Has it ever happened to you that you got kicked out of your class or got detention for a week for cracking some sex jokes or sharing some adult riddles in school?
Well, one of my friends got kicked out of class when he was sharing a dirty riddle in the lobby, and our class teacher overheard him. Poor Jacob! That was his name, which I still remember because of that incident.
But not just Jacob; I know many of us did the same. The only difference is that we never got caught.
Now that we are adults, in a relationship, married, or have kids, we somehow got that license to talk dirty or share adult riddles and jokes.
This is the kind of fun that we want to have with our near and dear ones. Things become all the more enjoyable when our stock of jokes or riddles is out of the box and can make us laugh any day.
You know, the dirtier the riddles, the merrier!
And that is what I can help you with. Here I have come up with the dirtiest of riddles that are meant strictly for adults. Before sharing them, you need to ensure no kids are around.
So, are you ready to test how dirty your mind is with my selection of the best dirty riddles for adults?
If yes, keep scrolling!
The Best Dirty Riddles for Adults of All Time
Adulthood is not always boring, you know. There are many perks of being an adult. One of them is that you are your own rule-maker. And that is my favorite part of being an adult. I get to set the rules of the house. I get to decide what I want for dinner. And I get to decide where to travel next. And I love it.
This means you get to talk freely, even if itâs something naughty, without worrying about any consequences, opposite to what the situation would be if you were in school. You have grown enough to talk dirty to your partner and friends. And that leads us to dirty riddles.
Riddles are ALWAYS fun, no matter what the topic is. But when the topic is something naughty and kinky, the excitement becomes a hundred times more, isnât it?
And the best thing about riddles is that you can play anywhere you want. You donât need anything to get started with this super fun game. All you need are some people with whom you can play. So, without further ado, letâs dive straight into the riddles!
Dirty Riddles for Friends
Friends are the next best thing to family. In fact, they become a part of your family after a certain period.
Your friends are the ones with whom you can share everything. They are there to listen to your romantic lines when you are in love and also to listen to your lament after your breakup. And with them, you can share whatever is in your mind, knowing that they will not judge you.
I have a friend whose words start with slang. And he has such a sense of humor with his dirty words that we are always laughing when he is with us.
Riddles make you laugh, too, especially when you give a silly answer. And when friends and dirty riddles come together, know that you are going to have a blast!
In this section, I have listed the best-double-meaning riddles that are perfect for sharing with your closest buddies.
Have fun!
I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?
Your nose.
What four-letter word begins with âfâ and ends with âk,â and if you canât get it you can always just use your hands?
A fork.
All day long itâs in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
An elevator.
What three-letter word starts with an âs,â ends with âx,â and has a vowel in the middle?
Six.
When I go in, I can cause some pain. Iâll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit and not swallow. What am I?
Your dentist.
I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. Iâm known as a big swinger. What am I?
A crane.
Whatâs beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isnât trimmed regularly?
The lawn.
What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A seatbelt.
Name a word that starts with âfâ and ends with âu-c-kâ?
Firetruck.
My business is briefs. Iâm a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it regularly. What am I?
A lawyer.
Iâm great for protection. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
Gloves.
Iâm the highlight of many dates. Iâm especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. What am I?
A bowling ball.
Whatâs made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes?
Erasers.
Itâs a fun thing to do and you devote a significant amount of energy to thinking about it, but you hate knowing that your parents are doing it. What is it?
Facebook.
Whatâs white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
Toothpaste.
Whoâs the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand, plus a dozen donuts.
Whoâs the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
The one who can eat the last donut!.
Whatâs most useful when itâs long and hard?
An education.
Many people like these to be as long as possible, but short ones can be effective. Itâs definitely possible for them to be too long. What are they?
Tweets.
What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of?
Legs.
Sometimes a finger goes inside me. You fiddle with me when youâre bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?
Your wedding band.
How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
What is soft and wet on the inside while hard and hairy on the outside? The word begins with âc,â ends in ât,â and thereâs a âuâ and an ânâ between them.
A coconut.
Dirty Riddles for Your Girlfriend
When you have just started dating or are new in a romantic relationship, you are at your most passionate stage. After all, that is the time you have just started knowing each other, touching each other, and doing things to each other for the first time. Your romance knows no bounds.
But as your relationship grows into a stage where you already know everything about your girlfriend, your interest in her becomes less. Iâm not saying that you donât love her anymore. Itâs just that you have become comfortable.
