210 + Funny Christmas Jokes for Kids and Adults

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With Christmas only a few weeks away, can you hear the Christmas bells already?

Well, I can! And so, I am getting all ready for the holiday season.

Christmas is the occasion for merriment. It is the biggest celebration time for most of us. We do a lot of things during this time, and we get super busy.

The buying of gifts for your friends and family, making Christmas dinner, your home’s decorations, and your favorite Christmas tree – we never get tired of doing all these.

Do you know what I think the best part of Christmas is?

It is the time that you get to spend with the people close to your heart.

You are busy with your work, meetings, household chores, and whatnot throughout the year, and you hardly get time to sit with your family.

But it is the holiday season that makes you put aside all your office or business work and make memories with your kids and family.

Don’t you think you should make the most out of this time? So, how are you planning to spend your Christmas?

I have the perfect plan for you!

Why not arrange a get-together with your favorite people and share some funny Christmas jokes with them?

I bet you will love to see your family and friends laugh their hearts out hearing your silly jokes about the holiday season.

After all, it is Christmas, and you ought to make your kids and family smile!

Bonus Read: 30 Fun Things to Do on Christmas Eve and Day: Must Read!

Christmas Jokes for Kids

Christmas Jokes for Kids

The holiday season is a time of joy and merriment, and one of the best ways to spread the cheer is through laughter! this section is just for your kiddo!

Your kid is the star of your life, and you can’t imagine a party without them, especially if that is on the eve of Christmas.

If that is your case, then you are already happy with this section. Am I right?

Here are some silly jokes that you can share with your little ones to make them giggle and laugh out loud. And I know hearing their laugh will be enough to make your day or night!

Why is it so cold at Christmas? 

Because it’s in Decembrrrrrr.

What does the gingerbread man put on his bed?

Cookie sheets!

Where does a snowman keep his money? 

In a snow bank!

In what year does New Year’s Day come before Christmas? 

EVERY year!

What does a snowman eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!

What do you get when Santa becomes a detective?

Santa CLUES!

Why did the turkey join the band?

Because he had the drum sticks!

What do you call a reindeer who wears earmuffs? 

Anything you want because he can’t hear you!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? 

Frostbite!

What kind of photos do elves take? 

Elfies!

Why did Rudolph have a bad grade on his report card?

Because he went down in history!

What do snowmen like most about school?

Snow and tell!

What is an elf’s favorite candy?

Orna-mints!

How does a sheep say Merry Christmas? 

“Fleece Navidad!”

What did Santa say at the start of the race?

“Ready, set, ho ho ho!”

Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?

He was feeling crummy.

What does an elf study in school?

The elfabet.

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

Why did the little boy bring his Christmas tree to the hair salon?

It needed a little trim.

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?

Jungle bells!

Dad Christmas Jokes

Dad Christmas Jokes

Can you even think of a joke session without some dad jokes?

Well, dad jokes are classic! Not everyone likes it every time. But all like to hear a few, if you know what I mean.

I have a love-hate relationship with dad jokes. Sometimes, I find them funny, but sometimes I just don’t get them.

But if you are having a meal together on Christmas eve and you are having a session of witty jokes, dad jokes have to be on your list. Because without it, your jokes session will seem incomplete.

Do you know why not everyone likes dad jokes?

That is because not everyone gets them!

So, here is the thing.

Include this section of jokes in your entire list only if you have a witty audience. Because if they don’t get it, what’s the point of sharing? Isn’t it?

After all, you are here to make your people laugh. Right!

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claus-trophobia!

 What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band? 

The Who!

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?

He got 25 days!

How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?

He was hooked on trees his whole life.

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

Santa Jaws!

Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?

Because he had very low elf esteem.

A book never written

How to Decorate a Tree, by Orna Ment.

What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?

Hits a gnome and runs.

What do fish sing during the holidays?

Christmas corals.

What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?

Ornamints.

What did Santa do when he went speed dating?

He pulled a cracker!

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll!

Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?

His wife was a total flake.

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

A Christmas Quacker!

Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?

Because every single buck is dear to him!

What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? 

Santa walking backwards!

What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?

Crisp Pringles.

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?

He was picking his nose!

Why do mummies like Christmas so much?

They’re into all the wrapping.

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?

Nothing. It was in the house!

What is the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?

Nurse them back to elf.

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps!

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It’s Christmas, Eve!

What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?

Anything you want. He can’t hear you!

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite!

What do you call a blind reindeer?

I have no eye deer.

