Graduation is a momentous milestone, marking the culmination of a journey filled with hard work and personal growth. Whether you’re transitioning from high school to college or preparing to enter the professional world, this achievement calls for a joyous celebration.
And what better way to add laughter and excitement to your graduation ceremony than with a collection of hilarious and entertaining jokes?
Join us as we share some of the most side-splitting and memorable jokes to make your special day even more remarkable. Get ready to laugh out loud and create lasting memories with your friends.
Hilarious Graduation Jokes That Will Make You Burst Into Peals of Laughter
So, all set to embrace yourself in a laughter riot at your graduation party! Well then, here are some of the best jokes we have for you. We’re sure that they’ll provide you and your guests with wholesome entertainment at the ceremony or party.
Best Graduation Jokes (For a Party)
Whether you have a high schooler or a college-goer who has graduated, you’ll be keen on celebrating their accomplishments. While planning for a party, you would aim to make it fun-filled and memorable as well. So, what do you have on your checklist? A photo booth? Picnic party? Chalkboard walls? The list is indeed long.
Hope you remember the JOKES. It could be like a Q&A session. One will ask questions, and the others will try their best to hit on the correct answers. When questioning, make sure that you do so with the right intonation. This will make the jokes sound all the more hilarious. Check out some of the best graduation jokes that’ll for sure make your party an eventful one indeed.
Why did the graduate break up with their calculator?Because it was too calculating.
Why did the graduate get a degree in philosophy?So they could ask themselves, ‘Do I really need a job?’
What did the graduate say when they found out they had to pay back their student loans?Guess I’ll be eating ramen for the next 10 years.
Why did the graduate refuse to walk across the stage to get their diploma?Because they didn’t want to trip and fall into unemployment.
Why did the graduate go to the bank wearing a cap and gown?To show the teller they were ‘majoring in finance’.
Why did the graduate cross the road?To get to the job interview on the other side.
What do you call a graduate who can’t find a job?A barista.
Why did the graduate start a lawn care business?Because they heard the grass is always greener on the other side.
Why did the graduate become a travel agent?Because they heard there’s no better way to avoid reality than to plan someone else’s vacation.
Why did the graduate get a degree in computer science?So they could finally figure out how to fix their parents’ printer.
Why did the graduate get a degree in anthropology?So they could study the mating habits of the unemployed.
Why did the graduate get a degree in literature?So they could learn how to write their own rejection letters.
Why did the graduate become a DJ?So they could drop the bass and their job applications at the same time.
What did the graduate say when they finally got a job?Looks like my degree in interpretive dance really paid off.
Why did the graduate get a degree in graphic design?So they could create their own resume in Adobe Illustrator.
Why did the graduate become a chef?So they could cook up a career that’s both fulfilling and delicious.
Why did the graduate get a degree in psychology?So they could understand why they’re still unemployed.
Why did the graduate become a comedian?So they could laugh their way through the job search.
Why did the graduate get a degree in environmental science?So they could study the impact of unemployment on the ozone layer.
Why did the graduate become a bartender?Because they figured if they couldn’t get a job, at least they could mix a mean cocktail.
What do you call a graduate with a degree in communications?Someone who’s really good at telling everyone they’re unemployed.
Why did the graduate become a personal trainer?So they could help people get fit and help themselves pay the bills.
Why did the graduate get a degree in engineering?So they could build a bridge to their dream job.
What did the graduate say when they finally got a job offer?I’m finally going to be able to afford a real meal instead of just instant noodles.
Why did the graduate become a teacher?So they could impart their knowledge onto the next generation of unemployed graduates.
Why did the graduate get a degree in sociology?So they could study the effects of unemployment on society.
Why did the graduate become a writer?So they could write their own success story.
Why did the graduate get a degree in physics?So they could figure out how to defy gravity and find a job.
What do you call a graduate with a degree in art history?Someone who’s really good at asking ‘Would you like fries with that.
Graduation Jokes For Card Messages
When you get to know that the one closest to you has graduated, the onus lies on you to congratulate him or her and do something unique to make them feel special. What could be better than sending out graduation cards?
Now, the biggest challenge lies in the message. That could adhere to the likes, dislikes, and traits of the one you are sending out the card to. Is the receiver fond of emotional and sentimental messages? Then, you would have to make sure that the content is touchy.
However, if you’re to pen down the message for a Funny Bone, you know what to include in the card. If there’s a shortage of ideas, then don’t worry. We have some of the funniest joke ideas for you. Read on.
“Congratulations, you made it to the end of the beginning.”
“The tassel was worth the hassle.”
“It’s not the end, it’s just the beginning of a new chapter.”
“You’re now officially too cool for school.”
“The real world awaits, but for now, enjoy the celebration!”