Now, if you want to break this monotonous stage and bring some spark into your love life, how about you mix humor with naughtiness? That is where dirty riddles come into the picture!
You say some dirty riddle lines, your girlfriend thinks of something dirty, and then when you say the correct answer, she is left completely off the track! This can not only make your girlfriend laugh but also LOVE you – if you know what I mean!
I am dirty, I love being filled with wood, but someone only goes down on me once a year. What am I?
A fireplace.
Whatâs the best part of your body to put into a pie?
Your teeth.
Everytime I come, itâs news. I often hit your bush, but only when my aim is bad. What am I?
A newspaper delivery person.
Some people like to keep me trimmed, others keep me long. Everywhere seems to get covered in it. What am I?
Grass.
You use your hand to whack me off, the bigger I am, the louder I make people scream. What am I?
A spider.
People use their hands to go up and down me, Iâm very long and very hard. What am I?
A railing.
Every man has me. Iâm a word that begins with the letter âPâ and for me to grow, I need stimulation. What am I?
The pupils of his eye.
I come with a great pair and people love to eat me. What am I?
A lobster.
What gets wetter when things get steamy?
Steamboats.
I absolutely love holding your buns all day. What am I?
A hair tie.
I once let over 1000 different people inside me, until I was ripped open by something long and hard. What am I?
The Titanic.
I grow in a bed, first white then red, and the plumper I get, the better women like me. What am I?
A strawberry.
The more popular you are, the more you get. You can do it with yourself, but itâs always better with someone else involved. What am I?
Email.
Next: âWhat Am I?â Riddles Guaranteed To Leave You Puzzled 14. You can go on top of me or underneath and I always involve a bed. What am I?
A bunk bed.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Donald Trump has a small one. And Seal doesnât have one at all. What am I?
A last name.
What makes menâs voices louder than womenâs?
Their antenna.
What can you find in a manâs pants that youâll never find in a womanâs?
Pockets.
Whatâs the biggest thing a man has in his trousers that a lady doesnât want on her face?
Wrinkles.
What is something that people keep in their trousers that their partners love to blow?
Money.
20th of 73 Dirty Riddles 20. What does every woman have that starts with a âvâ that she can use to get what she wants?
Her voice.
What can turn an âooohâ into an âAaahâ?
About three inches.
I have a long shaft. I always penetrate with the tip first and I always come with a quiver. What am I?
Arrow.
You must blow me to play with me. What am I?
A balloon.
Iâm long, usually smooth and have the word âcumâ in me. What am I?
A Cucumber.
Iâm small and hard, but holes love me. What am I?
A key.
Dirty Riddles for Your Boyfriend
Most boys like it when you take the lead in a relationship. They like it when you take them on a dinner date, send them gifts, or surprise them. And they like it even more if you are the one to initiate physical intimacy.
So, the next time you call him at your place, how about you blow his mind with your sense of humor too? Play a game of riddles with him. Not just riddles, dirty riddles.
Ask him some dirty riddles. The lines of the riddles are such that they are going to make him think of naughty things. And when you are done playing riddles, you can start your own love game!
The following are some dirty riddles for adults that are perfect for sharing with your boyfriend.
Why do women hate the sight of quarters? âBecause men have a greater chance of finding a quarter than finding a womenâs g-spot.â
What gets bigger when someone blows, and the faster you apply the proper technique, the bigger it gets.
A balloon.
If I were any longer and harder, people wouldnât be able to afford me. After their time with me, people feel greatly relieved. What am I?
A college degree.
I live on a peak that is sometimes pointy when cold, and I can be large or small. What am I?
A nipple.
I get wetter when you use me but i’m harder when I am dry. What am I?
A sponge.
I go in your mouth for short periods of time before coming out again. I work best when I am wet and can be painful when I am dry. I put a healthy smile on your face after I am done, and learning how to use me with good technique will improve your complexion. What am I?
A toothbrush.
What drives women crazy that men keep in their pockets that women will long to keep their hands-on and love to see it entirely spent?
A money clip.
What is best used in your mouth, on average 6 inches long, and vibrates?
An electric toothbrush.
What goes up slowly, goes back down slowly, and gets lighter after it relinquishes a load?
An elevator.
What is something people keep in their pants that their partners love to blow?
Cash.
What is something some people find gross that dogs will do that you can step in?
