174 Hilarious and Funny Quotes for Sarcasm That Will Make Everyone Laugh

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Did you know that according to a study by Scientific American in 2015, sarcasm can actually increase your flow of creativity?

After all, in order to be sarcastic, you need to be quite crafty so that you can whip up a witty comment on the spot. And that is not something everyone can do!

Even Oscar Wilde said, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence.”

So, now you know, sarcastic people are really intellectual!

Do you love to throw sarcastic comments now and then? Or, do you have a thing for sarcasm?

Then I must say, you ARE smart and witty.

Are you feeling low?

Hilarious and Funny Quotes for Sarcasm

I have something to lift your spirits. I have come up with a list of some quotes for sarcasm that can make you laugh no matter how sad you are.

Read these and flash that million-dollar smile you have!

Funny Love Quotes

Funny Love Quotes

Love is a wonderful feeling, no doubt. And there are tons of love quotes to make you feel all the more loved.

But how about adding a bit of sarcasm to those quotes and making it way more interesting and, of course, hilarious?

So, are you up for some healthy laugh? Read the following love quotes for sarcasm!

“Love is sharing your popcorn.”

Charles Schultz

“Love is a lot like a toothache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.”

George Burns

“Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.”

Fran Lebowitz

“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.”

Carroll Bryant

“A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.”

Zsa Zsa Gabor

“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”

Stephen Bishop

“Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.”

Fulton J. Sheen

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.”

Joan Crawford

“If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.”

George Carlin

“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.”

Mae West

“Being in love is the worst. I mean it’s the best, but it’s so hard and scary to open your heart to someone… But the point is, vulnerability is the key to happiness.”

Amy Poehler

“Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.”

Richard Jeni

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”

Oscar Levant

“If love is the answer, can you please rephrase the question?”

Lily Tomlin

“As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: you can be right or you can be happy.”

Ralphie May

“My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan.”

Leopold Fechner

“Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage.”

Ambrose Bierce

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”

Groucho Marx

“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.”

Richard Lewis

“Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.”

Murphy’s Laws

“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.”

Natalie Wood

“If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.”

Katherine Mansfield

“I don’t remember, you looking any better… But then again, I don’t remember you.”, ‘Who Says’

John Mayer

“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.”

Natasha Leggero

“People should fall in love with their eyes closed.”

Andy Warhol

Also Read: 112 Beautiful Love Quotes For Your Wife

Hilarious Quotes About Marriage

Hilarious Quotes About Marriage

Are you happily married?

Then you may already know that one thing that keeps a marriage alive, apart from love, is a sense of humor. You should be able to laugh at each other’s flaws. This lightens the mood and helps your marriage go a long way.

And to prove that, I have gathered some funny and sarcastic quotes on marriage.

Read these out loud to your partner and enjoy a good laughing session! You can thank me later.

“What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.”

Cindy Garner

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your Life.”

Rita Rudner

“Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”

Phyllis Diller

“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”

Rodney Dangerfield

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.”

Will Ferrell

“I asked my dad once, ‘How did you and Mum stay married for 33 years?’ And he said, ‘Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time.'”

Gwyneth Paltrow

“We have a couple of rules in our relationship. The first rule is that I make her feel like she’s getting everything. The second rule is that I actually do let her have her way in everything. And, so far, it’s working.”

Justin Timberlake

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”

Phyllis Diller

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

Jim Carrey

“My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife, you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.”

Socrates

“Never criticize your spouse’s faults; if it weren’t for them, your mate might have found someone better than you.”

Jay Trachman

“If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.”

Aldo Cammarota

“Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.”

Professor Irwin Corey

“He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.”

Victor Borge

“Sometimes I Need What Only You Can Provide: Your Absence.”

Ashleigh Brilliant

“Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.”

Joey Adams

“Give your relationship attention like you would a plant. You have to water it every day and give it sunshine. So put your man out in the sun and spray him with a hose.”

Whitney Cummings

“My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.”

Ray Romano

“Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.”

Jackie Mason

“Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.”

Pauline Thomason

“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”

Rodney Dangerfield

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”

Albert Einstein

“The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.”

