213 Funny Pirate Sayings (Talk Like A Pirate Quotes)

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Are you or your kids currently obsessed with pirates?

Well, pirates are no doubt cool! They fascinate us. And why will they not?

We get to see them in so many movies, series, games, shows, literature, and whatnot! And so, many of us like to talk like them and act like them.

Did I tell you how much of a big fan of pirates I am?

There are no movies, no series, and no shows on pirates that I haven’t watched! In my home, my husband and I have quite a fun time using pirate lingo. He knows how I love pirates. So whenever I feel down, he uses funny pirate sayings to cheer me up. And not to mention that it works every single time!

So, if you or your kids are fans of pirates, too, I have good news for you!

Here I have collected some funny pirate sayings from everywhere I could – movies, famous personalities, series, books, real-life pirates, and more. You can add these to your pirate vocabulary and have a great time of fun and laughter.

Want to be a cool mom?

Add these hilarious pirate sayings to your regular conversations with your kids and see how they love you more.

List of All Types of Funny Pirate Sayings

List of All Types of Funny Pirate Sayings

So, are you ready to make your days a little bit more magical?

Here come the pirate sayings!

Famous Pirate Quotes

Famous Pirate Quotes

Have you ever come across a real pirate? Did you know that they are fun in real life too?

Following are some funny pirate sayings that are sure to crack you up!

  • Let’s jump on board, and cut them to pieces.
  • There is none of you but will hang me, I know, whenever you can clinch me within your power.
  • As to hanging, it is no great hardship. For were it not for that, every cowardly fellow would turn pirate and so unfit the sea that men of courage must starve.
  • Damn my blood, I am sorry they won’t let you have your sloop again, for I scorn to do anyone a mischief, when it is not for my advantage.
  • Under the leadership of a man you have all chosen to flee. We shall see how you prove yourselves under the hand of a woman.
  • Heaven, you fool? Did you ever hear of any pirates going thither? Give me hell, it’s a merrier place: I’ll give Roberts a salute of 13 guns at the entrance.
  • Your words surround you like fog and make you hard to see.
  • In an honest service there is thin commons, low wages, and hard labor; in this, plenty and satiety, pleasure and ease, liberty and power.
  • Damn you villains, who are you? And from whence came you?
  • I am a free prince, and I have as much authority to make war on the whole world as he who has a hundred sail of ships at sea and an army of 100,000 men in the field.
  • I am a man of fortune and must seek my fortune.
  • Damnation seizes my soul if I give you quarters or take any from you.
  • If there’s a man among ye, ye’ll come up and fight like the man ye are to be!
  • If you’ll turn sober, and mind your business, perhaps in time I may make you one of my Lieutenants, if not, here’s a boat alongside and you shall be set ashore.
  • For my part, I am the ‘innocentest’ person of them all, only I have been sworn against by perjured persons.
  • I am sorry to see you here, but if you had fought like a man, you needn’t be hanged like a dog.

Popular Pirate Sayings

Popular Pirate Sayings

How about making your life a little easier by using these funny pirate sayings in your day-to-day life?

I have done the hard work of collecting them. So read them, integrate them into your daily life, and have your own moments of happiness!

  • It’s funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.
  • There is nothing so desperately monotonous as the sea, and I no longer wonder at the cruelty of pirates.
  • I think pirates, like astronauts, particularly for a boy, are always kind of worth thinking about.
  • A pirate spreading misery and ruin over the face of the ocean.
  • Merchant and pirate were for a long period one and the same person. Even today, mercantile morality is really nothing but a refinement of piratical morality.
  • Life’s pretty good, and why wouldn’t it be? I’m a pirate, after all.
  • In politics and in trade, bruisers, and pirates are of better promise than talkers and clerks.
  • I think pirates, like astronauts, particularly for a boy, are always kind of worth thinking about.
  • The pirate, he will sink you with a kiss, he’ll steal your heart and sail away.
  • It is when pirates count their booty that they become mere thieves.
  • Even pirates, before they attack another ship, hoist a black flag.
  • It’s more fun to be a pirate than to join the navy.