Also Read:- Popular Christmas Songs Lyrics for Christmas 2022

Funny Christmas Teens Jokes

Funny Christmas Teens Jokes

The teenage years are the best, at least for some people. I had one of the best times as a teenager, too.

This is the time when you experience so many firsts. You have your first crush, your first kiss, your first relationship, and for some, your first breakup.

You experience tons of emotions, tons of adrenaline rush, and whatnot.

And all these lead to some of the funniest, silliest and naughtiest teenage jokes. We are here for that, as this section is all about hilarious teen jokes about the holiday season.

Let’s dive right in!

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

Rude-olph.

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?

Stick with me, and we’ll go places!

How is Christmas exactly like your job?

You do all the work, and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.

Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?

Because they were two deer!

What do you call a scary-looking reindeer?

A cari-boo.

What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? 

The One Show!

What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke? 

This one’s gonna sleigh you!

What do you call Santa’s little helpers? 

Subordinate clauses.

Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital? 

Because he has private elf care!

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? 

The Christmas alphabet has No-el.es

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?

Their days are numbered!

How do you know when Santa’s around? 

You can always sense his presents.

How did Scrooge win the football game?

The ghost of Christmas passed!

What do you call an elf that can sing and dance?

Elfis.

What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas? 

Cross-mouse cards!

Where does Santa keep all his money? 

At the local snow bank.

What do you call a broke Santa? 

Saint Nickel-less

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? 

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?

Nice gnawing you!

Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas? 

Because they’re shell-fish.

Read More About: 99 + Best Christmas Riddles for Kids and Adults

Santa Clause Jokes

Santa Clause Jokes

Have you ever imagined how Christmas would be if there were no Santa Claus?

Hard to imagine. Right?

I grew up listening to stories about Santa Claus: How he has a workshop where he makes toys for good children with the help of elves, how he rides the sleigh that reindeer draw, and how he enters our houses to give those gifts during Christmas.

And since then, I have become a fan of this older man with a long white beard and a red hat, carrying gifts for kids.

Now, do you know how there are numerous jokes available about Santa Claus?

Well, there are a lot.

Can you tell me why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital?

Because he has private elf care!

Did you get the joke here?

This is just one example of my collection of jokes on Santa Claus. Read the following to know about the others.

What’s Santa’s favorite fruit?

(Sugar)plums.

How did Santa respond when Mrs. Claus told him he had forgotten something from the store?

 But I checked the shopping list twice!

Who automatically gets added to the naughty list?

A rebel without a claus.

Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill?

Jack Frost.

Who’s Santa’s favorite singer?

Elfish Presley.

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as she looked up at the sky?

Looks like rain, dear.

How do Santa’s clothes stay so clean?

He washes them with (Yule)Tide.

What is Santa’s dog’s name?

Santa Paws.

Why are elves such great motivational speakers?

They have plenty of elf-confidence.

Why couldn’t Santa have cereal in the morning?

All of his bowls were filled with jelly.

What kind of drink does Santa give to naughty girls and boys?

Coal-a.

What was wrong with the Grinch on Christmas?

He was feeling claus-trophobic.

 When Santa doesn’t want to do something, what does he say? 

Snow thanks!

What’s the difference between a knight and Santa Claus?

One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh.

How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance?

Present!

Why is the alphabet in the North Pole different than the normal alphabet?

The North Pole’s alphabet has noel.

When someone delivers a package to Santa, what do they do?

Ring the (jingle) bell.

What breakfast do Santa and his wife like to eat together?

 Mistle-toast.

What does Santa say on the night of Christmas?

Time to hit the sack!

What’s Santa’s go-to doughnut order?

A jolly-filled doughnut.

What do Santa’s elves use to help them walk in the slippery snow?

Candy canes.

Why was Santa having money problems?

He was nickel-less.

What does Mrs. Claus sing to Santa on his birthday?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

Does Santa believe in fate?

Yep, he thinks whatever happens is (orna)meant to be.

What would Santa be called if he went down a chimney with the fire going?

Crisp Kringle.

Bonus Read: 10 BEST Christmas Gift Ideas That Kids Definitely Wish to Have

Christmas Tree Jokes

Christmas Tree Jokes

Do you know what one of my favorite things about Christmas is?

It is decorating the Christmas tree!

Yes, I like lights and how you can decorate a tree with that and other things to make it the center point of your Christmas decoration.

There are tons of jokes about Christmas trees that you may come across. Here, I have come up with a collection of the best of them.

Do you know what did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?

