418 Funny And Hilarious Jokes For Kids to Make Them Laugh

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Is there anything more beautiful than to see a baby laugh?

Well, to me, there isn’t. I love to see my toddler laugh, and I love the sound of it.

To me, it is one of the best sounds in the world. And I can do anything to make my daughter laugh or to see her happy.

Do you have the same feeling when you see your kid laugh? Then why not make them laugh more often by sharing some funny jokes?

Kids love jokes. You can tell them jokes to make them have a good laughing session. And if they learn it, they can also use it to make others laugh! Wouldn’t it be awesome?

So, to let you have a happy time with your kiddo, I have come up with some hilarious jokes to make kids laugh.

All you have to do is share it with your little ones!

Bonus Read: 117 Silly Spring Jokes For Kids And Adults

Hilarious Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Hilarious Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Let’s make your kids laugh today. What say?

Random Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Following are some funny jokes to make your kids’ day!

Q: How does a cucumber become a pickle?

A: It goes through a jarring experience.

Q: What did one toilet say to the other?

A: You look a bit flushed.

Q: Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon?

A: Because she will “let it go, let it go

Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you?

A: Act like a nut.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A: A stick.

Q: Where would you find an elephant?

A: The same place you lost her.

Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A: A tuba toothpaste.

Q: What do you call a dog magician?

A: labracadabrador.

Q: What time is it when the clock strikes 13?

A: Time to get a new clock.

Q: Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

A: Because she wanted to go to high school.

Q: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

A: Thunderwear.

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A: Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

Q: Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?

A: Dill with it.

Q: What do you think of that new diner on the moon?

A: The food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.

Q: What did one volcano say to the other?

A: I lava you.

Q: What animal is always at a baseball game?

A: A bat.

Q: What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?

A: A coconut on vacation.

Q: What do you call two birds in love?

A: Tweethearts

Q: What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

A: That hit the spot.

Q: How does a scientist freshen her breath?

A: With experi-mints.

Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?

A: Snow.

Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?

A: Twister.

Q: How are false teeth like stars?

A: They come out at night.

Q: How do you talk to a giant?

A: Use big words.

Q: What building in your town has the most stories?

A: The public library.

Q: How does the moon cut his hair?

A: Eclipse it.

Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A: Finding half a worm.

Q: How do we know that the ocean is friendly?

A: It waves.

Q: What is a computer’s favorite snack?

A: Computer chips.

Q: Why did the student eat his homework?

A: Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?

A: Between us, something smells.

Q: When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?

A: Because when you find it, you stop looking.

Q: What kind of water can’t freeze?

A: Hot water.

Q: What has ears but cannot hear?

A: A cornfield.

Q: What did one plate say to the other plate?

A: Dinner is on me.

Q: What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

A: R2 detour.

Q: Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

A: Because she was stuffed.

Q: Why did the kid cross the playground?

A: To get to the other slide.

Q: What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

A: A rocket chip.

Q: Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

A: Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.

Q: What did the little corn say to the mama corn?

A: Where is pop corn?

Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

A: Because he felt crummy.

Q: What did the limestone say to the geologist?

A: Don’t take me for granite.

Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?

A: Because her mom and dad were in a jam.

Q: How do you make a lemon drop?

A: Just let it fall.

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A: A dino-snore.

Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A: A palm tree.

Bonus Read: 107 Hilarious Kids Joke That Will Make Your Little One Laugh

Funny Birthday Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Funny Birthday Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Birthday jokes are so much fun!

Q: What do cakes and baseball teams have in common?

A: They both need a good batter.

Q: What does every birthday end with?

A: The letter Y.

Q: Why did the little girl hit her birthday cake with a hammer?

A: It was a pound cake.

Q: What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday?

A: Hoppy Birthday.

Q: Does a green candle burn longer than a pink one?

A: No, they both burn shorter.

Q: What’s the one thing you will get every year on your birthday, guaranteed?

A: A year older.

Q: Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer?

A: She wanted to ice it.

Q: Why do candles always go on the top of cakes?

A: Because it’s hard to light them from the bottom.

Q: What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?

A: It’s roar birthday.

Q: What goes up but never comes down?

A: Your age.

Bonus Read: 262 Hilarious Disney Jokes For Kids And Adults

Yo Mama Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Yo Mama Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Have fun with some Yo Mama jokes!

·  Yo Mama so short she has to hold a sign up that says, “Don’t spit, I can’t swim.”