Funny Pirate Sayings on Love

Funny Pirate Sayings on Love

Yes, pirates fall in love too!

Here’s their hilarious take on love.

  • Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
  • Ah. Love. A dreadful bond.
  • Since we met in love, let us part in love.
  • Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
  • If you choose to lock your heart away, you’ll lose it for certain.

Funny Pirate Sayings from the Famous “Pirates of the Caribbean” Movies

Funny Pirate Sayings from the Famous “Pirates of the Caribbean” Movies

Did I tell you that I have watched all the series of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies more than a hundred times?

Yes, I’m that obsessed with the movies, or you can say, Captain Jack Sparrow! I wish I could be with him on his ship at least for once.

Are you a fan of this movie series too?

Then here are some pirate sayings for you to make your day!

  • You can always trust the untrustworthy because you can always trust that they will be untrustworthy. It’s the trustworthy you can’t trust.
  • No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder.
  • Will Turner: This is either madness or brilliance.
  • Jack Sparrow: It’s remarkable how often those two traits coincide.
  • James Norrington: You are without a doubt the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of.
  • Jack Sparrow: But you have heard of me.
  • Spanish pirates! Vagabonds and lummoxes! What are they doing in our Caribbean, I’d like to know? Don’t they have their own sea to pillage and plunder?
  • Risky thing, helping slaves escape.
  • Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.
  • My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.
  • You can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly … stupid.
  • You’re the ones in the need of rescuing and I’m not sure if I’m in the mood.
  • I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
  • Did everyone see that? Because I will not be doing it again.
  • Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you tried to kill me in the past, one of you succeeded.
  • Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?
  • Close your eyes and pretend it’s all a bad dream. That’s how I get by.
  • Me? I’m dishonest and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly! It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for.
  • You may kill me but you might never insult me.
  • Batten down the hatches, mates, it’s gonna get ugly! Relatively speaking.
  • Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy, therefore I’m not crazy, isn’t that crazy?
  • This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow.
  • The seas may be rough but I am the Captain! No matter how difficult, I will always prevail.
  • The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
  • I’ve got a jar of dirt!
  • Why fight when you can negotiate?
  • But better to not know which moment may be your last. Every morsel of your entire being alive to the infinite mystery of it all.

Hilarious Pirate Quotes from Other Movies

Hilarious Pirate Quotes from Other Movies

Pirates and movies are a great combination! Here are some more funny pirate sayings to brighten up your day!

  • You got the makings of greatness in you, but you got to take the helm and chart your own course!
  • You know, the problem with being the last of anything, by and by there will be none left at all.
  • We have been boarded by four armed pirates. You know the drill. We stay hidden no matter what.
  • Bad Polly: What an imagination. First pirates, now talking parrots, what’s next?
  • The Great Gonzo: I thought pirates had talking parrots as pets.

Long John Silver: Talking… parrots?

  • The only two things a pirate’ll run for is money and public office.
  • Captain Bully Hayes: Are you putting down in that book that I’m a pirate?

Writer: Well, in a manner of speaking, I suppose I could say that I am, yes.

Captain Bully Hayes: Good! Because I am! And a damn good pirate too.

Also Read: 174 Hilarious and Funny Quotes for Sarcasm That Will Make Everyone Laugh

Funny Pirate Quotes from “Black Sails”

Funny Pirate Quotes from “Black Sails”

Have you watched the famous pirate show “Black Sails?”

I bet you have! Here are some sayings from the show!