Nice gnawing you!

For more funny jokes on your favorite Christmas tree, keep reading!

Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?

Wood-row Wilson

What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties?

Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow…

What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather? 

Its shadow.

What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed? 

It started his own branch.

How do Christmas trees get their email? 

They log-on.

Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? 

It needed a root canal!

What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm?

May the forest be with you!

How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? 

They signed a peace tree-ty!

How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? 

They spruce up!

What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape? 

A treeangle!

What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? 

Orna-mints!

Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?

Because the present’s beneath them.

What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree?

Christmas chopping!

Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?

They have too many needles.

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? 

You get tinsel-it is.

Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer?

Spruce Springsteen.

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?

Nice gnawing you!

What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?

A pineapple!

What did one Christmas tree say to another? 

Lighten up!

What month does a Christmas tree hate the most?

Sep-timber! 

Christmas Knock Knock Jokes

Christmas Knock Knock Jokes

I have said in many of my articles earlier how I love knock-knock jokes. They are downright hilarious.

Do you know what the best thing that I like about knock-knock jokes is?

They are perfect for sharing will people of all ages. They are so simple yet so funny that even kids get them. And they love them too.

Another reason why kids like these jokes are because they come in rhyme format. This makes it easy for the kids to remember them and share them with their friends.

Of course, not all knock-knock jokes are meant for kids. You can find some that are meant especially for adults.

Choose the jokes according to your audience. For example, if you have kids with you, it would be better to stick to the ones they can understand.

Because if you share any adult knock knock jokes and your kids ask you the meaning, you don’t want to embarrass yourself. Right?

Knock Knock

Who’s ther

Angel

Angel who?

Angel on top of my Christmas tree.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

 Avery

 Avery who?

 Avery merry Christmas to you.

Knock knoc

Who’s there?

Atch

Atch who?

Bless you.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Ant.

Ant who?

Antartic is at the South Pole.

Knock knock

Aurora.

Aurora who?

Aurora’s just come from the abominable snowman.

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Candy.

Candy who?

Candy canes hanging on the tree.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Cole.

Cole who?

Cole is not what I want in my stocking this year.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Candy.

Candy who?

Candy canes hanging on the tree.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Doughnut

Doughnut who?

Doughnut open gifts until Christmas Day.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Dewey.

Dewey who?

Dewey know how long it is until Santa gets here?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Dishes.

Dishes who?

Dish is a nice place to put a Christmas wreath.

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Elf.

Elf who?

Elfant likes peanuts for Christmas.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Eve.

Eve who?

Christmas Eve.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Freeze.

Freeze who?

Freeze a jolly good fellow. Freeze a jolly good fellow.

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Gladys.

Gladys who?

Gladys Christmas. How about you?

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Ginger.

Ginger who?

Gingebread man.

Knock, knock

Who’s there? 

Honda.

Honda who?

Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me.

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Holly.

Holly who?

Holly up and let me in.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Howard.

Howard who?

Howard you like to sing Christmas carols with me?

Knock. Knock.

Who’s there?

Hanna.

Hanna who?

Hanna partridge in a pear tree.

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Holly.

Holly who?

Holly-days are here again.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Ho.

Ho who?

Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Iona. 

Iona who?

Iona Christmas ornament.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there? 

 Ice

Ice who?

Ice the Christmas cookies.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Isabell.

Isabell who?

Is a jingle bell ringing?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Ima.

Ima who?

Ima excited for Christmas!

Punny Christmas Jokes

Punny Christmas Jokes

Do you have a really witty family? Do all the members of your family understand double-meaning lines?

Then, you will love this section of jokes for sure.

Christmas dinner is all about happiness, laughter, and of course, good food and drink. And when you add some humor to this entire session with your punny Christmas jokes, know that you are doing it all right!

Puns are always in vogue. And why won’t they be? They make you laugh, after all.

So, share the following puns about the holiday season with your close circle, and all you can hear are their laughter!

What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense?

Wait, there’s myrrh.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? 

Frostbite.

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claus-trophobia!

What do you call Santa when he stops moving?

Santa Pause.

What do snowmen eat for dessert?

Ice crispies.

How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit?

Nurse them back to elf.

What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s workshop?

A rebel without a Claus!

What do you call a reindeer ghost?

Cari-boo!

What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?

A meltdown.

Why are elves such great motivational speakers?

They have plenty of elf-confidence.

Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much?

She sleighs.

What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers?

Truth or deer.

What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle?

It must have reindeer.

