While you can hurt your kids with sticks physically, nothing is more painful than to hear bad words from us, parents. In the midst of frustration and anger, we say things unintentionally to our kids. Instead of provoking sweet laughter from children, we tend to evoke through dropping cruel words. Some words lower their confidence, make them cry or worse, instantly destroy the relationship we’ve been building for quite some time.
While it may take some time and effort, you must stop saying these following to your little angels:
“I will do it for you.”
It is okay to make your child’s bed or manipulate their project; however, they will get used for your assistance. They will never learn to do it alone.
“Wait ‘til your dad gets home.”
This statement shows two wrong things. First, it looks like that you can’t punish your kid until later as well as allows them to behave more improperly. Secondly, it seems like that you can’t control the whole circumstance.
“You are alright.”
To a kid, who is just starting to discover the world, a small scrape is one of the most agonizing experience they will feel. While your instinct wants to reassure him/her that it doesn’t hurt much, you’ll just worsen his/her emotional breakdown.
Your role here is to let him understand and overcome his emotions. Give him/her a warm hug and empathize on what he feels.
“I am proud of you.”
Don’t use generic phrase just to boost your kid’s confidence. Many studies have found out that these affirmations make them dependent on you rather than getting their own motivation. As much as possible, congratulate them if they really deserve it and be more specific.
“Practice makes perfect.”
The message of this saying is correct – if you want to learn a skill, then you’d better spend more time practicing it. But the thing here is, your child perceives it differently. They would think that they are doing isn’t perfect. This puts them too much pressure and further scares them to disappoint you. Avoid doing that. For a rule of thumb, encourage your kids to enhance their skills through providing them that it’s the best feeling to improve.
“We cannot afford that.”
There are instances that we had to endure while hearing our pleading for something. With our desire to escape from the situation, we easily say that we don’t have money. From your child’s perspective, he/she interprets it that your family is suffering from a financial crisis that results in stress. Furthermore, it will also make them feel upset once you purchase something for your house, making them feel they are not your priority.
If that’s the case, simply tell them that you can’t buy the candy or toy since you are saving for more essential stuff.
Be mindful of what you say to your kids. You are their model and inspiration. You’ll be the one to mold them to become a good person. Keep a calm and age-appropriate way of approaching your angels.