Dolly Parton

“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?”

Jean Illsley Clarke

“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.”

Shirley MacLaine

You May Also Read: 21 Major Signs He Sees Himself Marrying You

Life Quotes for Sarcasm

Life Quotes for Sarcasm

Are you searching for funny quotes that reflect the humor underlying the many facets of Life – joys, struggles, and lessons?

You have landed on the right page!

Here is a list of some sarcastic quotes and sayings about Life – adventures, milestones, funny memories – that are sure to make you laugh – hard!

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”

Truman Capote

“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.”

Tina Fey

“It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.”

Lisa Lieberman-Wang

“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”

Betty Reese

“Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.”, The Office

Stanley Hudson

“Do not take Life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

Elbert Hubbard

“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”

Joan Rivers

“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.”

Mae West

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”

W.C. Fields

“Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!”

Charlie Brown

“I love mankind… it’s people I can’t stand!!”

Charles M. Schulz

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the universe.”

Albert Einstein

“When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”

Lily Tomlin

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.”

Mark Twain

“The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.”

Betty White

“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.”

Samuel L. Jackson

“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”

Oscar Wilde

“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”

Ellen DeGeneres

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”

Will Rogers

“Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.”

Mark Twain

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”

Winston S. Churchill

“Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired.”

Sandra Bullock

“Be wise, because the world needs wisdom. If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.”

Neil Gaiman

“A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.”

George Bernard Shaw

“The lord gave us two ends: One to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most.”

Ann Landers

Sarcastic Quotes About Family

Sarcastic Quotes About Family

Have you heard the saying,” Can’t live with them, can’t live without them?”

Then I’m pretty sure that you already used it at least once when you thought you had enough of family dramas.

Do you need a funny reminder of the hilarious side of a family? How about having a look at the following sarcastic family quotes?

I can guarantee you a good laugh!

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”

George Burns

“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.”

Harry Morgan

“The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our best while looking our worst.”

Marge Kennedy

“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”

Robert Brault

“Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts.”

Unknown

“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”

Sam Levenson

“Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.”

Ralph Bus

“One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family.”

Jonathan Safran Foer

“If you want to call a family meeting – turn off the WiFi and sit in the room where it is located.”

Anonymous

“The bigger your family, the bigger your problems.”

Anonymous

“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.”

Jerry Seinfeld

“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”

Erma Bombeck

“If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that ‘Members not Present’ and ‘Subjects Discussed’ were one and the same. “

Robert Brault

“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member does or says.”

Anonymous

“My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.”

Rodney Dangerfield

“All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.”

Anonymous

“If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you’ll be going, ‘you know, we’re alright. We are dang near royalty.”

Jeff Foxworthy

“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”

George Bernard Shaw

“I love all genres. The only thing I get stymied by is the Family Drama. I don’t necessarily know how to approach that.”

Joss Whedon

“A family without a black sheep is not a typical family.”

Heinrich Boll

“I enjoy slaughtering beasts and I think of my relatives constantly.”

Roger Zelazny

“I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.”

Ugo Betti

“For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on Life’s list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.”

Jeff Foxworthy

“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

“I think a dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.”

Mary Karr

“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”

Anonymous

“Relatives are the worst friends, said the fox as the dogs took after him.”

Danish proverb

“Bleeding ulcers run in my family: We give them to each other.”

Lois McMaster Bujold

“Teenagers, are you tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act now. Move out, get a job, and pay your own bills–while you still know everything.”

John Hinde

“Nothing in Life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”

Jerry Seinfeld

“From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”

Jarod Kintz

“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”

Cary Grant

“Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always say.”

Rick Riordan

“Never judge someone by their relatives.”

Charles Martin

Funny Quotes About Parenting

Funny Quotes About Parenting

Children are a blessing in our lives – and there is no denying the fact!

Being a parent comes with a lot of responsibilities. You need to take proper care of them, feed them, and teach them. That is a HUGE responsibility! In short, you need to bring them up so well that they become a good and successful person.

Here I have listed down some funny and relatable parenting quotes that are sure to make your day.

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

Phyllis Diller

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”

Erma Bombeck

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.”