·  Yo Mama so small her best friend is an ant.

·  Yo Mama so old she rode dinosaurs to school.

·  Yo Mama so old God signed her yearbook.

·  Yo Mama so old her memory is in black and white.

·  Yo Mama so small she has to slam-dunk her bus fare.

Funny Animals Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Funny Animals Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Most kids love animals. Don’t they? Here are some jokes about animals for them!

Q: Why don’t elephants chew gum?

A: They do, just not in public.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?

A: A bull-dozer.

Q: What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?

A: A milk dud.

Q: Why are fish so smart?

A: Because they live in schools.

Q: What is a cat’s favorite color?

A: Purrr-ple.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?

A: The North Poll

Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?

A: An udder failure.

Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

A: Ouch!

Q: What did the banana say to the dog?

A: Bananas can’t talk.

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?

A: Spoiled milk.

Q: How do you fit more pigs on a farm?

A: Build a sty-scraper.

Q: Why do fish live in salt water?

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze.

Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?

A: With ten-tickles.

Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?

A: She was a little horse.

Q: What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?

A: One is a cat copy; the other is a copy cat.

Q: What was the first animal in space?

A: The cow that jumped over the moon.

Q: What cat likes living in water?

A: An octo-puss.

Q: Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?

A: To the mew-seum.

Q: What’s a cat’s favorite magazine?

A: A cat-alogue.

Q: What did the cat say when he fell off the table?

A: “Me-ow.”

Q: What kind of kitten works for the Red Cross?

A: A first-aid kit.

Q: What do you get when you cross a ball and a cat?

A: A fur ball.

Q: Why are cats good at video games?

A: Because they have nine lives.

Q: What song does a cat like best?

A: Three Blind Mice.

Q: Why did the snake cross the road?

A: To get to the other ssside.

Funny Halloween Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Funny Halloween Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Halloween is so much fun! Check these jokes on Halloween out!

Q: What does a panda ghost eat?

A: Bam-BOO!

Q: What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts?

A: A Pharaoh Roche.

Q: Where does a mummy go on vacation?

A: The Dead Sea.

Q: What kind of horse do ghosts ride?

A: A night-mare

Q: What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume?

A: Ryan Gauzeling

Q: Why don’t mummies take time off?

A: They’re afraid to unwind.

Q: How do mummies tell their future?

A: They read their horror-scope.

Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite play?

A: Romeo and Ghoul-iet.

Q: Why couldn’t the mummy go to school with the witch?

A: He couldn’t spell.

Q: How do you know you’ve been ghosted?

A: The poltergeist doesn’t text you back.

Q: Why don’t mummies have friends?

A: Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.

Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?

A: I-Scream!

Q: What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween?

A: Wrap music.

Q: What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?

A: Get a broom!

Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?

A: He wanted to get ahead in life.

Q: Why did the ghost starch his sheet?

A: He wanted everyone scared stiff.

Q: How do ghosts send letters?

A: Through the ghost office.

Q: Why did the ghost quit studying?

A: Because he was too ghoul for school.

Q: What does a ghost mom say when she gets in the car?

A: Fasten your sheet-belts.

Q: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?

A: It didn’t have a haunting license.

Q: What room does a ghost not need in a house?

A: A living room.

Q: Why do ghosts go on diets?

A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures

Q: How do you know when a ghost is sad?

A: He starts boo hooing.

Q: Where does a ghost go on vacation?

A: Mali-boo.

Q: Where do ghosts buy their food?

A: At the ghost-ery store!

Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar?

A: For the Boos.

Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

A: Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!

Q: What is in a ghost’s nose?

A: Boo-gers.

Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?

A: On blood vessels.

Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

A: Because he was coffin too much.

Q: What’s the problem with twin witches?

A: You never know which witch is which.

Q: Why did the pumpkin take a detour?

A: To avoid a seedy part of town.

Q: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

A: Squash.

Q: What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?

A: Ma-scare-a.

Q: Why was the gourd so gossipy?

A: To give ’em pumpkin to talk about.

Q: What happened to the witch who flew her broom while angry?

A: She flew off the handle.

Q: Why was the jack-o’-lantern scared?

A: Because it had no guts.

Q: Why did the witch take a nap?

A: She needed to rest a spell.

Q: What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?

A: Your teeth.

Q: What do witches get when their shoes are too tight?

