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40+ Hilarious New Year Resolution Jokes for 2023

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Are you ready to bid goodbye to the year 2022 and welcome the year 2023? What are your thoughts about New Year’s resolutions?

Are you one of those people who make New Year’s resolutions just to break them a few days into the new year?

If so, we fall under the same group, buddy!

I used to make New Year’s resolutions right from my school days, but I never managed to keep them. A few days into the new year and my resolution was broken.

But you can’t blame me for that, you know. The circumstances have always been such that I couldn’t keep my resolutions.

These days, you can see so many ideas for New Year’s resolutions. People are looking up statements online while making any resolution. I find them funny, you know, no offense.

Besides making and breaking resolutions all these years, I have come to know that no matter how hard you try, you will not keep your resolution until the end of the new year.

But, of course, there are exceptions. And there are people with strong determination who actually manage to keep their resolutions intact till the very end.

Did you know that these days people make New Year resolution jokes all because of how unsuccessful they are in keeping them?

This post is all about that! Here I have come up with the funniest jokes on New Year resolutions that you can find.

So scroll down and have a great time laughing!

New Year Resolution Jokes for Everyone

New Year’s resolutions are all the rave as the new year is knocking at the door. People are searching for the best resolution they can make this year.

And with all these going on, the jokes on New Year resolutions are also being searched a lot.

After all, we all know that these resolutions are something that you will not be able to keep if you are not determined enough in your goals.

Most people fail to keep their resolution because they don’t have a strong will or think they will follow the resolution the next day. And that next day never comes!

Such was the case with me all my life. There is not even a single year where I managed to keep my resolution till the end.

And so, I understand this New Year’s resolution jokes well. They show us how resolutions are in a funny way.

Is there someone in your closest circle whom you want to make laugh?

Then send these funny jokes about New Year’s resolutions to them and crack them up!

Here the intention is to make you laugh hard! And you will do so, after reading these hilarious jokes.

Even I couldn’t help laughing while writing them here.

So, are you ready to destress yourself with a good laughter session?

Read the following!

New Year Resolution Jokes for Friends

New Year Resolution Jokes for Friends

When it comes to laughing and making fun of things, the most laughs you have shared with are your friends. Aren’t they?

Friends are like our oxygen. Talking to them after a hard day can make us distressed. There is no limit to our jokes when we are with them. 

From sharing silly jokes to witty ones – we leave no stone unturned to have the best time together with our friends.

And not to mention the pulling of the legs of one another!

You have spent some of your best times with your friends. I can vouch for that. And when you look back and remember all those moments shared together, you definitely have some funny stories to say.

Well, at least I have. There are some fantastic and hilarious stories I have about my friends. I will share them with my daughter when she grows up.

Now, New Year resolutions have some funny jokes too. And they can make you laugh any day.

In this section, I have included hilarious New Year’s resolution jokes that are perfect for sharing with your friends.

You can tell your friends the next time you meet them, or you can send them to your group chat.

Don’t miss the laughter!

