280 Hilarious Disney Jokes For Kids And Adults

Do your kids love Disney movies and characters? Do they mention Disney every time you talk about movies? And do the adults in your family like Disney too?

Then one of the best things you can do when you plan a get-together is come up with Disney jokes!

Jokes are no doubt hilarious. And when you share them with your friends and family, you are sure to have a great time. Also, when the jokes are especially about Disney movies, dialogues, scenes, and characters, they make you laugh like a mad man. Agree?

I am a HUGE fan of Disney movies. I grew up reading the stories of Disney princesses, and I dreamed of meeting my Prince Charming. And that did happen when I met the love of my life.

I wish to visit Disneyland someday. I want to meet the characters I have loved ever since my childhood. And when I do that, I know I will have the best time of my life.

But did you know there are so many funny and corny jokes about your favorite Disney characters?

Well, yes. They are hilarious, and they will give you and your family a laughing riot!

I have come up with a list of some of the funniest Disney jokes. They are perfect for sharing with kids as well as adults.

Are you eager already?

Come, let’s read them together.

Funny Disney Jokes For Kids And Adults

Get-togethers with your loved ones are no doubt fun. And when you share some silly jokes, it becomes all the more joyful.

Funny Disney Jokes For Kids

Funny Disney Jokes For Kids

Share these Disney jokes with the small ones of your family and see how they roll laughing!

What does Frosty’s wife put on her face at night?

Cold cream

What does Daisy Duck say when she buys lipstick?

Put it on my bill

What does Buzz Lightyear like to read?

Comet books!

Why was Ariel dressed in seashells?

Because the “B” shell was too tiny and the shell of “D” was too large.

What happens when a shark and a snowman are combined?

Frostbite

Which song does Tarzan like best?

Jungle bells

How come Mickey Mouse traveled to space?

To search for Pluto

What does an Olaf eat for breakfast

Snowflakes

What Disney character can count the highest?

Buzz Lightyear – he can count to infinity and beyond

What did Woody say to the pencil?

Draw, pardner!

What did Woody say to Buzz Lightyear?

A lot. There were three movies!

Why did the banana go to see Doc McStuffins?

Because it wasn’t peeling well

What did the town sing when the Beast and Belle broke up?

Single Belle, Single Belle, single all the way

What did the rapper Lil Jon say when he visited Disneyland?

Turn down for Walt

What did Rex say to Woody after eating a toy?

You’ve got a friend in me!

What did Mickey Mouse say when he crashed his car?

Disney matter!

What did Hamm build his house out of?

Mahogany!

How does Mickey feel when Minnie is mad at him?

Mouserable!

How do you ask Scar to stop being so mean?

Be a bit more Simbathetic!

How did Minnie save Mickey from drowning?

Mouse to mouse resuscitation

How cold was it at Disney World?

Donald Duck was wearing pants!

Have you ever flown on a flying carpet!

It’s a rugged experience!

Disney finally released Yoda’s last name.

His full name is: Yoda Lay-Heehoo

Why would Snow White make a good judge?

Because she is the fairest of them all!

Why was Woody fed up with Hamm?

He was being a bore!

Why was the wrong Disney princess arrested?

The police thought she was someone Else…

Why is Jessie undefeated at darts?

Because she always gets Bullseye!

Why is Cinderella terrible at netball?

Because she always runs away from the ball

Why is Buzz light year so good at Maths?

Because he can count to infinity and beyond!

Why does Woody always have to wear his trainers?

Because there’s a snake in his boot!

Why does Jessie ride Bullseye?

Because Bullseye is too heavy to carry!

Why does Alice ask so many questions?

Because she’s in Wonderland

Why did Woody give Bullseye some cough syrup?

Because he was a horse!

Why did the cookie go to see Doc McStuffins?

Because it was feeling crummy

Why did Sleepy go to bed in the fireplace?

He wanted to sleep like a log.

Why did Mickey Mouse fall over?

He had a Disney spell!

Why did Mickey go into outer space?

To find Pluto

Why did Goofy stare at the label on the orange juice all day?

Because the carton said “concentrate”

Why did Donkey cross the road?

He wanted to visit his “neigh-bor” Shrek.