A: Candy corns.

Q: How do you mend a jack-o’-lantern?

A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: How does a witch style her hair?

A: With scare spray.

Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?

A: Pulp fiction.

Q: What kind of medicine do witches use on their warts?

A: I don’t know, but it’s not working.

Q: Why was Cinderella bad at football?

A: Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.

Q: What do you call a witch with a rash?

A: An itchy-witchy.

Q: What kind of art do skeletons like?

A: Skulltures.

Q: How did the witch get around when her broomstick broke?

A: She witch-hiked.

Q: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?

A: All the jelly has been sucked out of

Q: What do you call two witches who live together?

A: Broom-mates!

Skeleton Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Skeleton Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

 Do you have kids who are scared of skeletons?

These jokes about skeletons can make them forget about their fear!

Q: What’s a skeleton’s favorite song?

A: “Bad to the Bone.”

Q: What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?

A: Spelling.

Q: Where does a skeleton go for a fun night?

A: Anywhere, as long as it’s a hip joint.

Q: What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach?

A: A sand-witch!

Q: Do you know any skeleton jokes?

A: Yes, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.

Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?

A: A broom closet.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the scary movie?

A: He didn’t have the guts.

Q: What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?

A: A trom-bone.

Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?

A: Because nothing gets under their skin.

Q: Where did the skeleton keep his money?

A: In the crypt-o market.

Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?

A: Vein-illa.

Q: Why did the skeleton start a fight?

A: Because he had a bone to pick.

Q: Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?

A: They have no body to love.

Q: Why can’t skeletons play church music?

A: Because they have no organs.

Q: Why are vampires bad at art?

A: They are only able to draw blood.

Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

A: No body.

Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?

A: Neck-tarines.

Q: What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?

A: A numb-skull.

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

A: Frostbite.

Q: What do skeletons order at a restaurant?

A: Spare ribs.

Q: What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?

A: A grave problem.

Q: Why did the vampire read the newspaper?

A: He heard it had great circulation.

Q: What do you call a cleaning skeleton?

A: The grim sweeper.

Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?

A: It’s a pain in the neck.

Q: Why do vampires not want to become investment bankers?

A: They hate stakeholders.

Q: Why did the jack-o-lantern fail out of school?

A: Someone scooped his brains out.

Q: How do gourds grow big and strong?

A: Pumpkin iron.

Q: What did the pumpkin say to its carver?

A: Cut it out!

Q: What does a carved pumpkin celebrate?

A: Hollow-een.

Q: Who helped the little pumpkin cross the road?

A: The crossing gourd.

Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite Western?

A: The Gourd, the Bad, and the Ugly

Q: Why aren’t zombies ever arrested?

A: They can’t be captured alive.

Q: What was the chicken ghost’s name?

A: Poultrygeist.

Q: How many cannibals does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: I don’t know, but you really shouldn’t be in the dark with a cannibal.

Q: Why was the cemetery chosen to be the perfect location to write a movie?

A: Because it had great plots.

Q: Where does a pumpkin preach?

A: From the pulp-it.

Q: How do vampires start their letters?

A: Tomb it may concern.

Q: Why don’t werewolves ever know the time?

A: Because they’re not whenwolves.

Q: How do you get rid of demons?

A: Exorcise a lot.

Q: Who’s the scariest bodybuilder of all time?

A: Dr. Frankenstein.

Q: Why are graveyards so noisy?

A: Because of all the coffins.

Q: What do dentists hand out at Halloween?

A: Candy. It’s good for business.

Q: What is a zombie sleepover called?

A: Mass grave.

Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?

A: Neck-tarines.

Q: What kind of bread do zombies like?

A: Whole brain.

Q: Why don’t I like Dracula?

A: He’s a pain in the neck.

Q: How do you know if a zombie likes someone?

A: They ask for seconds.

Q: I would make a skeleton joke but didn’t. Why?

A: You wouldn’t find it very humerus.

Q: I dropped my pumpkin yesterday. Jack-o-lantern?

A: More like crack-o-lantern!

Jokes on Zombies for Kids

Jokes on Zombies for Kids

Kids are scared of zombies, no doubt. So, how about helping them take zombies on a lighter note?

Tell them the following jokes!

Q: What do you call a movie about zombies finding true love?

A: A zom-com.

Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?

A: Mali-boo.

Q: What’s a zombie’s favorite treat?