What does Rudolph want for Christmas?

A Pony sleigh station.

What is Santa’s dog’s name? 

Santa Paws!

Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee?

Star-bucks!

What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?

Wrap!

What’s the absolute best Christmas present?

A broken drum — you can’t beat it!

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?

You get tinsel-it is.

What do Santa’s elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

Rude-olph.

What do grapes sing at Christmas?

‘Tis the season to be jelly.

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?

A cookie sheet!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Ice Crispies.

Also Read: 120 Fun Christmas Trivia Questions With Answers for Kids & Adults

Dirty Christmas Jokes

Dirty Christmas Jokes

What is a get-together with your friends without some dirty jokes?

Dirty jokes and one-liners go hand in hand when you are with your friends. Don’t you agree?

When you are kids, our jokes are simple, as we tend to laugh at simple things. But as we grow up to be adults, the kind of jokes that get us to change. We tend to make more adult comments and jokes, especially when we are with our friends.

And there should be no exception on the eve of Christmas. What say?

That is where this section comes into the picture. I have included the dirtiest jokes about Christmas here.

But before you begin sharing these jokes with your closest friends, make sure to put your kids to bed! You don’t want them to ask you embarrassing questions. Right?

What do snowmen use to make snowbabies?

Snowballs.

What do a train set and your wife’s breasts have in common?

They were both made for kids, but you can’t help playing with them.

How does Santa practice safe sex?

He always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney. 

What do three ho’s get you?

One very jolly Santa.

Why does Santa always come through the chimney? 

Because he knows better than to try the back door.

How is Christmas just like any other day at the office?

You do a bunch of work, and some guy in a suit gets all the credit.

Why do elves laugh when they run?

Because the snow tickles their balls.

Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?

He only comes once a year.

What does The Grinch do with a baseball bat?

Hits a gnome and runs.

What do you get if you deep-fry Santa Claus?

Crisp Cringle.

What’s the most disappointing thing for a lover on Christmas morning?

When they get a sweater, but they’re hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

Why did the Snowman want a divorce?

Because his wife was a total flake.

Why did the Grinch hit up the liquor store?

He was desperate for some holiday spirit. 

One Christmas, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus saying, “Please send me a sister.”

Santa Claus wrote him back, “OK, please send me your mother.” 

What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney?

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…

What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?

Whatever the hell you want. He can’t hear you.

I love this time of year.

You can slam your laptop shut when your partner walks into the room, and you don’t get any disgusted looks.

Say your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas.

Can I visit between the holidays?

Why does Mrs. Claus always pray for a white Christmas?

Cause she’s married to a guy who comes once a year.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Claustrophobic.

As I was paying the cashier for my Christmas tree, he asked, “Are you going to put that up yourself?

I said, “No, I’m putting it up in the living room.”

Why are Christmas trees better than men?

Even the small ones give satisfaction.

Why does Santa always land on your roof?

Because he likes it on top.

Why is Santa so damn jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty women live.

Why was the snowman smiling?

He could see the snowblower coming down the street.

Also Read About: 195 Flirty Knock Knock Jokes for Adults

One-liner Jokes

One liner Jokes

When it comes to jokes, I love one-liners. They are witty, they are humorous, and they make you laugh. What more do you want from jokes?

Let me give you an example.

I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace,” So I bought her nothing.

Did you get this joke? I am still laughing!

To read such amazing and funny one-liners, make sure to scroll below.

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? 

He got 25 days!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? 

Santa Jaws!

What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? 

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson!

What did Santa do when he went speed dating? 

He pulled a cracker!

Why was the turkey in the pop group?

Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? 

A Christmas Quacker!

What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? 

Santa walking backwards!

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? 

He was picking his nose!

Why does Santa have three gardens? 

So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

What is the best Christmas present in the world? 

A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps!

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It’s Christmas, Eve!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? 

Frostbite!

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? 

Stick with me and we’ll go places!

Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? 

Because they were two deer!

What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?

The One Show!

Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? 

Because he has private elf care!

How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? 

They had a weigh in a manager!

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? 

Their days are numbered!

How did Scrooge win the football game? 

The ghost of Christmas passed!

What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?

Cross-mouse cards!

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?

Nice gnawing you!

Conclusion

Here ends my collection of the hilarious Christmas jokes.

So, tell me, did I succeed in making you laugh with my list of jokes? Which section did you find the most entertaining?

Don’t forget to let me know in the comments!

Must Checkout: 149 Snow and Winter Jokes That Will Make Your Day

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