Why did Buzz Lightyear go to school in the sun?

To get brighter!

Why didn’t Anna and Elsa’s parents teach them all the letters of the alphabet?

Because they got lost at C!

How do you keep Pumba from charging you?

Take away his credit cards

Why did Mickey Mouse get hit with a snowball?

Because Donald ducked

Why is Gaston the most peaceful Disney villain?

Because he won the No-Belle Prize

How does the ocean say hello to Ariel?

It waves

What did Captain Hook’s sidekick say to Adele?

Hello, it’s Smee!

What is Grumpy’s favourite fruit?

Sour grapes

Why is Peter Pan flying all the time?

He Neverlands

How does Clarabelle Cow feel when she’s sad?

Moo-dy

What did Snow White say when her photos weren’t ready yet?

“Someday, my prints will come!”

Why did Sven try to eat Olaf’s nose?

Because he doesn’t carrot (care at) all

What music does Buzz Lightyear like best?

Nep-tunes

Who does Mickey say is his favourite pop star?

Britney Ears

What is Clarabelle’s favourite party game?

Moo-sical chairs

What is Tarzan’s favourite Christmas Carol?

Jungle Bells

Where do Disney characters like to eat?

Mickey D’s

What kind of fairy doesn’t like to take a bath?

S-Tinkerbell

Why do people go to Disneyland?

So they can get a little goofy

What Disney character would you ask to fix something?

Tinkerbell

What’s Peter Pan’s favourite restaurant?

Wendy’s

Why did Ariel throw peanut butter into the ocean?

To go with the jellyfish

If Donald throws a ball at you, what should you do?

Duck

When does Donald Duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn

What happens when Olaf throws a temper tantrum?

He has a meltdown

What do you call Wall-E’s cousin who cleans floors?

Floor-E duh

What is the Cheshire cat’s favourite colour?

Puuurple

What did the 101 Dalmatians say after eating dinner?

That hit the spot

What does Woody say when he walks into a German car dealership?

Audi!

What do you call a lion with no eyes?

Lon

What does Mickey Mouse use to browse the Web?

An iPad Minnie

What is Captain Hook’s favourite letter?

aRRRRRRgh

What is Captain Jack Sparrow’s favourite restaurant?

Arrrgh-by’s

What is Mickey Mouse’s favourite sport?

Minnie-golf

Why does Jessie say she’s undefeated at darts?

Because she always gets Bullseye!

Who is Thor’s favourite rapper?

MC Hammer

What’s the Cheshire Cat’s favourite drink?

Evaporated Milk

What’s the name of the Disney princess that got burned?

Cinder-ella

Why did Mickey Mouse go to the doctor?

Because he had Disney spells.

Why is Yoda such a fantastic gardener?

He has green fingers!

Where does Sarge keep his armies in Toy Story?

In his sleeves

What does Winnie the Pooh call his girlfriend?

Honey!

Where can Ariel and all of her fishy friends be found?

Under the sea

Why did Dopey take a box of crayons with him into the bedroom?

Snow White asked him to draw the curtains.

Why is Quasimodo great at solving crimes?

He always has a hunch.

Why did Goofy wear two pairs of pants when he played golf?

He heard he might get a hole in one.

What kind of blush does Mulan wear?

Mulan Rouge

Who does Ariel call when one of her friends is missing?

The Lost and Flounder line

What kind of monster loves to disco?

The boogieman.

Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner?

He was already stuffed.

Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?

He had no guts.

What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.

Are any Halloween monsters good at math?

No—unless you Count Dracula!

Why didn’t the zombie go to school?

He felt rotten!

How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?

You use a pumpkin patch!

The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?

A coffin.

When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you’re a mouse.

What is a recess at a mortuary called?

A Coffin Break!

Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?

Because there are so many plots there!

When Rapunzel emerges from the dark, what does she say?

And at last, I see the light!

Who does Ariel call when one of her friends is missing?

The Lost and Flounder line.

Disney is planning to release a version of Tangled that has an alternative ending where Rapunzel’s hair isn’t chopped off.

It’s going to be called ‘The Uncut Edition’.

What kind of blush does Mulan wear?

Mulan Rouge.

What does Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse when he’s listening?