  • My New Year resolution is 1080p.
  • My new year’s resolution is 1080 x 1920 pixels.
  • Resolved: To suffer more wisely.
  • My New Year’s resolution is to not buy any more resolutions this year.
  • I resolve to stop saying ‘Seacrest out.’ When I leave parties.
  • I’m going to learn how to use my ‘reply all’ button with great caution.
  • My New Year’s Resolution is to stop pretending that I like watching football.
  • My New Year’s Resolution is to figure out what everyone else’s resolutions are so I can be better than them.
  • This year, my resolution is to remember all the passwords I’m creating for all the new accounts I’m signing up for.
  • I resolve to work with neglected mathematical talents.
  • This year, my resolution is not to give up on my resolutions too quickly!
  • My new year’s resolution is 20/20 vision—for 2023!
  • My new year’s resolution is 12 naps—one for every month in 2023!
  • This year, my goal is not to procrastinate as much as last year!
  • This year, my goal is not to forget about all of my goals within the first week of January!
  • This year, my goal is not to get so caught up in making plans that I forget about enjoying each day!
  • This year, my goal is not just setting goals but actually achieving them!
  • This year, my goal isn’t just setting goals but also having fun while doing it.
  • This year, let’s make sure our resolutions are ones we can realistically accomplish.
  • Let’s make this our best (and funniest) New Year yet!
  • I won’t annoy my boss by giving the same excuse for taking time off. I’ll come up with some more excuses.
  • My goal for the new year is to help all of my friends put on 10 pounds so I can look more toned.
  • My goal for the coming year is to be more tolerant of fools, so long as it doesn’t make them demand more of my time.
  • My New Year’s resolution is to avoid spending time with people who nag me about my resolutions.
  • I asked about the programmer’s New Year’s resolution.
    He replied, “640 x 480.”
  • What was the resolution of a spider for the new year?
    Reduce its web time.
  • Why did the jeweler attend the party on New Year’s Eve?
    To ring the new year.

New Year Resolution Jokes for Family

New Year Resolution Jokes for Family

Having loving time with your family for at least a few minutes daily is very important for a happy mind and soul.

When you come home from work and sit with your family, you can share funny jokes with them. Doing so will not only relieve your stress but also make you a happier being.

And with New Year fast approaching, what better than sharing New Year resolution jokes with your closest set of people?

You will have a gala time with your family laughing and having fun. Are you planning a get-together with your family this new year?

Then you can have dinner together, and then when you are done eating, you can sit with drinks in your hand and share these nut-cracking New Year resolution jokes.

After all, these jokes are highly relevant and can heighten the fun element of any party, especially when you are with your favorite people.

In this section, I have listed the best New Year resolution jokes you can share with your family. Also, you can forward them to your family WhatsApp group and make the most of it by laughing!

  •  I resolve to not do my chores until my children have completed theirs.
  • I will learn how to properly load a dishwasher without having to be reminded by my spouse.
  • I will try to remember that “free time” is actually a thing and take advantage of it whenever possible.
  • I will attempt to get out of bed each morning before the kids wake up so that I can have at least 10 minutes of peace and quiet before they start their day.
  • I will stop trying to multitask when playing with my children – no more checking emails or text messages while playing games with them!
  • I will try not to roll my eyes when one of my children does something silly or embarrassing in public – even if it drives me crazy!
  • I will try and remember that different parenting styles don’t make either one wrong – just different!
  • I resolve not to stay up too late watching shows that only appeal to adults after the kids are in bed – because then everyone is tired in the morning!
  • I will attempt not to take it personally when one of my children chooses their friends over family time on occasion – it’s part of growing up and being independent!
  • Instead of getting angry when one of my children makes a mess, I will try and take a deep breath and explain why it’s important to clean up after themselves (even if it doesn’t always work).
  • I resolve not to forget that laughter is essential in any household – especially when things seem tough or overwhelming!
  • Instead of giving into temptation and buying unhealthy snacks for my kids, I will opt for healthier alternatives like fruits and vegetables instead!
  • This year, I vow never again to judge another parent based on their parenting style or decisions they make with their own kids – everyone has their own way of doing things!
  • I promise myself that this year, no matter how busy life gets, quality family time is always going to be prioritized over everything else!
  • I vow never again to forget how important it is for parents (especially moms!) To take some “me-time” every now and then – even if only for 15 minutes here or there throughout the day or week!
  • I resolve never again lose patience with my children – even if they drive me crazy sometimes – because they are still learning every single day (just like me!)
  • I promise myself this year that no matter what happens, at least once a month we are going on an outing as a family – whether its hiking, visiting museums, attending sports games etc., making memories together should always be our priority
  • I vow this year never again resorting back into bad habits such as leaving toys lying around everywhere in the house – this way everyone can actually find what they need without having too much clutter everywhere
  • I promise myself this year that no matter how hard life might get at times – we are all still here together as one big happy family
  • This year, instead of focusing on all our differences – let’s focus on all our similarities – which can often be forgotten due too busy schedules or other commitments
  • What did the father say at midnight on New Year’s eve?
    No more jokes till next year.
  • To fulfil my New Year’s resolution to read more, I switched to subtitles on my TV.
  • My goal for the coming year is to stay out of shape. I might not adhere to this one either.
  • For the New Year, I was going to quit all of my bad habits, but then I realized that nobody likes quitters.
  • What does the tiny Champagne bottle call his father?