A: You might guess brain food, but it’s actually eye candy.

Q: What sea do zombies swim in?

A: The dead sea.

Q: What do vegetarian zombies eat?

A: Graaaains!

Q: Why don’t zombies like pirates?

A: They’re too salty.

Q: Why don’t zombies eat popcorn with their hands?

A: They eat their hands separately.

Q: What’s a zombie’s favorite cheese?

A: Zom-brie.

Q: What’s a zombie’s favorite weather?

A: Cloudy, with a chance of brain.

Q: Where do zombies live?

A: On a dead-end street.

Q: Why did the zombie become a mortician?

A: To put food on the table.

Q: What brand of shampoo do zombies use?

A: Head and Shoulders.

Q: What do you call zombies in pajamas?

A: The sleepwalking dead.

Q: Knock Knock? Who’s there?

A: Eddie! Eddie who? Eddie body home? It’s Halloween!

Q: Knock Knock? Who’s there?

A: Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry; it’s only Halloween.

Q: Knock Knock? Who’s there?

A: Ice cream! Ice Cream, who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!

Q: Knock Knock? Who’s there?

A: Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip, my bag with candy!

Q: Knock Knock? Who’s there?

A: Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you has my candy?

Q: Knock Knock? Who’s there?

A: Ivana! Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood!

Q: Knock, Knock? Who’s there?

A: Figs! Figs who? Figs your doorbell so I can stop knocking!

Q: Knock Knock? Who’s there?

A: Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad it’s Halloween?

Bonus Read: 4 Fun Halloween Trivia for Kids

Math Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Math Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

It’s time for some math jokes!

Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?

A: “You’re pointless.”

Q: Why did the obtuse angle jump in the pool?

A: Because it was over 90 degrees.

Q: What do you call more than one L?

A: A parallel.

Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree?

A: Geometry.

Q: Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very hard?

A: Because they always knew x was 10.

Q: Have you heard the joke about the statistician?

A: Probably.

Q: What do you call a tea kettle boiling at the top of Mount Everest?

A: A high-pot-in-use.

Q: How can you make time fly?

A: Throw a clock out a window.

Q: Why do mathematicians like parks?

A: Because of all the natural logs.

Q: Why did the two fours skip lunch?

A: They are already eight.

Q: What do parabola infants drink?

A: Quadratic formula.

Q: Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with his friend the dime?

A: Because it had more cents.

Q: What do you call the guy who spent the summer at the beach?

A: A tan-gent.

Q: What do you call a hen who counts her own eggs?

A: A mathema-chicken.

Q: Why can’t you trust a math teacher?

A: They’re always calculating.

Q: What’s two plus two?

A: A math problem, silly.

Q: What’s the best way to get a math tutor?

A: An add.

Q: Did you know that there are three kinds of people in the world?

A: People who can count and people who can’t.

Q: Why can’t your nose grow to be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot.

Q: Who’s in charge of the school supplies?

A: The ruler.

Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite place in NYC?

A: Times Square.

Q: Why was math class so long?

A: The teacher kept going off on a tangent.

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?

A: Because seven, eight, nine.

Q: Did you hear about the over-educated circle?

A: It has 360 degrees.

Q: Which numbers just won’t sit still?

A: Roamin’ numerals.

Q: Why should you never trust someone writing on graph paper?

A: Because they’re probably plotting something.

Q: How can you solve any equation fast?

A: Multiply both sides by 0.

Q: Why are obtuse angles always so sad?

A: They’re never right.

Q: Do you know who invented algebra?

A: An x-pert.

Q: Are monsters good at math?

A: Not unless you Count Dracula.

Q: What do you call a group of dudes who love math?

A: Alge-bros.

Q: Why does algebra improve your dancing skills?

A: Because you can use algo-rhythm.

Q: What did the calculator say to the student?

A: You can always count on me.

Q: Are you cold?

A: Well, then go to the corner of the room where it’s 90 degrees.

Q: What’s the best tool to do math?

A: Multi-pliers.

Q: Why did the student trust his abacus?

A: He knew he could always count on it.

Q: Why shouldn’t you fight with a 90-degree angle?

A: It’s always right.

Q: Why is 69 so scared of 70?

A: Because they fought — and 71.

Q: Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school today?

A: Because she sprained her angle.

Q: Why did seven eat nine?

A: Because you’re supposed to eat three squared meals every day.