“Diploma: the ticket to the journey of a lifetime.”
“Your degree is not just a piece of paper, it’s the key to unlock your dreams.”
“May your future be as bright as your graduation gown.”
“Well done! You graduated with flying colors and a whole lot of caffeine.”
“You did it! Now it’s time to take on the world.”
“Hats off to the graduate.”
“Today, we celebrate the end of an era and the beginning of a new one.”
“Congratulations on surviving the long and arduous journey of higher education.”
“You’re now a certified expert in your field, and the world is your oyster.”
“It’s official: you’ve graduated from the school of hard knocks.”
“May your future be filled with success, happiness, and plenty of coffee breaks.”
“Your hard work and dedication have paid off. Congrats!”
“You’re a graduate now. Let the job hunt begin!”
“Congratulations on earning your degree. Now go out there and show the world what you’re made of.”
“It’s time to put on your thinking cap and tackle the challenges ahead.”
“Your diploma is a testament to your hard work, dedication, and perseverance.”
“May your future be as bright as the smile on your face today.”
“The tassel was worth the hassle, and now it’s time to dazzle!”
“Graduation: where the tassel turns and the adventure begins.”
“A diploma is just the beginning. The real learning starts now.”
“You’ve climbed the mountain and reached the summit. Congratulations, graduate!”
“The world is waiting for you, graduate. Go out there and make your mark.”
“As you graduate, may your dreams take flight and your hard work propel you towards success.”
“It’s official: you’re a graduate now, and the world is your playground.”
“Congratulations on graduating, and remember: life is a journey, not a destination.”
Graduation Jokes For Speeches
If you’ve been assigned the task of giving a speech for the graduation ceremony, then it’s a big responsibility indeed.
Well, if you plan for a great speech with flowery words, it may look appealing but might not connect well with the audience. Chances are that they may find it monotonous and boring.
So, try keeping it formal with a humorous touch. Now how will you do that? By adding funny one-liners in between. Check out these amazing graduation jokes for speeches. It would surely help you to find ideas.
Yet, ensure you know where to draw the line regarding the fun element, especially if the speech is for a formal function. However, if it is for a private grad party, you could be at your most amusing.
“Graduation is not the end, it’s the beginning of your next level procrastination.”
“As graduates, you have a bright future ahead of you, unless you forget to wear sunscreen.”
“You know you’ve graduated when the tassel is worth the hassle.”
“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.”
“Graduation is just the beginning of the rest of your student loans.”
“Congratulations on reaching the end of the line, and the beginning of the rat race.”
“Remember, it’s not the grades that matter, it’s the connections you make with your professors.”
“You may have graduated, but you’ll never be free from pop quizzes in life.”
“As you go out into the world, remember to always proofread your resume.”
“You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle a group project.”
“Congratulations on finally being able to use your degree to make coffee for strangers.”
“The only thing harder than getting a degree is finding a job with it.”
“If at first, you don’t succeed, you’re probably a graduate.”
“It’s time to stop learning and start earning… minimum wage.”
“Life is like a final exam, you never know what’s coming next.”
“Remember, a diploma is just a fancy piece of paper until you make something of it.”
“You’re now officially allowed to use big words to impress people.”
“Graduating is like jumping out of an airplane with a parachute, you’re not sure where you’ll land but you’re ready for the adventure.”
“As graduates, you’re now one step closer to becoming a professional Netflix binge-watcher.”
“It’s time to say goodbye to Ramen noodles and hello to avocado toast.”
“Now that you’ve graduated, you can finally start worrying about your student loan debt.”
“You know you’ve graduated when you start referring to your professors by their first names.”
“A degree is like a key, it unlocks the doors to your future success.”
“Graduating is like winning a race, you’ve crossed the finish line, but there’s always another one waiting for you.”
“Now that you’ve graduated, it’s time to put your education to use… by answering trivia questions on Jeopardy.”
“The only thing better than graduating is not having to attend another 8 a.m. class again.”
“Congratulations on reaching the end of one chapter and the beginning of another, where the assignments are much harder and the deadlines are much closer.”
“As graduates, you now have the power to change the world, or at least your Facebook status.”
“The hardest part of graduating is realizing that now you have to adult.”
“The world is your oyster, but don’t forget to bring your own crackers.”
Funny Graduation Jokes
The jokes are funny. But if you wish for the funniest in the lot, check out the ones in this section. It is guaranteed that these are sure to give the guests a laughter riot.
They’ll be in for a remarkable experience, indeed. It is true that they may not be appropriate for a formal graduation celebration.
But when you have a graduation party at home, these jokes will undoubtedly keep your guests hooked to the party.
“I finally graduated…now I can finally start my unpaid internship!”
“I’d like to thank Google for being my go-to for everything I didn’t learn in college.”