I’m all ears.

If Donald throws a ball at you, what should you do?

Duck!

When I went to the doctor, I said, “Doctor, every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy.”

He replied, “How long have you been getting these Disney spells?”

When does Donald Duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

Where did Captain Hook go for a hook replacement?

The second-hand store.

What did Captain Hook’s accomplice say to Adele?

Hello, it’s Smee!

What did Woody say to the pencil?

Draw, pardner!

After eating, what did the 101 Dalmatians say?

That hit the spot.

What do you say to Simba when he’s moving too slowly?

Mufasa.

What Christmas Carol is Tarzan’s favourite?

Jungle Bells.

What drink is the Cheshire Cat’s favourite?

Evaporated milk!

Where do the Sith tend to shop?

At a Darth Mall.

Why was R2-D2 angry?

Everyone kept pushing his buttons.

When Chewbacca gets chocolate in his fur, what is he called?

A chocolate chip Wookie!

Who serves the food at restaurants on the Death Star?

Darth Waiters.

Which Star Wars character is the most globally travelled?

Globe-Wan Kenobi.

Funny Disney Jokes For Adults

Funny Disney Jokes For Adults

It is not only kids that love Disney. Adults love it too. The following corny jokes on Disney are meant for adults only!

Why couldn’t Cinderella play cricket?

She always ran away from the ball!

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she will “Let it go, let it go…”

Why can’t Cinderella play football?

Her coach is a pumpkin!

Why are there no planes where Peter Pan lives?

Because there is a sign that says, “Never Neverland.”

What is a pirate who misses class called?

The Captain Hooky.

Why did Bo Peep and Woody split up?

She was a bit embarrassed.

How Elsa won the game of hide and seek?

Because Olaf was exposing her.

What is a singing bear known as?

Bear-tista

What stops aliens from coming to Earth?

Because they only provided us with one star after reading the reviews.

Mickey Mouse uses what to access the internet?

the mouse pad

How come Aladdin had two hats on?

Just in case, he ended up in Agrabahdabrah!

What has Snow White said to the copy machine?

Mirror mirror on the wall….

What game did Woody like the most?

Woody and Hide

Why did Genie go to a locksmith?

He was imprisoned inside.

What is Belle’s preferred food?

Beauty and the cheesecake.

Why did Dumbo leave his job?

He was fed up with working for just peanuts.

What did Elsa utter when she caught a glimpse of herself in a crystalline ball?

Let it snow

Why was Cinderella rejected from the football team?

Because she was constantly avoiding the ball.

Which princess makes the best corny Disney jokes?

Ra-PUN-zel

Which Disney princess makes the best judge?

Snow White; she’s the fairest of them all

Which chocolate bars are Buzz Lightyear’s favourite?

Marsbars and milkyways!

Where does Tarzan buy his clothes?

Jungle sales!

Where did Hamm go to school?

Hogwarts!

What’s Mickey Mouses’ favourite treat?

Mice cream

What’s a bee’s favourite Disney movie?

Beauty And The Bees

What’s Tarzan’s favourite Christmas carol?

Jungle Bells!

What would you call Woody if he weighed 126 pounds?

A nine-stone cowboy!

What superhero uses public transport?

Bus Lightyear!

What kind of music does Buzz Lightyear listen to?

Neptunes!

What is Grumpy’s favourite fruit?

Sour grapes

What does Woody say when he has bad gas?

Darn tootin’!

What did Cinderella Dolphin wear to the ball?

Her glass flipper

What did Snow White call her chicken?

Egg White

Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?

Because she always runs away from the ball and has a pumpkin for a coach

What happened the first time Mickey and Minnie saw each other?

It was a glove at first sight.

Why would you not want to be one of Snow White’s dwarfs?

6 out of 7 of them aren’t Happy

Why is Cinderella terrible at netball?

Because she always runs away from the ball

What do the seven dwarves sing if they see a rainbow on their way to the mine?

High Hue, High Hue!

What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?

A Minnie van

What does an Olaf eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes

What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede?

“Move fasta” (Mufasa)

What does Daisy Duck say when she buys lipstick?

Put it on my bill

What do you call the Disneyland train when it sneezes?

A choo-choo train

What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig?

