this is even more relevant. Determine if you’re on the same page or the likelihood of getting there.

57. Do you feel having kids will change our lives and our relationship? How?

It would be interesting to note each partner’s take on the recourse and how much they’re looking forward to it. 

58. What makes a couple good at parenting?

Meeting your children’s proper schooling and material needs aren’t the only factors that make you incredible parents. For more effective parenting, it’s important to think about creating a fruitful environment at home and with your relatives as well. 

59. Is it important for a couple to focus on their kids over themselves? Why?

This conversation should reveal how the health of the couple’s relationship has the ability to impact their children’s personality and future.

60. According to you, what is the right age to have a child? Why?

Wanting a child one day, yet delaying having one to a point you can’t bear children anymore, can be devastating. Communication with your partner and a professional regarding this topic can prove to be highly beneficial to couples.


We’ve listed questions that serve as some of the best conversation starters for couples. You must choose wisely from among the questions depending on where you currently stand in your relationship.

In a new relationship, start with questions that help you get to know each other. Also, it’s not wise to straight away jump to questions that talk about spicing up your sex life in a new relationship.

Similarly, the fun category questions should be asked when you need a conversation to get the ball rolling where your partner is the silent type.

If your relationship is maturing to different heights, build it up further to sustain it in the long-term. Finally, it’s essential to spice up your sex life and even talk about having kids whenever time demands it. Remember, timing is key!

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