New Year Resolution Jokes for Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

New Year Resolution Jokes for Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Your boyfriend or girlfriend is like a dessert in your life. No matter how full of a life you have, without them, your life seems incomplete. After all, they bring love into your life. And they are your partner for a reason. Right?

A laughing session with the love of your life has a different level of happiness and satisfaction.

When my husband comes home from work, and we sit with each other and talk about our day after dinner, the laughter we have then is one of a kind. It makes all my tiredness from running behind my toddler go away in seconds.

It’s the best kind of therapy I can have. And that is the perfect time for me to share jokes and funny incidents that happened that day.

Do you spend? Or do you plan to be with them on New Year’s eve?

Then you can share New Year resolution jokes with your partner. And don’t miss their bright smile when hearing your jokes!

  • Embrace your inner child and play games together – whether it’s board games, video games, card games or even lawn games like croquet or corn hole.
  • Get creative with dinner – try something new each month like making dinner with ingredients from all over the world or making a specific dish from a movie you both love.
  • Have a weekly date night – put aside one night per week for just the two of you to go out for dinner, take in a show, or just spend quality time together.
  • Take on an outdoor adventure – plan a camping trip, rent kayaks for the day, or take an outdoor cooking class together.
  • Make time for cuddling – snuggling up on the couch is good for your relationship and your health!
  • Unplug at least once per week – turn off all electronic devices and spend some quality time connecting with each other without interruption from phones and computers.
  • Give each other compliments every single day – it doesn’t matter how small they are; everyone loves feeling appreciated by their partner!
  • Host game nights with friends – invite some friends over for an evening full of laughter and friendly competition with board games or charades!
  • Go to bed at the same time – there’s nothing better than falling asleep next to your partner after a long day filled with laughter and love.
  • Try something new together every month – it could be anything from taking salsa lessons to trying out indoor skydiving!
  • Surprise each other with random acts of kindness – whether it’s bringing home flowers after work or writing sweet notes of encouragement before bedtime, these small gestures keep relationships strong and healthy!
  • Have an “experience” night – plan out an evening that includes multiple activities such as going to dinner followed by going bowling or visiting an arcade afterwards.
  • Go on surprise trips- pick one weekend per month where you both take turns planning surprise trips (it could be anywhere from the next town over or further away)
  • Set aside 30 minutes each week- dedicate this time solely to listening to each other’s thoughts without judgment
  • Do chores together- make mundane tasks fun by turning them into bonding experiences
  • Be spontaneous- try something completely unexpected such as taking off work early on Friday afternoon so you can have a romantic picnic in the park
  • Take up a hobby together- find something that you both enjoy doing so you can grow closer while learning something new.
  • Learn how to dance together- find local classes that teach different forms of dance such as tango, salsa, swing etc.
  • Go stargazing- pack blankets & snacks for a lovely evening spent under the stars.
  • Write letters/cards/emails throughout the year- send thoughtful words expressing appreciation & admiration for your partner throughout 2023
  • Create your own version of truth or dare–add some spice into date night by inventing rules like “if someone says truth, both people have to answer honestly” or “if someone says dare, they must do whatever the other person requests within reason


The jokes are funny. And when they are New Year resolution jokes, they become all the funnier.

So, tell me, which of these jokes made you laugh the most? Which of these sections did you like the most?

Let me know in the comments!

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