Pants.
What is a four-letter word starting with âfâ and ending with âkâ that you will have to use your hands sadly if no one gives it to you?
A fork.
What is something all your friends do, but you hate if your parent starts doing it too?
Facebook.
What begins with âPâ that men typically have, responds to stimulation by getting bigger, and generally is the biggest at night in the dark?
The pupil of your eye.
I am on your pants, on your shirts, and sometimes on your forehead. People who have lots of me are very experienced, but people hate when I show up under their eyes. What am I?
Wrinkles.
What comes with a quiver, is stiff, has a shaft, and a tip designed to penetrate?
An Arrow.
Itâs hard to enjoy me without spreading me. What am I?
Butter.
This is in menâs pants but rarely on a long dress. What is it?
Pockets.
I have cum in me and am long and hard. Many people enjoy me as a healthy snack. What am I?
A cucumber.
This is something you stick poles inside. This will get wet before you do if you use it properly. What is it?
A tent.
Dirty Riddles for Your Husband
In a marriage, things become predictable after a time. And you lose that excitement that you used to feel in the early days of your relationship. This is especially true if you are a new parent struggling to make at least some time for yourself and your husband.
Riddles can be your savior. Yes, playing dirty riddles with your husband after your kid is asleep can raise the temperature in your bedroom.
So, the next time your kid is off to bed and you have some time to spend with your husband, donât let it go to waste. Play some slow music, dim the lights, and start asking your husband the following riddles in a sexy voice.
No matter if your husband answers wrong, it will surely get you two in the mood for a long intimate night.
What goes in dry and hard but comes out soft and wet?
A sponge.
What four letter word that ends in âkâ means the same as intercourse?
Talk.
Your finger fits right in it. You play with it when youâre bored. Once youâre married, youâre stuck with the same one forever. What is it?
A ring.
Whatâs six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
You play with it at night in bed. Youâre not allowed to fiddle with it a work. Only very special people are allowed to touch it. What is it?
A smartphone.
What does every woman have that starts with a âVâ and that she can use to get what she wants?
Her voice.
What goes up, lets out a load, and then goes back down?
An elevator.
I sometimes cause pain when I go in. Iâll fill your holes if you ask me to. I ask you to spit not swallow. What am I?
A dentist.
What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow?
Money.
What does a dog do that you can step into?
Pants.
What four letter word begins with âfâ and ends with âkâ, and if you canât get one you can use your hands instead?
Fork.
Itâs fun to do but you hate knowing your parents do it too. What is it?
Facebook.
What four letter word ends in âitâ and can be found at the bottom of bird cages?
Grit.
Every man has one. Some are big, some are small. It feels great when you blow it, but it drips if you arenât careful. What is it?
A nose.
What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?
A seatbelt.
What does a man have that begins with âPâ and gets bigger if itâs properly stimulated?
The pupil of his eye.
What does a man have in his trousers that a lady doesnât want in her face?
Wrinkles.
It involves a bed. Some people prefer it on top, while others prefer it on the bottom. What is it?
A bunk bed.
Whatâs beautiful and natural, but gets long and prickly if it isnât trimmed regularly?
Grass.
I have a stiff shaft and my tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?
An arrow.
Dirty Riddles for Your Wife
Have you been married for long? Does your intimacy lack that initial spark? How about you spice up your sex life a bit? Sharing dirty riddles with your wife can help.
Plan a game night at home with her. Ask her riddles. She will be completely unaware of what kind of riddles you are going to ask. And then, when you ask her dirty riddles in a slow, manly voice, she canât help but have goosebumps all over her body.
The answers will make her laugh hard. But can you ignore the sexual tension between the two while saying the lines of the dirty riddles? The following are some of the dirtiest riddles you can have your hands on!
Iâm white and you can put me in your mouth. Swirl me, spit me but if you swallow it may taste bitter. What am I?
Toothpaste.
Most people AND their significant others finger me on their first date. What am I?
A bowling ball.
You can use your hands OR your mouth to get me off. What am I?
Gloves.
I work with briefs and Iâm amazing when using my mouth. What am I?
A lawyer.
Iâm short afterwards, but long before being used. Iâm always light and I end in âICKâ What am I?
Wick.
I asked my girlfriend for doggystyle today!
So she rubbed my face in pee.
I fit perfectly between b0obs, get longer when you pull on me and slide neatly into small holes. What am I?