Q: What’s the best way to get a math teacher to like you?

A: Use an acute angle.

Q: Why do teens always travel in groups of three or five?

A: Because they can’t even.

Q: Why was the triangle the MVP of the basketball team?

A: It always made three-pointers.

Q: Where should you do your math homework?

A: On a multiplication table.

Q: Why couldn’t the angel get a loan?

A: Because his parents wouldn’t cosine.

Q: Do you know what seems odd to me?

A: Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.

Q: Hey, Algebra, stop trying to find your x.

A: He’s never coming back… don’t ask y.

Q: Why did the student wear glasses in math class?

A: To improve di-vision.

Q: Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?

A: They’ll never meet.

Q: Why was the fraction fretting about marrying a decimal?

A: Because she would have to convert.

Jokes on Numbers for Kids

Jokes on Numbers for Kids

Do your kids, not like math? How about helping them play with numbers with the following jokes?

Q: Three statisticians were out hunting when they spotted an elk.

A: The first statistician took aim but overshot. The second aimed and undershot. The third yelled, “We got him!”

Q: What happens when you put a root beer in a square glass?

A: It just becomes beer.

Q: What do you call people who are in favor of tractors?

A: Pro-tractors.

Q: Why should you never speak the number 288?

A: It’s two gross.

Q: Why should you never fight with decimals?

A: They always have a point.

Q: What happens when you hire an odd-job helper to do 8 jobs?

A: He only does 1, 3, 5, and 7.

Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

A: He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Q: What did the 0 say to the 8?

A: Nice belt.

Q: Why doesn’t anybody talk to circles?

A: Because there’s no point.

Q: How do you make seven an even number?

A: Remove the “s”.

Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite season?

A: Sum-mer.

Q: How do mathematicians reprimand their kids?

A: “If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times!”

Q: Why was the math book sad?

A: Because it had so many problems.

Q: Is it true that old mathematicians never die?

A: Yes, they just lose some of their functions.

Q: Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?

A: Just cos.

Q: What do you need to grow your trigonometry skills?

A: Square roots.

Q: Why don’t math majors throw house parties?

A: Because it’s dangerous to drink and derive.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

A: To get to the same side.

Q: Where do math majors party?

A: In bar graphs.

Q: What did the witch doctor say after lifting the curse?

A: Hexagon.

Q: Why do plants hate math?

A: Because it gives them square roots.

Q: Why was the equal sign so humble?

A: Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.

Q: Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing a river?

A: It was three feet deep on average.

Q: What is the butterfly’s favorite subject in school?

A: Moth-ematics.

Q: Which weighs more: 16 ounces of water or a pound of solid gold?

A: They both weigh the same.

Q: How are a dollar and the moon alike?

A: They both have four quarters.

Q: What do you call the number seven and the number three who got married?

A: The odd couple.

Q: Why was the student upset when his teacher called him average?

A: It was a mean thing to say.

Pirate Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Pirate Jokes to Make Kids Laugh

Do your kids like to see pirate movies? Then they will love these jokes too!

Q: What kind of ship do pirates find it hard to maintain?

A: Relationship!

Q: Where do pirates park their ships?

A: In the harrrrrrbor

Q: Where do pirates go for the bathroom?

A: The poop-deck!

Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?

A: Because they will just wash up on the shore later

Q: What grades did the pirates get in school?

A: High Cs

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite country?

A: AAARRRGHentina!

Q: How do the pirates know that they are pirates?

A: They think so. Therefore they ARRRR!

Q: What is the worst thing about cleaning a pirate ship?

A: The barrrrrrnacles

Q: What will you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?

A: A rookie

Q: Which gym did the pirate visit?

A: The Gold’s Gym

Q: Why do pirates give away eye patches on Halloween?

A: Because iPads arrrrr too expensive!

Q: What did the pirate say when his leg got stuck in the freezer?

A: “Shiver me timber!”

Q: What did the pirate get when he hit the skeleton?

A: A skull and the CROSS bones!

Q: How do pirates prefer to communicate?

A: Aye to aye! (Eye to eye)

Q: Why did the pirate go for a vacation?

A: He needed a little arrr and arrr.

Q: What did the pirate do the day before Halloween?

A: Mow his front yarrrrrd!

Q: How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheap?

A: He bought it on sail.

Q: How does a pirate, who wears a patch, say “Yes” to the captain?