“My GPA stands for ‘Get Pizza Again.'”
“I’m officially a graduate. Time to put my degree to good use…as a coaster.”
“I graduated with honors… honors debt, that is.”
“I’m officially a master of my degree… but not my student loans.”
“I thought I was done with all-nighters, but then I realized I have to stay up all night worrying about finding a job.”
“I’m not saying I’m the best graduate, but I did graduate with a degree in procrastination.”
“The best part about graduation? Finally getting to toss your cap in the air and never have to wear it again.”
“I can’t believe I made it through four years of college without learning how to do taxes.”
“Graduation day is like a giant list of people who can vouch for you on LinkedIn.”
“I graduated with a degree in English, so if anyone needs a great novel written in the future, hit me up.”
“I’m just a graduate with a degree in sarcasm and a minor in procrastination.”
“They told me I could be anything I wanted after graduation, so I became a professional procrastinator.”
“I’m so proud of myself for graduating, but now I have to go into the real world and actually do stuff.”
“I may have graduated, but I still can’t figure out how to fold a fitted sheet.”
“Now that I’m done with school, I can finally start my life-long career of binge-watching Netflix.”
“I may have graduated, but I still can’t remember how to do long division.”
“I can’t believe I spent thousands of dollars on a degree just to end up back in my childhood bedroom.”
“Graduation means saying goodbye to the life of studying and saying hello to the life of unemployment.”
“I graduated with a degree in philosophy… now I can finally answer the age-old question of ‘what do you do with that degree?’ with ‘I don’t know.'”
“I graduated with a degree in business, but I still don’t know how to do my own taxes.”
“I’m so happy to finally graduate, but I’ll miss my parents paying for everything.”
“I’m graduating with a degree in communication, so if anyone needs me to explain what that means, just let me know.”
“I finally graduated with a degree in engineering… now I just need to figure out how to fix my own car.”
“I’m graduating with a degree in graphic design… so if anyone needs a really cool resume, I’m your person.”
“I can’t believe I survived four years of college without learning how to cook anything besides ramen noodles.”
“I’m graduating with a degree in psychology, so if anyone needs someone to analyze their dreams, I’m your girl.”
“I graduated with a degree in art, so now I can finally afford to buy my own paint.”
“I’m graduating with a degree in computer science… now I just need to figure out how to fix my own computer.”
Knock-Knock Graduation Jokes
If planning for a fun activity that would have complete audience participation, then what could be better than knock-knock jokes? The puns at the end add a hilarious touch to the jokes. All could be seated at a round table.
The host takes the initiative of starting the joke by saying, “Knock Knock”. One of the guests responds, “Who is there?” and the cycle continues.
Since the theme is graduation, the knock-knock jokes we present below absolutely adhere to the context.
Alma mater is where I just graduated from!
Wendy graduate from school?
Annie body else feeling like a graduate today?
Don’t cry, it’s just my graduation day!
Candice be love that I just graduated!
Dishes the moment I’ve been waiting for, my graduation day!
Bless you! It’s my graduation day!
Isabel necessary to attend graduation to graduate?
Justin time for graduation!
Lettuce celebrate my graduation!
Maya graduation day and I’m feeling good!
Noah time like the present to celebrate my graduation!
Olive my life and I’m happy I graduated!
Peas help me celebrate my graduation!
Quincy the diploma and let’s party!
Rufus the bell, it’s graduation day!
Sara the moment, it’s graduation time!
Tom-orrow I’m officially a graduate!
Uma graduate now!
Val-idictorian, that’s who!
Waldo you know? I just graduated!
Xander the diploma, I’m done!
Yvonne more reason to celebrate, I graduated!
Zach-tually, I’m a graduate now!
Adrian so happy I graduated!
Beth-ter believe it, I graduated!
Charlie a graduation cap and gown!
Daniel high-fives for my graduation!
Eva since I graduated, life
Graduation Jokes For Kids
Who said only adults graduate? Kids graduate as well. Your tiny tot completes his/her preschool. It’s time to say goodbye to their kindergarten class and begin elementary education.
As a parent, it’s a big day for you as well, as it’s your munchkin’s first big achievement. How could your joy remain incomplete without a celebration?
And a party without jokes is out of the question. Since it’s a kid’s party, make sure that the jokes differ from the regular graduation jokes for adults.
Why did the student eat his diploma?He wanted a taste of success!
What do you call a person who graduates last in their class?A survivor.
Why did the math book look sad at graduation?Because it had too many problems.
What do you call a ghost who just graduated?A degree-specter.
What do you call a bear who just graduated from college?A grad-uate.
Why did the graduate break up with their calculator?It was too calculating.
Why did the student bring a ladder to graduation?To reach new heights!
Why did the tomato turn red at graduation?It saw the salad-dressings.