  • I don’t believe I can find anywhere else on earth–a big prize. And with it freedom. From water, from hunger, from wages.
  • In the end, that’s all I want: to walk away from the sea and find some peace.
  • I built this from nothing. And none of it is real.
  • In the dark, there is discovery, there is a possibility, and there is freedom in the dark once someone has illuminated it.
  • When I take something from a man – his ship, his money, his life – I don’t hide behind a clerk. I don’t hide behind the law. I don’t hide behind anything. I look him in his eye and I give him every chance to deny me.
  • Me, I can’t help myself. I see an opportunity, I take it. It’s a sickness. Truly.
  • When the king brands us, pirates, he doesn’t mean to make us adversaries. He doesn’t mean to make us criminals. He means to make us monsters.
  • I don’t really want to be on this crew a day longer than is absolutely necessary. I don’t want to be a pirate. I’m not interested in the life.
  • It isn’t about getting them to like you; it’s about reminding them how much they dislike each other.
  • Our crew is less than a day removed from a mutiny. I don’t care how much gold you dangle in front of them, that hatred doesn’t just disappear.

Amusing Pirate Sayings from “Treasure Island”

Amusing Pirate Sayings from “Treasure Island”

Robert Louis Stevenson has written “Treasure Island,” – a popular literary piece of art. And you can find the following funny pirate sayings in it.

  • It’s a pleasant thing to be young, and have ten toes, and you may lay to that.
  • Them that die’ll be the lucky ones.
  • Sir, with no intention to take offense, I deny your right to put words into my mouth.
  • If it comes to a swinging, swing all, say I.
  • There’s never a man looked me between the eyes and seen a good day a’terward.
  • I’m a plain man; rum and bacon and eggs is what I want,
  • You can kill the body, Mr. Hands, but not the spirit;

Funny Pirate Sayings from “Assassin’s Creed Black Flag”

Funny Pirate Sayings from “Assassin’s Creed Black Flag”

Are you into pirate games?

Then you must have played the popular Assassin’s Creed Black Flag game, where there are so many hilarious pirate sayings.

  • It’s all a big show. Give your quarry something to fear, some hellish thing from a fever dream, and men will drop to their knees pleading for their Lord before all else!
  • If I don’t find some means to make the fifth a quiet and cozy voyage, I’d rather sink to the Devil’s doorstep than call myself cap’n another year.
  • Mary Read: Nothing is true. Everything is permitted. This is the world’s only certainty.
  • All men are sheep. And that an old wolf like me deserves every ounce of blood he draws.
  • I am with riches and reputation, feeling no wiser than when I left home.

Humorous Pirate Sayings from “One Piece”

Humorous Pirate Sayings from “One Piece”

This video game is a hit among pirate lovers, and there are tons of hilarious pirate sayings to make you happy!

  • Forgetting is like a wound. The wound may heal but it has already left a scar.
  • If I can’t even protect my captain’s dream, then whatever ambition I have is nothing but talk!
  • It’s not about whether it’s impossible or not, I’m doing it because I want to.
  • People’s dreams… Never end!
  • My wealth and treasures? If you want it, I’ll let you have it. Look for it, I left all of it at that place!
  • Those who are willing to fight beside me in the battle for freedom, come aboard my ship, I will change this world someday, I swear it.
  • You can’t see the whole picture until you look at it from the outside.
  • Protecting what we cherish most is the reason why we formed this pirate crew.
  • What do you know of death?! Have you ever died?! You think death will preserve your cause forever?! Ridiculous! Death doesn’t leave anything behind!
  • You want to keep everyone from dying? That’s naive. It’s war. People die.
  • Once a person passes on, only dead bones remain. If there is one thing I can’t stand, it is a person with no respect for life.
  • There is someone that I must meet again. And until that day…not even Death itself can take my life away!
  • It may be hard right now… But you must silence those thoughts! Stop counting only those things that you have lost! What is gone, is gone!
  • Only weak men would die after someone spared their lives!
  • You need to accept the fact that you’re not the best and have all the will to strive to be better than anyone you face.

Read More: 188 Funny Truth Or Dare Questions For Teens

Random Funny Pirate Sayings

Random Funny Pirate Sayings

Live a little more with these hilarious pirate sayings!