A: “Eye Eye, captain.”

Q: What was the name of the pirate’s spotted dog?

A: Patches

Q: Which restaurant do pirates love the most?

A: The Harrrrrrd Rock Cafe

Q: Where did the pirate put his Halloween decoration?

A: In his front yarrrrrd!

Q: How do you know if a doctor is dressed up as a pirate?

A: He says AED a lot!

Q: Where do pirates put their cars while they’re sailing?

A: A parrrrrking lot

Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?

A: It just waved, saying nothing.

Q: Where do pirates keep their valuables?

A: In a jarrrr

Q: Why didn’t the pirate eat candy on Halloween?

A: He was on a low Carrrrrrb diet!

Q: What was the pirate’s favorite U.S. state?

A: Arrrrkansas

Q: What was the pirate’s favorite mode of land transportation?

A: Carrrrrrr

Q: What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?

A: “Aye matey (I’m eighty) years old!”

Q: How will you make a pirate furious?

A: Just take away the “p

Q: Why do pirates like killing zombies so much?

A: They are easy tarrrrrrgets!

Q: What soda do pirates’ always drink?

A: Arrrrrr Sea cola (RC Cola)

Q: Where do pirates buy pencils and sketch pads?

A: The arrrrrrt store.

Q: What do pirates do for fun?

A: Have parrrrrrties

Q: What did the pirate’s parrot say when it fell in love with a duck?

A: Polly wants a ‘quacker.’

Q: Which subjects does a pirate enjoy the most in school?

A: He enjoys ‘Aaarrrrttt.’

Q: Why didn’t the pirate get hungry on the desert island?

A: Because of the sand-which is there!

Q: Why did the pirate like playing golf?

A: He was always under parrrrr.

Q: How do you save a drowning pirate?

A: With C P ARRRRR.

Q: How much does a pirate pay for his piercings?

A: A buck-an-ear

Q: What did the pirate penguin say to the parrot?

A: Nothing – penguins don’t speak parrot!

Q: What does a pirate eat for breakfast?

A: Captain Crunch

Q: What do pirates put on their toast?

A: Jelly Roger!

Q: What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?

A: One has a rumbling tummy, and the other a tumbling rummy.

Q: Why do Pirates hang out in groups and drink on Halloween?

A: Coz they love to paarrrrrrty!

Q: What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?

A: 8 pirates

Q: How do pirates make their money?

A: By hook or by crook

Q: What does a gourmet pirate add to the plate to make it look nice?

A: A Garrrrr-nish

Q: What are pirates afraid of?

A: The darrrrrk!

Hilarious Jokes On Pirates

Pirate language is super fun, and you can’t deny that, right?

The following jokes are proof!

Q: What’s a pirate’s least favorite veggie?

A: Leeks!

Q: Why did the pirate go to college?

A: To become an arrrrrchitect!

Q: What shivers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A nervous wreck

Q: Why did the pirate go to the Apple store?

A: He needed a new ipatch.

Q: Why does it take the pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

A: Because they spend years at C

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite Halloween noise maker?

A: A parrrrty popper!

Q: What do pirates do on Black Friday?

A: Shop the sails

Q: What was the pirate’s favorite food?

A: Arrrrrtichokes!

Q: Where do Pirates get their wooden legs from?

A: From a Carrrrrpenter!

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?

A: The plank!

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?

A: The hook shot

Q: I have never heard any funny pirate jokes, have you?

A: Well, neither have ayyyeee.

Q: What did the pirate say during the winter storm?

A: Thar she snows!

Q: Why did the pirate give up playing golf?

A: Because he kept hooking the ball!

Q: What are a pirate’s favorite letters?

A: Arrrr (R) and C (sea)

Q: What type of socks do pirates wear?

A: Arrrrgyle!

Q: What is a pirate’s favorite doll?

A: Baaaaarrrrrrbie!

Q: Why didn’t the pirate go to the movies?

A: Because it was rated Aaaargh.

Q: What do you call a pirate’s painting?

A: Pirate’s painted piracy!

Q: Where do pirates go for a drink?

A: At the sandbar

Q: Which Star Wars character do pirates like the most?

A: Aarrrrggh-2-D-2

Q: What did the pirate get when he crossed a cat with a parrot?

A: A carrot!

Q: What did the pirate say to his girlfriend?

A: “You are perfect just the way you Arrrrr!”