Rapunzel, By a hair!

Why did Mickey Mouse cross the road?

He was going on a Minnie vacation.

What does Buzz Lightyear like to read?

Comet books

Where did Captain Hook buy his hook?

The second-hand store

What does Ariel like to put on her toast?

Merma-lade

Which Disney Princess is a cow’s favorite?

Moo-lan

Why does Ariel wear seashells?

Because D shells are too big and B shells are too small

How does Disney World get a tissue to dance?

They put a little Oogie Boogie in it.

Why is Halle Bailey the perfect Ariel?

Because she’s cute as shell

Why was Woody fed up with Hamm?

Because Hamm was being a bore

Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?

He wanted to visit Pluto.

Why is Quasimodo great at solving crimes?

He always has a hunch!

How does Scarlet Witch channel her magic?

With a magic Wanda!

Does the God of Thunder like ice cream?

Sure, but he prefers Thor-bet.

Who is Thor’s favourite rapper?

MC Hammer!

Why is Gaston the most peaceful Disney villain?

Because he won the No-Belle Prize.

What do you call a droid that likes taking the scenic route?

R2-Detour!

What does The Child from The Mandalorian write in his Valentine’s cards?

Baby Yoda, one for me!

Is BB hungry?

No, BB-8!

Which program does Jedi use to open PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi!

Why didn’t Anna and Elsa’s parents teach them all the letters of the alphabet?

Because they got lost at C!

What do Ariel and her under-the-sea friends sing at Christmas?

Christmas corals.

What did Ariel excel at when she was at school?

Algae-bra.

Did you know cows like a Disney movie or two?

Their best watch was Moo-lan.

What do Huey, Dewey, and Louie have before bed?

Milk and quackers.

What does Woody say whenever he visits a car showroom?

Au-di partner!

What do the Monsters Inc gang like to do in the winter?

They Mike Wazow-ski.

Did you hear about Nemo’s adventures when he went into battle?

He got caught behind anemone lines.

Which Avenger is always in a hurry?

Black Widow, she’s Russian.

Why did Woody buy Bulls Eye some cough medicine?

Because he was so horse.

How did the Cheshire cat become so wise?

He always reads the mews!

What take-away does Lightning McQueen order?

Ka-Chow Mein.

Did you hear of the Marvel character that’s always ready for summer?

He’s tan-os

Want an Avenger you can trust?

Call on the Credible-Hulk.

When does Mickey Mouse hang up next year’s calendar?

New Ears Eve.

Did you hear about Mickey’s favourite road trip destination?

It’s Minnie-sota.

What kind of shoes does Simba wear?

Heir Jordans.

Why did the lions go to Simba’s naming ceremony in Lion King?

Because it was the mane event.

Which Disney Princess is the cow’s favourite?

Mulan.

Why do Texas baseball fans love Chip & Dale?

They’ve been known to Rescue Rangers.

What do you get when you cross Pooh and a skunk?

Winnie the P.U.

How do Ewoks communicate?

On their Ewokie-talkies!

Did you know things are so bad that even Captain Jack Sparrow has had trouble making ends meet?

He can barely afford to keep a skeleton crew.

Why did Woody give Bullseye some cough syrup?

Because he was hoarse

Who is always watching over Thor?

His Asgardian angel.

Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?

She sat on Pinocchio’s face and said: “Lie to me! Lie to me!

What’s pink and has seven dents?

Snow White’s cherry!

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She gagged!

Why doesn’t Bambi’s friend Thumper make noise during sex?

Because he has cotton balls.

Why did Chip and Dale take Daisy Duck to the hospital?

Because they busted a nut in her.

Why was Tigger in the bathroom for so long?

He has Pooh stuck inside him.

Did you hear how Captain Hook died?

Jock Itch!

Why do the seven dwarfs laugh when they play soccer?

The grass tickles their balls

How do you kill the hunchback of Notre Dame?

Give him a knife and say, “Who’s special?”

What did Mulan and her husband name their retarded baby?

They named him Sum Ting Wong!

Why was Anger so furious?

Because Sadness touched one of his balls.

What’s slimy cold, long, and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog’s finger

What do you call a nanny that doesn’t flush?