A seatbelt.
Cut me regularly or, if you want to be selfish, get someone to do it for you before it gets prickly. What am I?
The lawn.
60th of 73 Dirty Riddles 60. Iâm a swinger with giant balls, and Iâm perfect at helping to get erect. What am I?
A crane.
Iâm usually all white, great at filling any hole and I never let you swallow. What am I?
Your dentist.
I can be seen at home or with a huge public screen. I begin with P and end in O-R-N. What am I?
Popcorn.
I come from nuts, can be very sticky and I taste amazing in your mouth. What am I?
Peanut butter.
People love being inside me, and my shaft goes up and down everyday. What am I?
An elevator.
If you canât get me, you could always just use your hands to get the job done?
A fork.
Stick something long and hard inside me and see me get bigger until the job is done. What am I?
A tent.
What is Snoop Doggâs favorite gardening tool?
Hoes.
Women canât get enough of me, and I rhyme with âsockâ. What am I?
Talk.
What happens when a lady gets something she really enjoys?
It makes her whole week.
Why is sex like a good steak?
Hours of prep work, just to be told âWell doneâ.
Whatâs long, pink, and makes women scream?
A Bridesmaid Dress.
Whatâs long, hard and tastes great in your mouth?
Pi.
What 4 letter word do some women love having inside them?
Baby.
According to his best friend, what is every manâs favorite position?
Doggy Style.
Dirty Riddles for Adults That Are Actually Innocent
The best thing about riddles is that they make you laugh. And when the riddles are dirty and have sexual connotations, it becomes all the more exciting and fun for adults.
These riddles have such lines that you are bound to think of something dirty, no matter how innocent of a person you are!
This makes you give wrong answers, and the person who asks you the riddles gets to have all the points if you are being competitive.
The following are some of the most misunderstood dirty riddles of all time.
For example, âQ: You slide your fingers across me first thing in the morning, you play with me before you go to bed, I live in your pants, I am always in the back of your mind, and you canât live without me. What am I?
A: A cell phone.â
I bet you thought something dirty!
Two Nuns are out cycling. âOne says,
Iâve never come this way before.
How does a bald man run his fingers through his hair?
He cuts holes in his pockets.
What did the deer say when she came out of the woods?
Iâll never do that for two bucks again.
How does a woman hold her liquor?
By the ears.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Gahk!!!
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I wore the wrong sock today.
What two things in the air can get a girl pregnant?
Her knees.
What does an elephant say to a naked man?
How do you breathe with that thing?
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
Because B shells would be too small.
A woman sat down and said, âBartender, Iâll have a double entendre.
So he gave it to her.
Whatâs better than roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ.
Why is Santaâs sack so heavy?
He only comes once a year.
Whatâs the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
I donât pay $200 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth.
How do you find a blind guy at a nude beach?
Itâs not hard.
Reproductive health clinic with a sign that says:
For family planning and contraceptives, come through back door.
How do they separate the men from the boys in the Navy?
With a crowbar.
What do you do when a whale comes in your window?
Swim.
What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
FullâŠ
Girl: My lips are very dry.
Boy: Doesnât it hurt when you walk then?
Did you hear that they found a hole in the wall of a nudist colony?
Police are looking into it.
How can you tell the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?
By the taste.
You know how to tell male deer from female deer?
The males are hornier.
How do you make a hormone?
Donât pay her.
I came into some money recently.
Next time Iâll use a towel.
Conclusion
Whether you are arranging a get-together with your friends or attending a party with your closest bunch, riddles is that one game that is always a hit. And when you ask riddles on a dirty topic, you make the most of your time laughing.
Also, not only with your friends, you can play the game of riddles with your life partner as well. I hope you liked the dirty riddles for adults that I have listed here. Whom did you play it with? Who turned out to have the dirtiest mind?
Let me know in the comments!
Hi, I am Claudia, I run TheQueenMomma’s content creation team, personally focusing on topics which add joy to people’s life. You would usually see me writing on topics like Jokes, Riddles, Truth & Dare as well as Baby Names etc.
In my professional career, I have a Bachelor’s and Master’s in sociology and specialize in media and crime. Once I finished my education, I began my career working as a journalist, reporting on various topics like crime, justice and family law. Even though I valued journalism, I came to the realization that I wanted to have a more immediate impact in people’s lives as well as bring joy to them.