  • To err is human but to arr is pirate!!
  • To life, love, and loot.
  • Pirate code: Ne’er say thank you. Say, I’ll kill you tomorrow.
  • May your blade always be wet and powder dry.
  • Be who you arrrr…
  • If rum can’t fix it, you are not using enough rum.
  • I don’t give a ship!
  • Keep Ca…. Why is the rum gone?
  • May your anchor be tight, your cork be loose, your rum be spiced and your compass be true.
  • If I download a movie in Jamaica… Am I a pirate of the Caribbean?
  • Under a black flag, we sail and the sea shall be our empire.
  • Live in the sunshine, swim in the ocean, and drink in the wild air.
  • No cause is lost if there is but one fool left to fight for it.
  • Keep calm… and say Arrr!
  • Right from the Voyage of Noah, surviving was by sailing. Avast ye! and sail against the tides.
  • I just want to be a pirate… But I couldn’t get my ship together.
  • A Pirate’s favorite movie is one that is rated ARRRR!
  • The rougher the seas, the smoother we sail. Ahoy!
  • The rougher the seas, the smoother we sail. Ahoy!
  • Take what you can, give nothing back.
  • Sometimes it just takes a pirate to get the job done.
  • Arrrgh means I Love You in pirate.
  • The captain is always right.
  • Of course you had a choice, Riden. You just had a hard one. And you chose the easy option, which was to do nothing.
  • Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring. So I go back to being a pirate.
  • Keep calm and… say ‘Arrr’.
  • Pirates never go shopping. Unless by shopping, you mean pillaging.
  • All for rum and rum for all!
  • Only pirates can get away with saying Yo ho!
  • My mom would not let me see the pirate movie because it was rated rrrrr.
  • Sailors tell stories. Pirates make legends!
  • You arrrrrr my most sought after treasure!
  • Don’t ever let people that see what’s in your left hand, see what’s in the right…
  • Money can’t buy you happiness… But it can buy you rum!
  • I just walk and talk like Captain Jack Sparrow!
  • I’m not drunk!
  • Time flies when you’re having rum!
  • There comes a time in most men’s lives where they feel the need to raise the Black Flag.
  • The cure for anything is saltwater, sweat, tears, or the sea.
  • There comes a time in most men’s lives where they feel the need to raise the Black Flag.
  • Always be yourself, unless you can be a pirate… Then always be a pirate.
  • Avast ye landlubbers! Ye can throw ye lunch in Davy Jones’ locker, but not yer homework!
  • Drinking rum before 10:00 am makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.
  • Ye can have me booty but leave me chest alone!
  • There is nothing like the smell of cannon fire in the morning.
  • When a pirate grows rich enough, they make him a prince.
  • I feel underdressed without some pirate garb.
  • Loot is first and wimmen second. Because if ye have the first ye’ll have the second, but if ye have the second ye won’t have the first for long!
  • When I grow up, Aye wanna be a pirate!
  • Keep calm and… drink a bottle of rum.
  • Ahoy! Let’s trouble the water!
  • But the pirates never showed, and the slaves found themselves trapped on a narrow peninsula. (Lesson: never trust pirates).
  • In civilizations without boats, dreams dry up, espionage takes the place of adventure and the police take the place of pirates.
  • I don’t really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I’d be a contrarian pirate.
  • It is a glorious thing To be a Pirate King.
  • Pirates could happen to anyone.
  • But… why is the rum gone?
  • There’s very little admirable about being a pirate. There’s very little functional about a pirate. There’s very little real about a pirate.
  • The rougher the seas, the smoother we sail. Ahoy!
  • Why are pirates better than everyone else? They just Arhhhhhhhhh…
  • What happens on the boat stays on the boat.
  • Stop being like a Des – PIRATE person.
  • Actually, I quite fancy you from time to time. When you’re not yelling at me.
  • Work like a captain, play like a pirate.
  • Who is a pirate’s favorite Star Wars character? Arrrgh-2 D2
  • Eat like a king, swear like a sailor and… drink like a pirate!
  • Piracy is the way o life. Ahoy.
  • Drink up me hearties yo ho …a pirates life for me!
  • If ye can’t trust a pirate, ye damn well can’t trust a merchant either!
  • Even pirates need to take baths.
  • A pirate is a man that is weak to achieve but too strong to steal from even the greatest achiever.
  • Fetch me another Cabin Boy…This one be split!
  • Yarrrr! There be only two ranks of leader amongst us pirates! Captain and if you’re really notorious then it’s Cap’n!
  • Arr! I just met ye, and this be crazy, but here’s me number, so call me, matey!
  • Share everything and become a pirate!
  • Every salty pirate needs a beautiful mermaid.
  • You had me at ahoy!
  • Pirates wash their hands because germs are everywhere.
  • Even pirates wash their booty!
  • A friend can betray you, but an enemy will always stay the same.
  • A pirate is for life, not just for Christmas!
  • Even pirates need to clean their room!
  • Land was created to provide a place for boats to visit.
  • You just have no right to violate any one’s PIRACY!
  • I may be a pirate, but I bristle at the thought of a woman losing her heart. Unless it’s over me.
  • You will always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow.
  • Run? I thought you said rum!
  • It’s all fun and games. Until someone needs an eyepatch!
  • Cruise like a sailor… Party like a pirate!
  • Touch my loot, feel my boot!
  • I found this humerus!
  • The existence of the sea means the existence of pirates.
  • Where there is a sea there are pirates.
  • May your anchor be tight, your cork be loose, your rum be spiced, and your compass be true!
  • Why be a princess… When you can be a pirate!
  • I’m a pirate, a weather beaten pirate, am sailing foreva!
  • One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
  • Every generation welcomes the pirates from the last.
  • Why do we need Algebra? Finding X is only important if you are a pirate.
  • Arrr we having fun yet?
  • I’m an instant pirate, just add rum!
  • A smooth sea never made a skilled pirate.
  • What’s a pirate’s favorite fast food restaurant? Arrrrbys!