Mary Poopins the toilet.

Why does Peter Pan fly?

Cause you got hit in the peter with a pan, You’d fly too.

How does Darth Vader greet visitors to Disneyland?

Welcome to the Park-side.

Why did the Croissants take the Donuts and Bagels to Disneyland?

They thought it would be fun for the hole family.

You guys know why Disneyland closed?

It was because of Sneezy.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at Disneyland?

She woke up.

Why can’t Dalmatians hide?

Because they are always spotted.

Have you ever heard about the Hunchbag of Notre dame?

He rings a bell.

Nobody talks about Dumbo anymore.

He’s irrelephant.

In movies, when people go underwater, I hold my breath to see if I will survive.

Unfortunately, I died at Finding Nemo.

What font does the mermaid use for writing?

Ariel.

You know why did Ariel’s boyfriend break up with her?

Because she was a selfish lover.

Is your name Ariel?

Because we are mer-made for each other.

What do dwarfs call Snow White as a nickname?

Heigh-ho.

If Tinkerbell had a Latina sister, what would you call her?

Taco bell.

Why is Cinderella bad at sports?

She is always running away from ball.

Why do people watch Disney movies?

So they can get a little goofy!

What do you call a Dalmatian thief with a headache?

Cuella Ad Vil.

Voldemort: so, you’re saying you just have to lie?

Pinocchio: Yes!

What is Dumbo’s least favourite band?

“Cage the Elephants”.

What’s Olaf’s favourite food?

Ice Berger.

Which fairy says no to showers?

Stink-rebel.

Which Disney character is the scariest?

Poca-haunt us.

Why did Elsa’s credit card get rejected?

Her accounts were frozen

What does the white rabbit eat on Easter?

Choco–LATE.

What does Mickey’s wife drive?

Minnie Cooper.

Why does Snow White hate Twitter?

She only has seven followers.

Guess what you get if you cross Donald with a whale?

Moby Duck.

How do you get the Queen of Hearts’ attention?

Poke-her.

What would be the name of the movie if I was Belle?

Beauty and the Feast.

Why was King Triton mad at Ariel?

Her grades were under the C.

Who do you ask to fix something?

I don’t know, Fix-It Felix? NO! Tinkerbell.

What would you call Hercules if he was a scientist?

Molecules.

What’s Hercules’ least favourite car?

Mers–Hades.

The next Pirates of the Caribbean movie will have more violence in it.

I guess it will be rated “Arrr..”

What does Alladin say when he sneezes?

Ahhhh-bu!

Minnie told Mickey she wanted a divorce.

He responded: “Are you fucking crazy?!”
Minnie says: No, I’m fucking goofy!”

Disney Puns

Disney Puns

How about some Disney puns meant just for adult family members and friends?

  • Meet Gaston, winner of the No-Belle prize.
  • We’re alive and Belle.
  • I’m off to a buy and Belle sale.
  • Hmm, it doesn’t ring a Belle.
  • This is a whole different Belle-Game.
  • Thanks for the offer, I’ll Mulan it over.
  • If your name is Ariel, I really think we’re mer-maid for each other.
  • Ariel loves toast for breakfast. She spreads it with merma-lade.
  • The Disney Ducks are early risers, Donald and Daisy wake at the quack of dawn.
  • Hello pirates, it’s Smee!
  • It’s o-fish-al, clownfish are the funniest in the ocean.
  • It’s Thorsday, The Avengers favorite day of the week.
  • The God of thunder’s favorite dessert is always Thor-bet.
  • Whenever Mickey steps out to perform, he and his friends bring the ‘mouse’ down.
  • Radiator Springs is wheely a great place to live. You auto swing by some time.
  • When I die, I want to be scattered over Disneyland. But not cremated.
  • Chernobyl is like Disneyland. Except the 5 foot tall mouse is real there.
  • Disneyland prices are now well over $100 a person. Maybe now they’ll buy Donald Duck some pants.
  • A blond is driving to Disney Land…She sees a sign saying “Disney Land left” so she turns around and drives home.

Conclusion

Did you have a great laugh reading these Disney jokes?

I’m sure you did!

Which one cracked you up the most?

Don’t forget to let me know in the comments!

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