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6 Things You Shouldn’t Say To Your Child

6 Things That You Shouldn’t Say To Your Child

While you can hurt your kids with sticks physically, nothing is more painful than to hear bad words from us, parents. In the midst of frustration and anger, we say things unintentionally to our kids. Instead of provoking sweet laughter from children, we tend to evoke through dropping cruel words. Some words lower their confidence, make them cry or worse, instantly destroy the relationship we’ve been building for quite some time.

While it may take some time and effort, you must stop saying these following to your little angels:

“I will do it for you.”

It is okay to make your child’s bed or manipulate their project; however, they will get used for your assistance. They will never learn to do it alone.

“Wait ‘til your dad gets home.”

This statement shows two wrong things. First, it looks like that you can’t punish your kid until later as well as allows them to behave more improperly. Secondly, it seems like that you can’t control the whole circumstance.

“You are alright.”

To a kid, who is just starting to discover the world, a small scrape is one of the most agonizing experience they will feel. While your instinct wants to reassure him/her that it doesn’t hurt much, you’ll just worsen his/her emotional breakdown.

Your role here is to let him understand and overcome his emotions. Give him/her a warm hug and empathize on what he feels.  

“I am proud of you.”

Don’t use generic phrase just to boost your kid’s confidence. Many studies have found out that these affirmations make them dependent on you rather than getting their own motivation. As much as possible, congratulate them if they really deserve it and be more specific.  

“Practice makes perfect.”

The message of this saying is correct – if you want to learn a skill, then you’d better spend more time practicing it. But the thing here is, your child perceives it differently. They would think that they are doing isn’t perfect. This puts them too much pressure and further scares them to disappoint you. Avoid doing that. For a rule of thumb, encourage your kids to enhance their skills through providing them that it’s the best feeling to improve.

“We cannot afford that.”

There are instances that we had to endure while hearing our pleading for something. With our desire to escape from the situation, we easily say that we don’t have money. From your child’s perspective, he/she interprets it that your family is suffering from a financial crisis that results in stress. Furthermore, it will also make them feel upset once you purchase something for your house, making them feel they are not your priority.

If that’s the case, simply tell them that you can’t buy the candy or toy since you are saving for more essential stuff.

Be mindful of what you say to your kids. You are their model and inspiration. You’ll be the one to mold them to become a good person. Keep a calm and age-appropriate way of approaching your angels.

 

40 thoughts on “6 Things You Shouldn’t Say To Your Child

  1. this is &a realy good post thnx dor sharing http://www.fooday.info

  2. I did not expect some of these phrases to be on here, but now I see why. Great post!

  3. This is a great write up.

  4. Some really useful tips. I think it is important to understand how kids perceive things as it can have a life long impact.

    myfootprintsaroundtheglobe.com

  5. Very good points made here! I think I am guilty of all of them.

  6. I like your list! Especially about affording things. I try to avoid any comments or conversations that have to do with money when it comes to the kids.

  7. Very inspiring read to a first time mum! Great advice . Thank you.

    1. You’re most welcome, fellow mommy! 🙂

  8. I agree with every single one, especially wait till your Dad gets home. I cringe when I hear moms say that. My husband is not the bad guy. We both discipline our children.

    1. That’s great, mommy Michelle! I exactly agree with your point. Good thing your hubby is being a great disciplinarian too. 🙂

  9. Really great advice. I don’t have children, but this is great to keep in mind for my students.

  10. Kids pick up so much. It’s so important that we are responsible about what we say to them

  11. This was insightful. Words I’ve often used and I understand how they can be misleading. Thank you for sharing.

  12. It’s a very good article. Sometimes we thought these words are okay but we really need to be mindful. Thanks for sharing!

  13. I think “I am proud of you” is totally fine to say. Just follow up with why you are proud of your child. I always tell my children that I’m proud of their hard work, their diligence, etc.

    1. Yes! Definitely that’s why we have to be specific. 🙂

  14. Great advice, thanks for sharing!

    The Girl! x
    http://www.girlbehindthelook.com/blog

  15. These are all great things to think about when parenting!

  16. Totally agree with “I’ll do it for you” 🙂

  17. I have told my sister in law about the ” i will do it for you” phrase too many times, it is just no right at all.

    1. You definitely got it, girl! 🙂

  18. Great advice! The cannot afford it one really resonates. My son would always ask me if we are poor after I had said we cannot afford something. And he looked sad. Although we are not rich, we are not poor as we can afford most of the stuff we need and there are a lot of poor people out there!

    1. Definitely that’s the spirit of this post, mommy! We may not see it visibly but deep inside it really affects our children’s psychology.

  19. This is such a short but powerful post. I am not a mom but I am a teacher. It is so useful for me as well, that I can use it in my class.

    1. Thank you so much, definitely how we deal with kids nurture them as individuals whether we are the parent or simply the educator.

  20. I may not have children, but I have two nieces, so that’s very helpful!
    Thanks!

    1. You’re most welcome! 🙂

  21. This is a very interesting post with a unique perspective- one I definitely hadn’t explored before but it forced me to think about things I was told growing up and how I interpreted them- great post!

  22. Telling kids you will do things for them affect their self esteem and confidence. This may affect them later on in school and their classmates will start looking down on them.
    I learnt something new though, I never thought saying “I’m proud of you” has bad impact on kids too. This is a great article, I will make use of the tips when I start having kids.
    http://www.doingitnaturalblog.com

  23. I think that the last point really deserves to be mentioned. Great advice! Thanks for sharing!! 🙂

  24. I learnt somethings today that i thought was initially right. Thanks for the post.

  25. This list is inspiring ! Great advice !

  26. Ill be using this at home and at worn! (I work at a school)

  27. I know can see where I got the perfectionism problem going on. I cant do a thing and feel like it was amazing because nothing seems perfect. And I keep trying but is a goal you never reach, because never you will feel you are perfect at all. Thanks so much for sharing those tips, I always say to my son how proud Im of him, I’ll find a better way to congratulate him.

  28. Really good points- worth noting

  29. Nice advice! Always praise your child that will boost their confidence.

  30. Great learning from the article

  31. Nice post

  32. Thanks for sharing! Some good suggestions

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