Q: What do you call a foolish pirate?

A: The pillage fool

Q: Why does the pirate carry his sword?

A: Because swords can’t walk

Q: How do the pirates stop computer hackers?

A: He installed a patch.

Q: What has 12 legs, 12 arms, and 12 eyes?

A: A dozen pirates

Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?

A: Because he was sitting on the deck!

Q: What did the pirate say when he made a mistake?

A: To arrrr is pirate

Q: Who was the first pirate?

A: Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.

Q: Where do pirates put their trash?

A: The Garrrrrbage can

Q: Why did the shipwrecked pirate call his friend?

A: Because he trusted his friend-ship.

Q: Why was the pirate digging at the beach?

A: To bury the hatchet!

Q: Which Halloween candy do pirates like the most?

A: Sweet Tarrrrrts.

Q: What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?

A: A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.

Q: Why do Pirates cry on their own?

A: Because they have private tears

Q: What did the pirate get when he crossed a centipede and a parrot?

A: A walkie-talkie!

Q: What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school?

A: Captain Hooky!

Q: What did the pirate say to the sumo wrestler?

A: You sure arrrrr fat.

Q: What do pirates order at Italian restaurants?

A: Chicken Parrrrrmesan with spaghetti

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of food?

A: BARRRR-B-Q!

Q: What bank is a pirate’s favorite bank?

A: The sandbank

Q: Why don’t pirates go trick-or-treating on Halloween?

A: They arrrrr afraid of witches.

Q: Why are pirates great singers?

A: They can hit the high Cs!

Q: What do you get when you cross a pirate’s parrot and a shark?

A: A bird that talks your ear off!

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a song?

A: The hook!

Q: Which baseball team did the pirate play for?

A: The Pittsburgh Pirates

Q: What did the pirate wear on Halloween?

A: A pumpkin patch

Q: Why do pirates make great lawyers?

A: Because they’re very skilled at arrrrrguing

Funny Pirate Jokes for Kids

Funny Pirate Jokes for Kids

Here are some more pirate jokes to make your kids’ day!

Q: Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?

A: Right where ya left him

Q: Which side of a pirate’s parrot has the prettiest feathers?

A: The outside!

Q: What did one pirate say to the other?

A: “I sea you!”

Q: What did a pirate pay for his corn?

A: A buccaneer!

Q: Why did the pirate go to acting school?

A: He wanted a parrrrrt in the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

Q: What’s orange and sounds like a pirate’s parrot?

A: A carrot!

Q: What was the pirate’s girlfriend called?

A: Peggy!

Q: Why were the pirate’s friends with Donkey Kong?

A: Because he was a barrrrel of fun

Q: What happens when one pirate sees another pirate?

A: Pira-See!

Q: What was the pirate’s parrot’s favorite game?

A: Hide and speak

Q: On Halloween, where did all the pirates park their ships?

A: In the harrrrrbor!

Q: Which Pokemon could also be a pirate?

A: Arrrrrr-bok

Q: Which instrument do pirates love?

A: The guitaaarrrrr.

Q: What do pirates eat on cold winter nights?

A: Hearrrrrty stews

Q: Why can’t you take a picture of a pirate with a wooden leg?

A: Because a wooden leg doesn’t take pictures!

Q: What did the pirate’s first mate send down the stream?

A: The Captain’s log

Q: Why is pirating so addictive?

A: They say, “Once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.”

Q: What’s a pirate’s worst enemy?

A: Termites

Q: What do you call a pirate with two arms and two legs?

A: A not-a-pirate!

Q: Why did the caged pirate dress up as a lawyer?

A: To pass through the barrrrs!

Q: What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?

A: He got marooned.

Q: How did one pirate greet another pirate?

A: “Hiii-est!”

Q: What would you call a pirate with four eyes?

A: An iiiirate

Q: Why do people find it very hard to call a pirate?

A: Because he always leaves his phone off the hook

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish?

A: Swordfish

Q: What do you say when a pirate steals during a storm?

A: Plunder and Lightning

Q: Why did the pirate cross the road?

A: To get to the second-hand shop

Q: What does the captain keep up his sleeve?

A: His armie

Q: What is a pirate’s favorite color?

A: Gold!

Q: What type of apple do pirates always look for?

A: Jonagold!

Q: Why do pirates love Thanksgiving?