Why did the student wear sunglasses at graduation?To reflect on their success.
What did the one graduation cap say to the other?You stay put, I’ll go ahead!
What did the teacher say to the graduating student who always got in trouble?You’ve been expelled-ed!
What did the diploma say to the graduate?Hang in there, you’re framed for life!
Why did the student take their diploma to bed with them?So they could sleep on their achievements.
What do you call a graduate who doesn’t have a job?Home-schooled.
Why did the student bring a pen to graduation?To write their own future.
What do you call a snake who just graduated?A scholar-pent.
What did the teacher say to the graduating class?It’s time to make your mark!
What do you call a person who just graduated from clown college?A graduate-entertainer.
Why did the student bring a hammer to graduation?To nail down their future.
What do you call a pig who just graduated?A grad-hog.
Why did the student wear a bow tie to graduation?To tie up loose ends.
What do you call a graduate who can’t find a job?An over-educated burger flipper.
Why did the student bring a ruler to graduation?To measure their success.
What do you call a graduate who always takes a nap?A degree-sleeper.
Why did the student wear a watch to graduation?To show they were on time for success.
What do you call a person who just graduated from baking school?A graduate-cake-er.
Why did the student bring a shovel to graduation?To dig up their achievements.
What do you call a dog who just graduated from obedience school?A grad-dog.
Why did the student wear a cape to graduation?To show they were super-successful.
What do you call a graduate who doesn’t have a car?A pedestrian degree-holder.
Funny Graduation Quotes
Are you on the lookout for ideas for decorating the graduation wall? Then, you could definitely consider adding interesting quotes along with other things.
Would you like to confine the quotes to emotional and thoughtful ones? Or would you like to add a tinge of humor to it? Here are some graduation quotes, most of which have been penned down by eminent personalities.
Besides the fun element, these quotes have a touch of intellect to them as well. So here we go! Pick the ones you like.
“I can’t believe I got this far without Google.”
“Graduation is just a fancy way of saying ‘You survived the system!'”
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right – a skill I learned in college.”
“I have a degree in procrastination, and I graduated summa cum later.”
“I’m like a superhero, but instead of saving lives, I just showed up to class.”
“I may not have a job yet, but at least I have a degree in optimism.”
“I’d like to thank coffee and Wikipedia for getting me through college.”
“I can’t believe I paid thousands of dollars to be able to wear this silly hat.”
“If at first, you don’t succeed, redefine success and try again.”
“I’m officially done with school. Time to start my life of endless debt repayment.”
“I thought this was supposed to be the end of my stress, not the beginning of it.”
“They say college is where you find yourself. Well, I found myself broke and confused.”
“I have a degree in finding parking spots, thanks to my college experience.”
“I’m so glad I can finally put ‘professional student’ on my resume.”
“I’m pretty sure my degree is just a fancy receipt for all the money I spent on textbooks.”
“I’m graduating with honors: honors in Netflix binging and procrastination.”
“I’d like to thank my parents for always believing in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself or my major.”
“Graduating college is like finishing a marathon, except the marathon cost $100,000 and you’re not in any better shape.”
“I’m so excited to never have to take a final exam again. Until I have to take my driving test.”
“I’m ready for the real world. Just kidding, can I go back to bed?”
“I’d like to thank the academy, the internet, and my caffeine addiction for this degree.”
“I’m not sure if my degree is going to get me a job, but at least it’s a really expensive piece of paper.”
“I’m excited to start my job search, or as I like to call it, my full-time job.”
“I’m so happy to finally be done with school. Now I can focus on the important things, like paying off my student loans.”
“I never thought I’d make it to graduation, but I guess all those all-nighters were worth it. Maybe.”
“I’m ready to conquer the world. Or at least the line at the unemployment office.”
“I’m graduating with a degree in sarcasm and a minor in procrastination.”
“I’m so glad I don’t have to wake up early for class anymore. I can go back to waking up early for no reason.”
“I’m not sure what the future holds, but I’m pretty sure it involves a lot of coffee.”
“I’d like to thank my bed for always being there for me, even when I had a paper due the next day.”
We hope these fascinating jokes brighten your Graduation Day to the fullest. It’s a big day for you indeed, and when you have these amazing jokes to light up your special day, what more do you want?
Hi, I am Claudia, I run TheQueenMomma’s content creation team, personally focusing on topics which add joy to people’s life. You would usually see me writing on topics like Jokes, Riddles, Truth & Dare as well as Baby Names etc.
In my professional career, I have a Bachelor’s and Master’s in sociology and specialize in media and crime. Once I finished my education, I began my career working as a journalist, reporting on various topics like crime, justice and family law. Even though I valued journalism, I came to the realization that I wanted to have a more immediate impact in people’s lives as well as bring joy to them.