Funny Quotes on Pirate Jokes

Funny Quotes on Pirate Jokes

Yes, there are so many jokes revolving around the life of a pirate!

  • The pirate walks into the bar with a ships wheel attached to the front o’ his trousers. The bartender asks, ‘What the hell is that ships wheel for?’ The pirate says, ‘I don’t know, but it’s drivin’ me nuts!’
  • A little boy is trick or treatin’ on Halloween by himself. He is dressed as a pirate. At one house, a friendly man asks him, ‘Where are your buccaneers?’ The little boy responds, ‘On either side o’ me ‘buccan’ head!’
  • What kind o’ socks does a pirate wear? – Arrrrgyle!
  • What’s the problem with the way a pirate speaks? – Arrrrticulation!
  • What’s the pirate movie rated? – Arrr!

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they can spend years at C.

Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?

Right where ye left him.

How do pirates prefer to communicate?

Aye to aye!

You May Also Read: 107 Hilarious Kids Joke That Will Make Your Little One Laugh

Some Common Pirate Lingo

Do you want to talk like a pirate? How about some help?’

Here are some terms that pirates commonly use. And guess what? I have included their meanings too!

  • Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!: Pirates use this term to show their disgust
  • Ahoy, me hearties!: Hello, my crew members or my friends. Basically, it is used to address a group
  • Ahoy!: Hello!
  • Aye: Yes
  • Blimey: Shock or surprise
  • Aye, aye: Crew members say this when they agree with the caption. It means, “I’ll do that right now!”
  • Sail, ho!: We can see another ship. It’s a warning.


Which funny pirate sayings made you laugh the most?

Don’t forget to let me know in the comments.

See ‘ye!’

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