A: They get to carrrrrve the turkey.

Q: How does a pirate get to the top of the building?

A: He takes the elevataaarrrrr!

Q: Why did the pirate move to Russia?

A: To become a Czaaarrrrr

Q: What is a pirate’s hairstyle called?

A: A crew cut!

Bonus Read: 213 Funny Pirate Sayings (Talk Like A Pirate Quotes)

Why are Jokes Important for Kids?

Why are Jokes Important for Kids

Did I tell you that jokes are actually important for kids?

Well, yes! When kids hear and tell jokes – from social to psychological – kids get benefitted in so many ways.

And who can ignore how the sound of a kid’s laugh can calm your senses, isn’t it?

So, how can your kids benefit from jokes?

Come, let’s find out!

It Makes Your Kids More Socially Interactive

Now, you can’t ignore how important social interaction has become, especially in this age, where each one of us is busy in our own lives. As a result, we find it difficult to make some extra time out of our busy schedules.

And when we do, we want to get the most out of it. Isn’t it?

We want to have fun, laugh, and make the time memorable. The same goes for your kids too!

They are busy with studies and other extra-curricular activities. And they barely get time for themselves. But when they do, they usually sit in front of their PC and play games.

You know, things can change if you spend some time with them, tell them jokes and make them laugh.

Because when your kids learn jokes, they want to show them off to their friends or others whom they just met.

This enhances their social interaction skills. They become more interactive. Also, they start having more patience as they wait for others to answer their jokes. And last but not least, they can make people laugh!

Isn’t that a quality that you would love to have in your child?

Well, I definitely, would!

And did I tell you that your kids become great conversation starters?

Your Kids Get Better at Handling Stress

Haven’t you heard that laughter is a therapy?

Well, it truly is!

Because when you are dealing with something stressful or anxious, a good laughing session can make you feel better. Don’t you agree?

The same goes for your kids. When they hear or learn jokes, it makes them forget about the thing that is giving them stress or anxiety.

They laugh their heart out. And this helps in relieving their stress or whatever negative feelings they have.

You can say that jokes have the ability to distract kids from negative emotions.

And when your kids have a good sense of humor, they can see things from a whole new perspective. They develop empathy.

And did I tell you that jokes help kids to become great problem solvers?

Your Kids Get Better at Reading

Do your kids, not like reading? Are you looking for a way to make them at least read, no matter what kind of book it is?

Hand them a book of jokes! Trust me. It works.

When I was a kid, I had the same issue. I liked to listen to stories but never read them myself. I don’t know how my parents came up with the idea of giving me to read jokes, but it worked!

I became a bookworm. And I still am.

You know, laughter is contagious. When you see or hear someone laugh, you laugh too. So, once your kids start reading joke books, they will be totally into it.

They will be able to laugh themselves and make their friends laugh. And who doesn’t want to be the star of their friends’ group by making everyone in it laugh?

Your Kids Become Better at Vocabulary

Do you want your kids to be better when it comes to verbal skills?

Tell them jokes!

Yes, jokes are a fun way to make your kids learn new words and their meanings. They have a greater stock of words when it comes to expressing something.

When it comes to communicating with someone, your kids will be superb at it. They will make use of their stock of jokes, make people laugh, and make new friends.

And did I tell you that jokes make your kids good at spelling too?

Your Kids Have Good Mental Health

What do you do when you are having a bad day? Doesn’t it feel great when someone makes you laugh? Don’t you feel better?

So, now you know how laughter can make things better. Isn’t it?

If your kids are feeling low or having a tough time, you can always share some jokes to cheer them up.

After all, laughter can make them forget their pain for a while.

It Lets Your Kids Have a Wonderful Family Time

Now, you can’t ignore how important family time is, right?

It is undoubtedly wonderful when the entire family sits together, talks about what’s going on in their lives, and has a hearty conversation. And when you share jokes, it becomes all the more fun and cherish-worthy.

Kids or infants have a tendency to copy the adults in the family. For example, I have a one-year-old daughter. Whenever I share jokes with my family and everyone laughs, she laughs too.

She is so little that she doesn’t understand half the words we are saying. But still, she laughs. It feels so good that I can’t express it in words. 

Laughing with your kids and family kind of creates a special bond, you know.

Conclusion

How was your time with your kids? Did the jokes to make kids laugh work its magic?

Let me know in the comments!

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