Phyllis Diller

“Everybody wants to save the earth. No one wants to help mom do the dishes.”

P.J. O’Rourke

“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.”

Jerry Seinfeld

“If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.”

Reese Witherspoon

“Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.”

Paula Poundstone

“It is not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”, The Golden Girls

Dorothy Zbornak

“Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.”

Michael Levine

“In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in television.”

Erma Bombeck

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

Phyllis Diller

“Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don’t have the top for.”

Jerry Seinfeld

“Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million-dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.”

Jim Bishop

“Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.”

David Frost

“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”

Buddy Hackett

“A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops.”

Maurice Johnston

“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.”

Leo Burke

“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance?”

Franklin P. Adams

“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”

Jerry Seinfeld

“Never have more children than you have car windows.”

Erma Bombeck

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.”

Ed Asner

“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”

Lane Olinghouse

“Why don’t kids understand their nap is not for them, but for us?”

Alyson Hannigan

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

James Baldwin

“Having a child is liking getting a tattoo on your face. You better be committed.”

‘Eat Pray Love’

“Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children, and now I have six children and no theories.”

John Wilmot, ‘Earl Of Rochester

“It’s weird, all those parenting books my wife made me read, and not one ever hinted that I’d have to remind my son not to touch the dog’s butthole.”

Jr. Williams

“Parenting Tip: If your child is crying, hold it close and whisper, ‘You don’t have a clue what horrors this world holds.”

Rob Delaney

“Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world, but they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they’re born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.”

Ray Romano

“You dropped your kid off a changing table? Stuff just happens, okay? Last week, my kid ate a cigarette. I caught him playing in the dryer yesterday. I picked up the wrong baby from daycare. I found my baby swimming in the toilet. No judging.”- ‘What To Expect When You Are Expecting’

“All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.”

Erma Bombeck

“Parents of newborn babies are basically hostages in their own house with a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome.”

Nate Smith

“Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.”

Ray Romano

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

Nora Ephron

“First babies have the often-unenviable task of turning people into parents.”

Penelope Leach

“No matter how much time you spend reading books or following your intuition, you’re gonna screw it up. Fifty times. You can’t do parenting right.”

Alan Arkin

“Parenthood… it’s about guiding the next generation and forgiving the last.”

Peter Krause

“I don’t know what’s more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you’re doing.”

Jim Gaffigan

“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.”

Bill Cosby

“God, why does a mortal man have children? It is senseless to love anything this much.”

Barbara Kingsolver

“Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.”

Martin Mull

Read More: 15 Tips for First Time Parents to Help with Discipline

Funny Quotes About Work

Funny Quotes About Work

We work so that we can live in a better way, right?

It is undoubtedly an important part of our lives to learn new things and meet new people. And like all the aspects of our lives, our jobs have ups and downs too.

So, to make your day on the job better, and yes, happier, here are some work quotes for sarcasm. Trust me; this will make your daily grind a lot more enjoyable.

Read on.

“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”

Mitch Hedberg

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

Jack Handey

“Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”

Ellen DeGeneres

“Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.”

Bob

Peter: “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.”, Office Space

Bob (Paul Wilson) and Peter (Ron Livingston)

“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.”

Groucho Marx

“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”

Leslie Nielsen

“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.”

Elbert Hubbard

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”

Edgar Bergen

“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”

Robert Orben

“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?​”

Kin Hubbard

“Son, if you really want something in this Life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.​”

Homer Simpson

“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”

Jerome K. Jerome

“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.”

Robert Benchley

“All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.”, in the film Sgt. Bilko.

Steve Martin

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

Mark Twain

“Everything I have I owe to this job… this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.”, The Office

Jim Halpert

“You can’t have a million-dollar dream with a minimum-wage worth ethic.”

Zig Ziglar

“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.”

Sarah Brown

“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.”

Will Rogers

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence — then success is sure.”

Mark Twain

“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.”

Unknown

“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.”

Peter Drucker

Also Read: How to Tell if a Female Coworker Likes You?

Did you have a great laugh reading these quotes for sarcasm? Which ones did you like the most?

Let me know in the comments!

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